So I've been reading Harry the Hufflepuff, because Lazy Harry is just so funny that you can't help but cheer him on.

Anyway, there's a scene in the first part when Harry talks to Flitwick about Charms which could make his life easier. Flitwick is only too eager to help and happily exclaims "There's a charm for that!" each time Harry asks about something.

Let's stretch this further, almost to the point of absurdity. Let's try to discuss, if you could really use magic to do almost everything during your day.

So, are there spells for:

- Waking up? - There's the Reviving Spell, Rennervate. Perhaps there could be a way of making it timed?

- Washing yourself? - There's Aquagumenti for water and Scourgify for cleaning. There are also probably drying and warming charms.

- Brushing your teeth? - I'm sure that if Harry could make a pineapple dance for his First Year exam, you could charm your toothbrush to clean your teeth for you.

- Getting dressed? - Charming your clothes to react to your presence and put themselves on you isn't out of the realm of possibility in HP magic. Shoelaces that tie themselves also feature.

- Preparing breakfast? - You can't create food from nothing, but you could probably charm your entire kitchen to prepare breakfast for you using the food stored in it.

- Going to school/work? Anywhere else? - Easy, Apparition.

- Studying? - Magic won't learn things for you, but with quills that write for you (and don't make any mistakes), books that can read themselves aloud in the voice of Morgan Freeman and moving pictures in history books, studying is much easier. All the above also helps in an office work.

- Going to sleep? - There's the good, old Stunner.


What other examples you people can think of?

 

I'm sure there must be a butt wiping charm somewhere.

 

Penis enlargement. Third breast implant. A hex to let everyone know what a dickhead your coworker actually is.

 

Scourgify after #2? Tergeo? Vanishing Charm?

Or just Vanish the shit straight from your bowels, then you don't even need to go to the bathroom.

 

Drinking? Aquamenti into my mouth. There is a danger of overdoing it though, so I would either end up with my thirst satisfied, or on my ass swearing.

 

I once entertained myself with the notion of Harry literally transfiguring Malfoy's head to a dick. Or just the top of his head. I bet Snape invented such a spell personally for James Potter.

To be more relevant, I imagine that you can save yourself the trouble of using owls for correspondence with friends, by simply charming two pieces of paper with the Protean charm, so that when one writes on his piece of paper it instantly shows on the other. Hermione could have done it, but she just used it to change the number on galleons, lol. One-track-minded know-it-all.

 

In Hermione's indignant voice: "Apparition doesn't work at Hogwarts, how many times have I told you that?"

 

You can apparate just before Hogwarts gates. Then you can simply use levitation to gracefully drift in the air to your classes without having to use your legs.

 

It'd be even funnier if items started to go wonky near the end of the spell, keeping in mind the whimsical nature of some of the earlier books. Charm a quill to write too long and it'll begin cussing all over your assignment, or begin leaking tears of ink.

Charm your bag to follow you around all day. Two hours later, much like an infant, it'll plonk down in the middle of the corridor and refuse to move.

Spell an item to hold a piece of your soul and it'll become sentient and attempt to corrupt anybody who touches it...wait.

 

Or you get something very much like this:

 

The hell is that?!

 

The Luggage.

Never read any of the Discworld novels?

 

That is the Luggage.

EDIT: Damn ninjas!

 

So...it's a mixture of a Horcrux and a charmed chest? I'm intrigued. I guess that's another series added to my list.

 

40ish books to that series, though not all of them feature Luggage.

 

This strikes me as prime fodder for either an interesting magical malady or a Flitwick educational anecdote.

 

You don't need to eat food. Yes, 'It's impossible to make good food out of nothing! You can Summon it if you know where it is, you can transform it, you can increase the quantity if you've already got some –' (emphasis mine). You only need to eat food once, then you can just increase the quantity of the food in your stomach.
That, or you can use magic to teleport food to a table (Christmas dinner, book 3 I think), so why not directly into your stomach?

 

Because that doesn't sound incredibly risky and dangerous at all.

I mean, yeah, you might accidentally give yourself a second stomach, or teleport a turkey leg directly into your kidney. But if it makes eating easier it's totally worth it.

 

I don't know about you, but I enjoy the taste of food.

 

I bet you could charm food to chew itself in the air before it flies through your mouth.