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WIP Naruto: Potential Realised by Iron Monkey Fist - M - Naruto

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Knyght, May 7, 2012.

3.4375/5, 32 votes
  1. Knyght

    Knyght Alchemist

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    May 7, 2012 #1
    Title: Naruto: Potential Realised
    Author: Iron Monkey Fist
    Rating: M
    Genre: General
    Chapters: 19
    Words: 217,710
    Updated: May 6, 2013
    Published: June 24, 2011
    Status: Work In Progress
    Fandom: Naruto
    Pairings: Naruto/OC (Currently)
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7113972/1/Naruto_Potential_Realised

    Summary: The old man survived the invasion and acknowledged Naruto's services to Konoha. How would the shinobi world cope with a Naruto who realises his full potential and becomes the splendid shinobi only few believed he could be?

    This fic was recommended to me a few months back and I found myself pleasantly surprised. The basic idea is that Sarutobi survives the Invasion and, in the aftermath, Naruto is promoted to Chuunin along with Shikamaru.

    I enjoy the purpose and direction of the story which focuses on Naruto's growth both physically and mentally, in a realistic fashion. And the plot shows more originality than what I usually get from a Naruto fanfic. With Naruto taking on a higher rank, it also gives us a greater insight into how Konoha works (such as different divisions) as well as the type of workload a Chuunin receives.

    It features a number of OCs but not too many and they are all integrated believably. The only one I outright dislike is the one that's naturally meant to dislike. The fight scenes are handled well, though it's difficult to remain interested during the short OC-centric scenes. The romance is mostly in the background and still developing, and while Naruto's currently starting a relationship, I find myself doubting it'll be a single pairing that lasts throughout the story.

    Some things that put me off was Naruto's attitude in the first chapter which made it look as if the story was about to take a nosedive, but this was nicely subverted. The constant verbalisation of jutsu is something I have a problem with which can often break the immersion for me. And there are no some instances where the writer mixes up Japanese and English terms such as using both "brat" and "gaki" in the same conversation and also the use of "Sasuke-teme" which bugs me to no end. Finally, there are a few grammatically errors and uses of repetition within same sentences but it's sound writing on the whole.

    Overall, this is one of my favourite Naruto fanfics currently updating. 4.5/5 rounded up.


    Checked by Minion, August 1, 2013
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 1, 2013
  2. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    May 12, 2012 #2
    Wow, the author really does need to work on Chapter 1. If not for your review I'd probably have closed it after seeing Naruto's attitude. From the standpoint of maturity he probably wasn't ready for chunin rank, but since promoting him is the major premise in the story I can just go with the flow, despite Naruto sounding so whiny/ridiculous/OC while talking to the Hokage.

    It does get better though, even in Chapter 1. Naruto and Shikamaru joining a border patrol team is a bit strange, since I'd expect both Shikamaru and Naruto would be kept closer because of who they are, but I liked the getting-to-know you exercise as it was a nice throwback to Team 7... though his new Team Leader is a bit of an ass. Though at least I can attribute it to him being sour that he's not been promoted out of his current job yet.

    Sasuke... isn't pissed that Naruto got promoted and he didn't? That's just weird, but it has potential if it's written right later on.

    Author says that Naruto "sweat-dropped" in chapter 2, and man, I always hate that. Bugs me to no end. The girl OC introduced in that conversation is either really badly or really well done -- depending upon whether or not she meant to let that information slip... I don't think she did, which makes it ridiculous for her to have a position of importance.

    Naruto being on standard patrol instead of taking on missions with what we would call a "normal" team is still strange. I'm hoping that at the end of Arc1 (which is apparently the first four chapters), we'll see him move on. I miss him having a team he at least somewhat trusts -- as it is he's keeping most of his abilities from his new team, b/c the one guy is such an ass.

    ...and that's more or less my stream of consciousness while reading the first two chapters.

    The story is indeed worth checking out, though my preliminary rating is going to be just a 3/5. But there's a lot of potential to improve and I've got a lot left to read. I'm probably going to finish the story, or at least get through another few chapters, so once I do that I'll try to post again.
     
  3. Republic

    Republic The Snow Queen –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    May 12, 2012 #3
    I read it so far, and I was pleasantly surprised. I really like this story. Just when I was getting desperate for a good Naruto story, this shows up.

    It's well written, I like the premise, and the OCs are refreshingly well made. I enjoyed reading it, and I think other people will, too.
    It does have a few bits and pieces that need work, however, so it doesn't get full marks. The author seems to have the anime heavily in mind, and that makes me twitch every time I see it.

    So, probably a 3.5/5, rounded up to 4/5

    Edit:     Definitely Library material
     
    Last edited: May 12, 2012
  4. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    May 12, 2012 #4
    Finished it. It's actually at a halfway decent stopping point now (the third arc is complete and fourth hasn't started) for anyone considering picking it up.

    I'd say it's a 2.5/5 rounded up to a 3/5.

    I honestly don't think that it's quite library material. It's not bad to kill some time with, and it's better than a lot of the stuff in Almost Recommended, but it just seems a bit lacking in some respects.
     
  5. Knyght

    Knyght Alchemist

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    May 12, 2012 #5
    Mind if I ask where you think it's lacking? I can guess a few but I rate this story pretty high so I'm curious.
     
  6. Nemrut

    Nemrut The Black Mage ~ Prestige ~

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    May 12, 2012 #6
    I concur with Cheddar, this story isn't really Library material, at least in my opinion. Over the years of reading Naruto fanfiction, I have encountered several types of Naruto's and the one in this story belongs to a category that I fondly call "Angry Fuck Naruto" because of his innate desire to spit out "I am no genius, I worked very hard to get where I am, my life was horrible, no one acknowledges my deeds, I am an orphan, my life was really, really horrible" rants and lectures which quite honestly, piss me off just as much as they bore me.

    He is just unlikable. Sure, he is tamer than other such Naruto's and the story gains points for having no real bashing, especially Sasuke was portrayed in a rather realistic light. I fully expected the author to go the usual "I am an Uchiha, worship me!" way but his character didn't much care for Naruto's promotion, which was the right way of handling it.

    With Naruto's unlikable character comes a problem that is common in this type of stories and that is that the side cast is so much more interesting and everyone overshadows Naruto, the female OC, the Sannin, the summons, Shikamaru. All off them I would rather follow than Naruto at this point.

    Then there is the fact that the story went lazy, imo. At first I thought that the Hokage surviving would have a huge impact since the feeling I got from the summary was that he would train or groom Naruto but apart from one mission, that was irrelevant in the greater scheme of things, and a few tweaks here and there, it followed the canon route. They still had to fetch Tsunade and the Sandaime can't fight any more. I just hope the story will include the Sandaime again in some significant way, otherwise it would have been a waste to keep him alive.

    If it weren't for this thread, I would have dropped this story at chapter 1, Naruto was extremely obnoxious and aggravating there and he only became marginally better, being mostly angry, respectless and antagonizing to pretty much every one he meets and that's just grating. The fights are decent, the dialog is meh and the whole story is meh.

    2.5/5 from me. The story is average, okay if you want to kill some time but nothing great or even good. Just okay.
     
  7. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    May 12, 2012 #7
    I mostly feel it's lacking because... I don't really care. By that I mean that the author doesn't make me care about Naruto. The best parts so far were the bits with Jiraiya and Naruto I thought, but even then the characters feel... well, they're not cardboard cut-outs, this author is better than that, but there's an aspect of that to it. They don't quite feel natural enough.

    The bits with the secret mad scientist are kind of strange and feel a little sloppy. Same goes for Naruto summoning Gamabunta to deal with some two-bit ninja asshat he ran into. It'd have made more sense to just have Naruto summon a mid-level toad. Naruto's new team leader is a little bit too obnoxiously stupid/mean/whatever. I actually like the idea of the guy having it in for Naruto but it got a little ridiculous the sloppy way it was handled.

    This Naruto is more competent than the old one, but having him able to take on all the challenges he runs into takes something away from the character. I also feel like most of the scenes that are supposed to be poignant aren't filled out enough.

    So add all that to the more or less unoriginal plot and it averages out to a... average story. It's worth reading, but unless someone asked me specifically for a story that closely followed canon save that Naruto was a bit more competent I probably wouldn't recommend it to anyone.

    I guess I don't feel it offers me anything that canon doesn't. It's just a little different with a less interesting protagonist and cast.
     
  8. Knyght

    Knyght Alchemist

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    Jul 31, 2013 #8
    *looks at original rating*

    Yeah, that's too generous. I stopped following this one a while back.

    It's an alright story but there's nothing truly interesting there. Naruto becoming a chuunin wasn't handled well but it was a novelty as was seeing some of Konoha's infrastructure, but those are the only things that stand out positively. The OC's are bearable but unnecessary; you could easily take them out of the story and put the pair on the same team as Izumo and Kotetsu.

    Based on where I stopped reading (chapter 13/14), it felt decidedly average so 3/5.