1. DLP Flash Christmas Competition + Writing Marathon 2024!

    Competition topic: Magical New Year!

    Marathon goal? Crank out words!

    Check the marathon thread or competition thread for details.

    Dismiss Notice
  2. Hi there, Guest

    Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Introducing for your Perusing Pleasure

    New Thread Thursday
    +
    Shit Post Sunday

    READ ME
    Dismiss Notice

Escape by malko050987 - K+

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by ip82, Aug 6, 2006.

  1. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2005
    Messages:
    2,921
    Title: Escape
    Author: malko050987
    Genre: Action/Adventure
    Rating: K+
    Status: WIP
    Pairings: Probably H/Tonks
    Suggested category: "Independent Harry"
    Summary: PostOotP AU. Something has changed drastically in the Dursley household. Will Harry and his new friend be able to escape? And what will he do after that?
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3001470/1/

    It's a standard post-OOTP plot where Harry realizes that evil!Dumbledore had ordered Vernon and Petunia to abuse him and Dudley, so they both escape the Private Drive to some island...

    Upside is a solid writing style and detailed execution - Harry's escape isn't done half-arsedly like usual. His new mentor might turn interesting too.

    Downsides are several plot inconsistencies (Dumbledore's motivation for once, as well as his screwup) and one Deus-Ex machina.

    All in all, a decent read for now, but it's still early for the final mark.
    3/5
     
  2. Lord Ravenclaw

    Lord Ravenclaw DLP Overlord Admin DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2005
    Messages:
    4,372
    Location:
    Denver, CO
    Not too bad so far, could use a little improvement.
    3.5/5
     
  3. mcatrage

    mcatrage Raptured to Hell

    Joined:
    May 16, 2006
    Messages:
    198
    Location:
    USA
    kind of short chapters and most of what happened is all build up. The dream and his mentor though are intresting.

    3/5 could move up but gotta see where the author is going.
     
  4. Niffler Lord

    Niffler Lord Headmaster

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2006
    Messages:
    1,137
    Location:
    Sri Lanka
    Not bad. I like the Story Keeper, very original. It doesn't hit on the usual cliches too deeply and the story is well written.

    4/5
     
  5. Myst

    Myst Headmaster

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2006
    Messages:
    1,188
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Glassboro, NJ
    It was decent... I'll give it a 4/5
     
  6. DemonDream

    DemonDream Professor

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2006
    Messages:
    402
    Location:
    Your closet. Please clean it, I can't move.
    The escape was thought out, I like that. It makes more sense than Harry jumping on the bus that every wizard in England uses. I also like the fact that the entire bank thing was glossed over, rather than covering it in excrutiatingly unnecessary detail. I am also happy with the bookstore visit. Far too often, Harry finds every text he could possibly need in various stores without any real difficulty in obtaining them. All in all, 4/5.
     
  7. Kyp's Avenger

    Kyp's Avenger Fourth Year

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2006
    Messages:
    127
    Location:
    USA
    It's okay. I can't tell where it's going, though, it could tank. I don't like Tonks that much, either.

    3.5/5
     
  8. TheIllusiveOne

    TheIllusiveOne Raptured to Hell

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2005
    Messages:
    624
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    I coudn't get past the first chapter. Harry's just way too pathetic.
     
  9. Kai Shek

    Kai Shek Supreme Mugwump

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2006
    Messages:
    1,706
    I got a question for you Illusive. How can you read cannon Harry? Do you have to take long brakes, to keep the frustration down? I notice that you abandon stories fast when Harry is more cannon like, I just can't understand how you read cannon.

    As for myself, I am reading it, but suffering through the beginning. I have read so many stories that start like this, that it is getting increasingly hard to get past.

    2/5 I haven't officially voted yet, as I am waiting for it to progress into something original.
     
  10. TheIllusiveOne

    TheIllusiveOne Raptured to Hell

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2005
    Messages:
    624
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    In the first chapter Harry is more of a bitch then canon Harry. He stood up to Vernon in his third year for fucks sake. Canon doesn't get intimidated all the time like alot of fanon Harrys do.
     
  11. Kai Shek

    Kai Shek Supreme Mugwump

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2006
    Messages:
    1,706
    Ehh, I think your thinking along the line of, "He didn't do anything about his Uncles threats, so he must be a pansy."

    The fact is, Harry, if thinking clearly, knows that there is no point in argueing over something as small as his Uncle spitting everywhere in rage. He waits until there is a real reason, like having his parents insulted before he does anything.

    I would understood if Harry cried, or whined to be let go when his Uncle grabbed him, but not doing anything the instant a threat is shown, doesn't make Harry a pansy.

    I am sorry if I am being a little up front about it, but I just noticed that you seem to give the Pansy Harry title incredibly fast in a story.

    and in no way am I saying that this is a perfect version of cannon, or that this story should be held in the highest respect, just trying to show you that sometimes there is more than meets the eye.
     
    Last edited: Aug 11, 2006
  12. TheIllusiveOne

    TheIllusiveOne Raptured to Hell

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2005
    Messages:
    624
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    I have no doubt that Harry would let Vernon beat him without doing anything.
     
  13. Kai Shek

    Kai Shek Supreme Mugwump

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2006
    Messages:
    1,706
    yes, well, lets hope not, for if he does, or if I get the feeling that he would, I would put the story down as well.
     
  14. Mercenary

    Mercenary Snake Eater

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2006
    Messages:
    1,894
    Location:
    420blazitville
    Eh, it's an ok fic for me. It's one of the better pieces of fiction that I have read, but not the best either. 3/5
     
  15. malko050987

    malko050987 Guest

    Am I allowed to post in a thread about my own fic? If I'm not somebody let me know, so I can edit this or delete it.

    This will not be Harry/Tonks. The last chapters (if anybody got there) should make that clear. It will probably go for Harry/Luna, if I write a ship at all.

    I realize that the first few (most) chapters are lame, and have no excuses. I started writing the fic as an experiment, to see if I could write the sort of fic everybody writes. It kinda got away from me after a few chapters, and I decided to see where it went.

    Anyway, I was really surprised to see my fic here. Got a major ego-boost, too. :)

    Chris
     
  16. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2005
    Messages:
    2,921
    Of course you can.
    Actually, it's highly recomended to show up and fight tooth and nail for the sanctity of your work whenever some spoiled DLP nitpicker deems fit to flame you.

    That said, I'll admit that I've lost interest in this fic as soon as that mysterious mentor-like guy appeared and started the standard bullshit about wandless magic. Might return to it once there are more chapters posted.
     
    Last edited: Sep 6, 2006
  17. malko050987

    malko050987 Guest

    Heh. I'd lose interest in it too, probably :) Altough I have some twists I haven't seen anywhere else. :)

    I did set out to write a cliche fic, and it's mostly for my own benefit. :) Altough feedback is appreciated, and I love looking at the hit counter :D

    Chris
     
Loading...