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Complete Mother of Learning by nobody103 - T - Original Fantasy

Discussion in 'Original Fiction' started by Betosa, Apr 3, 2013.

  1. Heleor

    Heleor EsperJones DLP Supporter

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    He's the brother of Indiana Jones? Well that's a legend to live up to! :p
     
  2. ronin11

    ronin11 First Year

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    And that brother of his is one big Chekhov's gun.
     
  3. Quiddity

    Quiddity Squib ~ Prestige ~

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    :lol:

    The entire story is a massive Chekhov's gun!

    Nochka and her bike. Kirielle jumping on him. The letter Iseba (?) gives him. His brothers vine misadventure. Taliath's dungeong-crawling. And so on.

    That's half the fun about it, personally. That the loop means that an initial detailed look at a n interesting, well-developed fantasy world can then be enriched and built up, layer upon layer.
     
  4. Mock Moniker

    Mock Moniker Professor

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    A good chapter, unfortunately more of a set up of events for the next chapter so not too much interesting happens here. I do always enjoy the interactions with his classmates though.

    I'm very interested to see what happens with Xvim.

    Also very very interested to see what's going to happen with Daimen, but I'm guessing that will have to wait a lot longer. Zorian is definitely going to Koth in a future restart.

    Edit: and ZACH. Holy crap it's been forever since we've seen him.
     
    Last edited: Sep 7, 2015
  5. theronin

    theronin Order Member

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    Good as always, but I'm starting to get really annoyed by the typos and grammar errors. I'm not sure if they are getting worse or I am just getting less patient, but this story would really benefit from a good editing pass. Things like "more easier", "full-proof", and random present tense verbs sprinkled around to name a few I noticed in this last chapter.
     
  6. Invictus

    Invictus Master of Death

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    Fantastic new chapter, I really enjoyed the interactions between Zorian and his classmates, and Kiri ks adorable as always. Now, my favorite thing in this story is seeing Zorian development as a human being, becoming much more likeable and awesome.
     
  7. Jarik

    Jarik Chief Warlock

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    Loving the fact that pretty much all the various classmates that have slowly been explored to the story are interesting. I never find myself thinking "Sigh, not another one". Author has a knack for making a character seem fun within a few short lines of dialogue.

    That interaction with Tinami at the end regarding Raynie was fun. Zorian is basically a harem anime protagonist.
     
  8. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    Not a bad chapter, but in terms of things that I found interesting I guess it wasn't high on my list either. I never got bored during Zorian's foray into the non-Academy world, but this chapter bordered on it. Can't wait to see what happens with Zvim though, and the Raynie interactions were solid. I expected her to be more antagonistic about the shifting rather than accepting that Zorian seemed to know with good grace.
     
  9. Spanks

    Spanks Chief Warlock

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    Good chapter as usual. There are things that I'm really eager to see such as how much of a badass Xvim is, meeting the oldest brother, more cool magic, finally having a face to face with Zach etc.

    Though I think it's time the author bring Fortov into the story for a scene or two. Zorian's sister is an almost constant companion when he goes to school, but we haven't seen his other brother since the early chapters. I know he tries to avoid his brother, but you'd think he'd at least bump into him once in a while during a restart. I'd almost forgotten about the middle brother.

    The author needs to make a list of all of the characters. I tend to lose track of who is who because sometimes Zorian will talk to a student in one restart and then we don't see them for a few restarts. In my mind they are all jumbled together as one vague character.
     
  10. Nemrut

    Nemrut The Black Mage ~ Prestige ~

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    I wouldn't mind such a list either but I don't think it's weird that we haven't seen the middle brother yet. It is rather clear that the two youngest siblings only really like each other in this family and, at best, tolerate the others, if not resent them outright. So, both of them really don't want to have anything to do with the rest, and I would assume the same is true for the others.

    Not to mention, unless Zorian does something weird, his brother won't have reason to seek him/them out, if he knows the sister is coming with him.
     
  11. BTT

    BTT Viol̀e͜n̛t͝ D̶e͡li͡g҉h̛t҉s̀ ~ Prestige ~

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    We have seen Fortov, though.
    In one of the early chapters. I think it was before the loops started, even. His brother brought him someone who'd had something wrong with their face, though I don't recall what it was, specifically.
     
  12. bastur2

    bastur2 DA Member

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    His brother had hurt Iberi (the girl in the train and Zoran's coworker in the library )
     
  13. Aekiel

    Aekiel Angle of Mispeling ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    I remember that scene. Zorian demonstrated his lockpicking technique using shaping there. Used alchemy to work up a cure for some kind of skin malady.
     
  14. Nemrut

    Nemrut The Black Mage ~ Prestige ~

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    Yeah, but since the then, he has avoided the circumstances to make his brother seek him out again, by living outside of the campus. And his brother doesn't care enough to seek him out if that is the case, otherwise, he would have done so until now. That means, it really depends whether or not Zorian does something that brings him onto his radar.
     
  15. Mutton

    Mutton Order Member

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    I kind of want his eldest brother to remain in the background. He's important for establishing Zorian's character in his back story, but he's just too obvious a potential plot hook for me to want to bite
     
  16. Mock Moniker

    Mock Moniker Professor

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    So I think the fact that Red Robes isn't passing any info to the invaders extremely interesting and strange.

    Could it be that after discovering the existence of Zorian and the Aranea that he's been laying low (much as Zorian did)?

    Or has he somehow stopped looping/died?
     
  17. Heleor

    Heleor EsperJones DLP Supporter

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    Or he's found all the things he wanted to figure out for the invasion and is off doing other things.

    If Zorian can choose to wander around and explore the countryside, I'm assuming all the other loopers are actually varying what they're doing to figure things out.
     
  18. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    A list of characters would be convenient, but I haven't had too much trouble keeping them straight. So far there seems to be something about each of them that always comes up to jog my memory when it's needed, so it's not just about memorizing their names.

    I don't want the eldest brother to remain in the background, but I'm not in a rush to find out more about him either. I'll be happy whenever the author decides to finally go there, since it seems that they know what they're doing.

    I'm curious as hell as to why Red Robe stopped doing much with the invasion. Zach's actions indicate that Red Robe has been helping the invaders for a long time, since Zach appeared accustomed to defending against it. So while I do agree that yes, Red Robe might have just gone on to figure out other things (in a manner similar to how Zorian's goals change after a few restarts on one topic), it still seems odd. Unless as someone suggested earlier he was using it to figure out something about Zach, which got screwed with once Zorian and the Aranea mucked about in things? No idea. Curiouser and curiouser.
     
  19. Celestin

    Celestin Dimensional Trunk

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    Finally read it. Twice, because the first time I was skimming through some parts to quicker discover what will happen next.

    It has a good main character that slowly grows in terms of personality and skill. A powerful enemy that is a challenge that even a time travel can't easily overcome. The cast that is full of likable and colorful characters. Overall it's a really great read.

    If I have one complain it's a lacks of description of looks of some characters. I helps if you can visualize them as more than just a name and sometimes color of their hair. My complain is mostly about the students. Other character got a better treatment.

    One thing I'm happy about is that I started to read it when we're about to discover something more about Xvim than his obsession with the shaping exercises. From the beginning I'm expecting that he will have a bigger role in the story than just being an official mentor to the main character and maybe this will give a clue to what it could be if I'm right about it.
     
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2015
  20. Raybomber

    Raybomber Squib

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    In regards to this story, I've been wondering whether the eldest brother has some connection to the cult that's been mentioned trying to resurrect/summon Old ones. The protagonist has mentioned him several times throughout the story and we see references regarding him due to his fame.