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Oneshot to break a good man by Ayla Pascal - M

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Stalin's Pipe Organs, Oct 9, 2010.

3.4400000572205/5, 25 votes
  1. Stalin's Pipe Organs

    Stalin's Pipe Organs Auror

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2009
    Messages:
    667
    Oct 9, 2010 #1
    Title: to break a good man
    Author: Ayla Pascal
    Rating: M
    Genre: Tragedy/Horror
    DLP Category: Dark Arts
    Pairing: None
    Status: Oneshot
    Summary: Bellatrix takes Neville as her prisoner.
    Link: ff.net

    The emotional torture is depicted quite well here

    along with Neville's death

    4/5
     
  2. Moridin

    Moridin Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

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    Oct 10, 2010 #2
    Decently well done, I liked how the author depicts the thought process. Kinda short though, felt a bit rushed. 3.5/5, rounded up to 4/5.
     
  3. Juggler

    Juggler Death Eater DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Nova Scotia, Canada
    Oct 16, 2010 #3
    I read it, and I liked it. Wasn't anything especially great, but was an interesting read, and had my attention the whole time. A solid 4/5 work, and I think it is a good example of how oneshots can be written.
     
  4. Imraefi

    Imraefi Third Year

    Joined:
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    Nov 17, 2010 #4
    A lurker emerges.

    I enjoyed it for the most part, but I felt that it could have been a bit longer.Also, I felt the author could have been a bit more descriptive, but nevertheless, it turned my stomach. 4/5.
     
  5. PapaMidNite56

    PapaMidNite56 Second Year DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Louisiana
    Dec 19, 2010 #5
    Very interesting story. It wasn't as gruesome as it could have been, but Bellatrix played with his mind really good. A decent one-shot

    4/5
     
  6. Remmy

    Remmy Fourth Year

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2010
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    Location:
    Manchester, England
    Dec 23, 2010 #6
    Decent read, kept me going till the end. Kind of like a train wreck: you know its going to be a horrible, gruesome end but you just can't look away no matter how much you want to. I have to admit I thought she'd Avada and/or torture him to death or he might even kill himself in one quick motion by impaling himself on a sharp end somewhere or some such. But to truly die of hunger and thirst, each agonizing moment of raw pain. That's a novel torture of its own kind. I think the author could have just been a tad more descriptive in describing Neville's pain in the last few days, but still, it was well-written and well worth a read.
     
  7. BZAR

    BZAR First Year

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2010
    Messages:
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    Location:
    Michigan
    Jan 4, 2011 #7
    I liked it.

    Despite a previous post saying it was not descriptive enough, I thought it was a perfect amount of description. It left the gruesome details to the reader. Besides, who wants a play by play action of Bellatrix with Hermione's nose?

    In the end, I like how Neville died. Yes it was painful and horrible, but despite that I think that Neville won. He backed away from the water. He chose not to live anymore. So, even though Bellatrix will probably tell other people she killed Neville, she never really won. Neville did.

    4/5