I don't think the sickness is really a mystery. She got hit with a botched entrail-expelling curse in first year that was meant for Harry. I'd say it is very likely she is unable to have children, and the reason she was researching stuff about Harry's family was partially just in case they managed to fix the problem.

Anyway, you've heard it here first folks. Harry's final project for graduation will actually be making the Philosopher's Stone. Because if you can't have kids, you might as well kick death in the balls and ride off into the sunset.

It's not a plot hole in canon. There is quite a bit of canon evidence to support the fact that curses can be more powerful depending on how talented (and emotional) the person casting them is, and it is stated outright in this story. That particular instance also resulted in the deaths of 12 muggles so the blood and flesh chunks would have been difficult to distinguish between. Thus the lack of blood may be a problem here, but it was most definitely not one in canon.

 

It's Confringo apparently, so The Santi should fix that. It does seem slightly unlikely that wizards would fall for a trick like that in this situation. I'm not sure what Priori Incantatem would do in this case, but at the very least, the political reasons why Pettigrew's subterfuge worked in canon seem like they wouldn't have that impact here.

That said, although I thought the scene was poorly written, there is something tidy and appealing in the way it ties back to canon.

Edit:

It seems slightly premature to blame him because you're disappointed in a part of the story you haven't read yet. I think this possible flaw in the story has been covered quite extensively: the character development is awesome, but at some point conflict really should take over. In the last chapter, Harry's evolution has been excellent, and the story has moved along pretty well recently.

I understand the criticism some people are levelling at this fic, but I'm not getting bored, and I find it frustrating that instead of particular flaws being pointed out, it's being criticised simply for the type of story this is.

 

Yeah I've read the previous criticisms as well. I completely understand that the character development is a heavy focus but I'd rather strong experiences also played a part in the character development and the recent detention one seemed weak and out of place to me. Also it was wrong of me to criticize the tri-wizard tournament since it hasn't happened yet, I guess it was me subconsciously trying to urge Santi to do something different or something like that. My bad on that one.

 

I just lol'd the fuck out at that.

Also, someone mentioned in earlier that Ivan's last name is Dutov (I could be wrong). If you're feeling pedantic, you could change that as it's not really a Serbian last name.

 

You don't need a serbian name to be one.

The first criticism I have is that the Exam scene felt a bit rushed (was said before), because it was just , " here is my patronus, thats it!". Although Harry preparing dark arts was interesting. It's not that it's bad but I think it could be better, but it's not a big problem.

Also I'm with the Calypso can't bear children Team.

Secondly, Pettigrew being thought dead because of a finger and a bit of blood? I think I heard this before. In this case, though, it's just unreasonable because last time there were twelve bystanders killed by the same curse, so it's more likely that a finger is the only thing found of Pettigrew.

 

I read it like that as well. I was thinking "Sure an elephant is....unique...but..."

I imagine Voldemort is still gonna be revived this year, which should add the tension you were saying it lacked before, and also make things more eventful.

I really liked the Animagus scene. Generally, I've not been as interested in that aspect of the plot. A ridiculous amount of cheesy Independent!Harry fics using Animagus transformations have made it rather dull. The scene made an impact. It gave a nice warm fuzzy feeling, without being cheesy. Nice after the darker parts of the story of the last few chapters. =)

I'd say it tied in nicely to the Animagus scene. We have Harry getting his Animagus form, and going through a very happy scene with Calypso. And then bang, straight into the Patronus scene - with it obviously being his happy memory.

The abruptness of it made that nice connection.

 

On first reading, during the detention I thought that Ivan might be someone else (namely Romulus) under polyjuice; mainly because of the comment about him seeming 'uncomfortable in his own skin' or something like that mixed with the actual events of the detention. After this latest update I am torn between being even more convinced that it was Romulus pretending to be Ivan and disregarding the idea completely... Great update, Santi! =D

 

To be honest, I would of expected Harry to be something along the lines of a Gray Wolf, instead of a Doberman. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gray_Wolf

To me, his personality and the behavior of that of a wolf (more specifically, a 'Lone Wolf' cast out/left the family) run along the same lines.

I've always thought that, like the Patronus, behavior traits and personality define your animagus form (see Tonks and the wolf patronus of hers in canon), but unlike Patroni, when you've learnt to become one, you're 'locked' in to that form once the process has been achieved.

For example, if Harry learnt how to become an animagus when he was younger, more naive and innocent, he'd be an entirely different animal to what he could be years later when he's cynical, jaded and lone minded.

 

Oh for the love of....now you have me wondering if he was being possessed by Voldemort. It was after all Voldemort who pushed him into this school in hopes of driving a wedge between the Potter family by turning Harry 'dark'. This is especially true since Romulus said he wasn't aware Ivan could use Legilimency in the latest chapter.

 

First thing that springs to mind:



Wolves and wolf imagery are so overused that they're prone to becoming cliches. Tacky cliches. The Three Wolf Moon t-shirt is a perfect example.

 

Now, that would be an interesting twist. Do we even know what Voldemort was doing in Harry's third year at Hogwarts in the canon? In this story he could check how his pet project is doing in a new school.

 

I really liked the chapter. I don´t feel it is rushed, it was hinted what his projects are and I don´t think it has to be explicitly stated again-we know Harry is still an impressive wizard and now he becomes even more driven and determined.

I don´t really know what to think on Pettigrew, but I´m inclined to think that he is not dead and just faked it.

But the important point is that Nathan thinks Peter is dead and he obviously can´t handle it. He thinks he killed someone- with a spell Harry gave him.
And I expect Nathan to be a total jerk and somehow blame Harry for giving him these spells that can kill. It will reinforce his believe that Harry is learning evil Dark Arts. And then Hary will probably spent his whole summer holiday learning the spells Romulus gave him-which are apparently quite destructive and dark.

Can´t wait to see these arguments and I agree with rakkety tam, Harry doesn´t care so much anymore how his family is going to react to his dark arts use, he just wants to use them and be the best.
How Harrys character slowly evolves and we see him growing appart from his family adds a subtle, increasing tension that is really, really well done imo.

 

Part 2/3

Legilimency is the name of the art, Legilimens is the spell.

I see that you tried to break a run-on, but it would be better to have it either after 'bent at the knees' or 'start of the duel', both requiring a little bit of work mind.

No real comment except that I liked it. Interesting how Harry is now focusing on strengthening himself mentally; I'm not sure if Harry knows about Snape's position or not, but Harry seems to be moving towards a similar skillset to a younger Severus Snape (plus skills in every class, not just Potions and Dark Arts).

Part 3/3

'a the blasting spell, confrigo'. Wasn't it confringo in the books? As well, I don't see a need to specify both the blasting spell and its incantation (although I believe that happened fairly often in the books).

I WANNA BE THE VERY BEST, LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS

(and after the fact, I notice that I'm twelve hours late)

Champignon? Non. Champion.

I liked it. I find it odd that the same justification worked for Pettigrew when he was blasted in a dormitory as when he was exploded on a street. If a man explodes in a room, he paints walls; if he explodes outside, where there are many bystanders, the fact that there is less blood than a human body holds and much less limbs is explained by people walking away covered in it. Not to mention, during cleanup and etc., there were other victems and it was a huge mess on the street; in a dorm where no one else is harmed, it's unlikely. I guess I could accept it as the school and Ministry not wanting a public probing of the breaking-into of a high-class school, but that James didn't mention any of it to Harry is odd.

I'm kind of surprised Harry is a doberman. Of course, not every animagus is analogous to their personality, but Harry didn't strike me as playful as a dog. I wish he had been a giraffe, just for the surrealism that would have presented. One moment you're duelling Harry Potter, the next a giraffe is kicking you in the throat.

 

So next time Ron screams like a bitch can he just be stabbed? Please <3

 

In my generation, the quote would be:

(For me, the Pokequote always dredges up memory of the Charlie Daniels Band lyrics).

I'm glad The Santi didn't go with a wolf. There's been a gazillion wolf animagi (Jeconais's This Means War being one of the more famous) and seeing another would have been a let down. That said, I was holding out for Kodiak.

 

Prediction: Ivan will not survive to see Harry's graduation, or die shortly afterwards. Mama Bear Calypso be pissed as all hell.

Same goes for Burke, the little turd who cursed Calypso in the first place, Harry owes him a couple of curses, perhaps the Trevor Special?

Add me to the group who read elephant instead of elegant, only one step further, when I read black hair I went "Holy shit Harry is a freaking mammoth!". Don't know why I did..

I wonder what Harry's discarded DA-project was, I'd have though he'd atleast show Romulus what he had, just to placate him and ease his disappointment. Despite not trusting him he's still a teacher, and Harry's all about impressing his teachers.

Fucking awesome that Harry managed to find his form and master the patronus, I was starting to suspect you'd use his failure to drive an even bigger wedge between him and Krum and Nathan.

..Romulus gave Harry a parchment filled with dark spells and instructions on how to use them and told him to practise over the summer. What the fucking fuck?! Looks like this summer is going to be quite interesting, Harry sneaking around at home while practising dark magic, this will not end well.

4th year is gonna be so awesome.

 

Concerning the recent update:

Harry's form is stupendous. A doberman is a witty, if a common choice (as a dog). But I think it supplements him nicely. Though, it would be funny if he had a useless form like a cockroach (strength and perseverance), though that would have belonged in a crackfic.

Calypso's condition is most likely infertility. It just fits. Harry is the HEIR of the House of Potter, so he should be concerned with maintaining the line, not that he is. This explains Romulus' misgivings and Calypso's resolve.

Harry's comments to Romulus most likely revolved around the Cruciatus. He did cast it succesfully (something that canon Harry [or Nathan in this fic] did not). So by accepting the list from Rosier he set himself firmly on the path.

I believe this to be the most important chapter in the fic, (edit: to date) how Harry loses the last shreds of his childhood innocence and embraces his desire to be the best. It is a pivotal moment and the turning point this story is all about.

 

Great Update! Looking forward to the triwizard tournament. I am hoping that the tasks you plan for the champions will be different than the canon ones.

 

No, he couldn't have. The finger came from somewhere and it's an everything or nothing deal.

 

Harry will likly learn the list of spells, but he could also go to dumbledore and ask for spells that would be able to take their place, he did fight a dark lord, he would know spells that are their equal and able to counter them.
HArry will be thrilled with nathan dealing with peter, in fact he should say "the only person allow to curse my little brother is me!" will he threaten nathan with tickling and cheering charms if he persists in feeling guilty.
Was the spell he was making for dark arts a way to harm dementors. Could dementors launch one last attack on nathan, so harry goes and deal with them.
Last summer his project was to learn occulemancy, now he is training and studying the tornement. finding the rules and the loopholes. His family would be worried, but he is a genius so hopeful and proud.
Could phoenix tears help to heal calypso, fawkes does like harry so possible.
Moody will not be pleasant to a rosier, nor will weasley so harry will have to set them straight.
Same tasks, or chance of something new, would igor encourage a duelling task, harry can fight multiple people.
So he goes to paris, will he still attend the finals. Will he attempt to help out, or stay with his brother. when the dark mark is cast will he ttry to curse the git.