Title: In Reflection
Author: vlad_the_inhaler
Rating: T
Genre: Tragedy/Romance (kinda implied)
DLP Category: General
Pairing: Implied H/C
Words: 2,915
Published: December 6, 2008
Status: Complete one-shot
Summary: Harry reflects on the horror of hindsight.

ffnet: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4700369/1/In_Reflection

In the year or so I've been on this site, I've never recommended one of my own works for the library. This one, however, has received excellent reviews so far and quite frankly, I feel it's the best characterization that I've ever done, far and away. It's a pretty original idea as far as plot devices go - but more than that, I feel I've got something library worthy here, something that goes against the mold.

Hopefully, enough of you will feel the same way!


Checked by Minion, June 12, 2013

 

I don't even know who you are anymore. Recommending your own story? That's just so self-aggrandizing, I can barely even spit. But you're right, it is the best work you've done, as far as I can remember. And yes, a fairly original idea, blah blah blah. And sure, as a oneshot, it's far more powerful than a longer story would be.

I'm deducting 5 points for daring to recommend your own story, but I'm adding 5 points for your sheer hubris. Kind of impressive, really. So now I'm back to the baseline and I have to use my original vote.

I guess I'm willing to vote it:
4/5

-J

 

Jeram, your own modesty and humility in that post fills me with self-loathing that I can do nothing more than weep incoherently.

 

I'd give it 3.5/5 as a one-shot, primarily because it doesn't have that sense of finality or ending that I think a one-shot should.

It reads more like the prologue to a multi-chaptered fic. If that's the case, I'd probably rate it higher.

Moar plz.

 

An excellent one-shot. I added it to my favorites. I don't think it needs adding, but it was good. It would be good if it was added to an already started story. I'd give it a 5/5.

 

The idea is original, plausible and interesting. The characterization is interesting. The prose is descriptive but not excessively wordy.

IMHO it's Library-worthy. 4/5

As for self-advertising, well, someone needed to rec this fic. You just happened to be the first to do it.

 

Screw the plot device, as I said, I didn't really like it.

However, I give it a 5/5 for the simply outstanding atmosphere and characterization.

Well done.

 

I don't see the plot suiting an full-length story nearly as well as it does a oneshot. Hermione being under the Imperius?

Still, the dialogue and character interaction, as well as your casting Cho in a light that does not make me regard her with contempt, forces me to rate this 4/5.

Nice work.

 

Yeap, the change in the scenario is not really ground breaking to suit a full length story.

Yes, Hermione under Imperius for a length of time and directly responsible for most of the events is a nice twist but then she has acted like herself all of the time. The only difference from cannon would be Harry getting extremely paranoid towards anybody he gets in contact with. Once more - while workable it is not really a base for a full story.

As a one shot - agree with the rest, very good indeed.

 

Neither do I but, as a short story of up to 4 chapter's could work maybe each chapter showing the different pov of each person involved.

As a one-shot a very emotional story 5/5

 

It's good, but it doesn't quite bare its own weight, I feel. Characterisations, dialogue and atmosphere were top notch, however.

4/5

 

This was definitely different. And while it isn't my usual cup of tea, I enjoyed it. Like others have said, I don't think there's enough here to support a full-length story, but it makes a very nice one-shot, and might make a good two or three chapter short story. Good work vlad. 4/5

 

Very different, very interesting. I like the premise of it, and unlike some of the others here, I think you could have made a full story out of it. With a few other plot ideas, you could really turn this into something interesting.

When you think about it, taking Hermione out of the equation, along with Remus and Sirius and Lucius and Luna and whoever else died in the Department really changes the story. Think about HBP - thoughout most of that book, Hermione was more of an obstacle than a helper, for both Harry and Ron. How different would the stories have been if Hermione wasn't there?

I can bet a few things: given the premise of the story that you set up, Harry could likely get back together with Cho (thus avoiding the Harry/Ginny disaster), develope more of a spine, and seek revenge on those people who truly deserve it - like the Malfoys and the Dark Lord. This Harry has a great potential as a dark/independant Harry, and I strongly encourage you to continue this, at least with another oneshot.

Otherwise, excellent work. 5/5

And don't beat yourself up for self-recommendation - hell, it's a decent way to get some honest criticism for your fic. My fic, "The Night They Remembered", is self-recommeneded, and I've gotten some excellent criticism on it thus far. I can only hope it makes me a better writer in the long run.

 

IMHO; ignore those telling you to continue, this works perfectly as a one-shot. Not only is it incredibly well conceived and characterized, the writing is superb and the atmosphere the story sets is incredible.

5/5

 

Wow, I think that sums it up nicely. 5/5

 

I rescind my post thinking this would be more suited to being a one-shot.

A longer fic would ideally take place in the aftermath of Hermione's betrayal, which Lucullus observed. The fallout is enormously more interesting than reading everything leading up to Luna dying,

Vlad's decision to, as the title says, write everything leading up to the betrayal as reflections, is very sensible. Everything happened already, he just recounts it. Doing otherwise would be applying the revisionist brush over canon and make for pretty dull reading.

There is a great setup, the Harry/Cho not being the least of the virtues. With some plot twists, the characterization derived from the impact of the betrayal, and continued conflict with Voldemort, this has potential as a novel-length fic.

 

I really like the way this is written, but because of the H-bomb, my mind can't really accept it as a one-shot. If it's a one-shot, it's like this deus ex machina is what's driving the story. Could(n't) they have this conversation without such a circumstance (or a less dramatic one)? Or is the idea it has to be her because he can't talk to Hermione? Consider something other than Imperious Hermione (one-shot) or adding more chapters to flesh it out. I really like Harry/Cho, but there's a dearth of fics worth reading.

4/5

 

Sorry, but it is for me only 2/5. Although the idea is interesting and original, the story has outstanding atmosphere and characterization, but the Imperiused Hermione's behaviour does not make any sense.

Unless Lucius knew Voldemort's plan, it would has not been logical to help Harry during Triwizard Tournaments. Furthermore why did Hermione start the DA? Due to the DA Harry learned a plenty of useful spells and became a leader amongst the Rawenclaws, Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors. Since he was an "unstable, lying brat" in the start of the year, it is a very big improvement. Why did not Lucius try to expel Harry from Hogwarts with the help of Hermione. It would has been an easy task. I can follow it for a while...

Nevertheless the most interesting part of it is the Department of Mysteries. Why Hermione has convinced Harry to take a few friends along? It has just complicated Lucius's mission. It would has be much easier, if only Harry and Hermione had gone to there. Furthermore if I were Lucius, I would have ordered Hermione to stun/body-bind/kill etc. Harry. In this case the battle in the DoM would has been a simple matter. Killing Luna did not serve any goal. It did only reveal betrayal of Hermione and gave an opportunity for Harry to survive the encounter.
Finally let me remind, that in this fic Lucius is not an idiot, rather a very good manipulator!

PS. I know, that if Hermione's behaviour had changed, it might have raised suspicion, so her role in the Triwizard and and DA could be partially explained, but not in the events of the DoM!

 

Aside from points mentioned by Felur, I don't see why Lucius cast the curse on Hermione instead of Harry (it was not known that he can throw it off for a year since the casting time)

 

Simple if he tried that Dumbledore would have investigated the whole matter fully including Hermione.