Entry 3: Fortune's Favor

The corridors of Hogwarts closed in as Neville ran. Or maybe the looming presence of the Durmstrang ship in the Black Lake and the giant Beauxbatons carriage outside just made everything feel crowded.

But unlike everyone else, Neville Longbottom wasn’t thinking about entering his name to gain glory. He was thinking about survival.

“Where you going, Longbottom? Going to run home and cry to Gran?”

Laughter echoed behind him alongside heavy footsteps. Neville’s heart hammered. He’d lost his wand. He’d lost his fucking wand. He was sure he had left it in the Great Hall and had gone back to check, but Malfoy had spotted him before he got inside.

He rounded a corner on the seventh floor and stumbled to a halt, lungs burning. Footsteps and laughter sounded ahead of him now too. Crabbe and Goyle, boxing him in. He was trapped. Panicked, he began pacing and mumbling to himself. Where was his fucking wand?

On his third pass, just as Malfoy rounded the corner, a heavy wooden door appeared in the stone. Neville stared for a heartbeat, then dived inside. The door slammed shut behind him, taking the sounds of the corridor with it and leaving only his heaving breaths.

He leaned against the wall. “What… where am I?”

Neville stood in a towering room full of junk. Mountains of things stretched to the ceiling, piled haphazardly on the floor. He sneezed, sending dust everywhere in strange, magical patterns.

“Whoa.”

Neville glanced back at the door and shrugged. He wasn’t going back out there yet, so he ventured deeper. Curiosity overrode his fear as he weaved between the items. A music box sprouted legs and scuttled away from him, quacking. He passed a full size suit of armor made from the porcelain of a tea kettle. A glowing red arrow bounced up and down on top of some broken bowls; Neville glanced over to see a piece of candy lying in a ceramic shard.

Lukky Likks – For Win Ur Lukk Runs Oot

The candy was wrapped in bright pink and yellow paper, glinting with gold. Neville picked it up and sniffed it before popping it into his mouth. It was good, a burst of raspberry lemonade followed by a hint of tingly mint buzzing on his tongue.

He wandered on, chewing absently, until he found himself before an ornate standing mirror. His reflection stared back, but something was wrong. The mirror showed him completely naked. More than that, it was clinically accurate, showing every scar, every bruise, and every injury he’d had in his entire life. Neville’s face burned crimson, even though no one was there to see.

He swallowed and looked away, and then he saw it. Sitting on the head of a dusty bust was a tiara. No, a diadem? Even tarnished and forgotten, it was beautiful, with delicate metalwork and gemstones catching the light. He couldn't look away. Something about it drew him forward, making his fingers itch to touch it.

Before he could think better of it, Neville lifted the diadem and placed it on his head.

He turned back to the mirror. His reflection was still naked, but the diadem gleamed atop his head, the only thing he was wearing.

Then the world tilted.

Pain.

White-hot agony lanced through his skull, right behind his eyes. His knees buckled, sending him to the ground. His stomach lurched. Something was wrong with the candy; it ignited inside him, roiling as he clutched his abdomen and doubled over. He retched, trying to vomit, but nothing came as he desperately forced a finger down his throat.

The room spun. The diadem burned hot against his forehead as his insides twisted into impossible knots. Somewhere in his misery, he registered a flash of brilliant green light, then nothing.

-- -- -- -- -- --

Neville woke to what he imagined a hangover would feel like. His head pounded, his mouth was dry and tasted of bile, and every muscle was taut with pain. He lay still for a long time, then groaned and sat up, rubbing his eyes.

When he opened them, he froze.

Words floated in the air, glowing a faint blue:

SYSTEM INITIATED
NAME: NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM
LEVEL: 1
CLASS: PENDING SELECTION

 

Spoiler: SPOILER

FUN!

I was like okay, Neville being Neville, wondering how you gonna pull the smart Neville once he gets the diadem on, and then frowned when the pain came, and then nearly snorted out my coffee when the bolded part came. All in all, for what it is, very well executed, and I don't know if you're messing with us or planning to write this further for the main comp, but either way good job. IT made my morning.

Nothing particular to comment on writingwise. If candy is supposed to be something, I missed it.

 

Spoiler

Definitely didn't expect that final bit. I do wonder when this is supposed to be happening, though. Neville isn't really identifiable as from any particular year, and his use of "fucking wand" took me out of it entirely. If not for the name and the forgetting of his wand there's nothing particularly Neville-ish about it either.

In terms of the plot itself, I saw that he was gonna put on the diadem and I thought, hrm. Technically it'd be Smart Neville if he got possessed by the diadem's Horcrux, but it's a little too much futzing with the rules, it seemed to me. You took it in a different direction in the end, which I'm not entirely sold on. I suppose that as a prologue it works, although you could set up more character dynamics if that was the case, I think.

 

Spoiler

Neville is great, love reading stories about him. He might be the funniest one there is to give the wit beyond measure to. Well done on that. Not sure if he would be stupid enough to eat random magical candy though? Canary creams I hear you say and point taken. Still though.

Not sure if Neville’s tormentors would know (or care) that he refers to his grandmother as Gran? Granny or grandmother might fit better in that exchange.

A “fucking wand” can (I’m sure) refer to many objects, but I’m pleased to read that the room of requirement understood to give Neville a diadem rather than a dildo. Might keep that in mind if you do an edit.

 

Spoiler

The twist at the end made me laugh out loud. I was not expecting that at all. Even without the twist at the end, I would have been interested to see where the story would go, as a possessed Neville would be interesting... or if the diadem actually gave you wisdom, would also be cool to see.