I just threw this plan together and it needs work, but tell me what you think.


At the end of his 5th year, harry finds a book in the hogwarts library that vaguely describes the process of making a time turner.
Thinking it would be a good project for his summer he transfigures some sand and little hour glasses to use during the summer.
The book mentions the spell that must be on the sand, so he casts it on the sand while he legally can.

At Privet Drive harry experiments with making time turners, seeing how far back they send him and works out how to control it precisely through trial and error.

Decides not to use a time turner to train at Privet Drive for fear of seeing himself and destroying the universe or something.
When harry gets back to hogwarts for his 6th year, he starts using the time turner to learn extra things useful for battle.
He goes to class normally then uses a time turner to go back a few hours and learn spells in the Room of requirement.

When harry teaches himself to apparate he starts to use the time turner to go back, apparate to certain Death Eaters houses and attack them quickly, before going back to hogwarts for his next class.
Harry starts attacking various people under disguise while still atending all of his classes so as to not raise suspiscion.

At a point harry will get injured and will need to go to the other version of himself for medical help so that there is no chance anyone will have a chance of realising there are two of him running around.
Harry realises that seeing himself doesn't damage time in anyway and uses it to his advantage.

After attacking more death eaters sneakily he overhears about a big attack where voldemort will be.
In the fight he is almost killed but uses the time turner to go back so there are two of him fighting voldemort and they manage to overwhelm him and win.



That is the basic plot i came up with in the last hour or two, any opinions on things that just blatantly won't work or are just plain horrible and awkward because any help is welcome.

 

You would need magic to make a time turner, ergo you can't make it during the summer.

You're basically making the time turner as the uber!tool of Death Eater destruction. Its a deus ex machina. Its The Power The Dark Lord Knows Not.

Whilst the fic, if well written, would be readable, I think it wouldn't be particularly good. You're making the time turner too powerful, too useful. Give it downsides, have Harry suffer because of it.

 

Agreed with Mordecai, this makes the Time Turner too powerful. Also, any meddling with time is going to have serious effects on himself and his surroundings; have you ever seen Doctor Who? You should try and express this instead of saying that it doesn't damage time. The smallest changes can have huge effects.

 

This sounds basically like "The Power Of Time", only with Harry making the time turner, instead of finding it.

You still haven't explained why Harry decided to build time turner and train using it. Why not ask McGee for her own timeturner?

 

Harry makes the timeturner far too easily. It's possibly one of the most powerful - and therefore complex - magical devices around. Harry, who is mediochre at magic would have no chance of creating one, and it certainly wouldn't just be one spell on the sand.

Secondly, you've overpowered the timeturners themselves. If they really could be used in this way, then someone else would have done what Harry is doing well before he thought of it. There are, after all, a whole case of them in the Department of Mysteries.

Thirdly, you mention Harry deciding to "train" in the summer, using the time turner. What is his motivation for this? What makes him think that he has a chance against Voldemort, even with more time? Why doesn't he include Dumbledore? Canon!Harry would tell Dumbledore about it. In fact, why doesn't he simply trust in Dumbledore's Deus Ex Machina, as he did in canon? What is he training in, and what resources is he using to do it? What brings Harry to the conclusion that killing DEs and keeping secrets from his friends and the Order is his MO?

 

I see what you mean about making the time turner too powerful, i am not sure how i wold show any weakness or negativity with it though.
The meddling with time having serious consequences kind of makes the whole thing pointless as it revolves around harry basically fucking with a time turner.

I was thinking that harry would be reading a book about magical artefacts and see a passage about constructing time turners and decide to make one. It is weak i know but it is a hell of a lot better than him finding one in his pocket after the DoM.

To answer Taure, this is an idea i have just been playing around with over the last couple of days and havnt had the time to sit down and properly plan and flesh it out, however, until about wednesday i have no plans so will have the time to properly work things out and provide an adequate backstory for why Harry does what he does.

 

He could always remember them and then decide he needs one, leading to a return visit to the DoM, where he steals one.

 

I was also thinking of having Harry, through trial and error, work out that each grain of sand sends him back a minute, and create time turners for different lengths of time, and have him use a 10 minute or so one when battling voldie.

I could also have him writing to the DoMenquiring about time turners and either have him be given one, or find enough out about them to be able to go there and steal a couple of different types

 

OK, I started writing the first chapter this afternoon and I find it ridiculously difficult to write Harry Potter dialogue.
I have been told by a lot of people that I am a good author, but i seem incapable of writing Harry Potter fanfiction, it just feels unnatural and restricted.
So this story probably won't happen now.
Thanks for suggestions and criticism and whatnot anyway.

 

You're welcome, but it's sad to hear you're just giving up. Maybe instead of tackling something with this hefty plot, you could write a few one-shots to get started? I always think fanfic is easier to write than original, as the work of inventing characters and their world is done for you.

 

If dialog is where you're getting bogged down then you might want to consider writing a few practice conversations. Imagine the conversation in your head. Consider the tone of the characters' voices, the cadence that they usually speak with, and even what facial expressions would go with them. Once you've got that mental image of how the conversation plays out write it out.

After the you've gotten the first draft of the conversation down run through it aloud; think of it like a script for a play that you're reading aloud for a friend who's trying out for a part. Hearing the conversation spoken aloud will help you decide if the words you've used fit with the characters.

Now, edit the conversation where you felt the wording, tone, inflections, etc. didn't sound right. Repeat the vocal process along with this step until you can imagine the characters speaking what you've written.

Lastly, go back and fill in the conversational text with description about the tone, facial or body language, etc. Read it all aloud and consider everything as a whole. Once you can do that and are satisfied that it fits with the story and the characters move on to a different type of scene.

Start with a simple conversation about homework or some mundane topic. Then try an argument, a rant, etc. etc. Always start with the basics and then move on to the harder types of conversation.

The last bit of advice I can offer is not to allow the conversation to dictate your story. Write the story and if you are having trouble with the conversational portions just leave blanks with notes like <insert Sirius & Harry convo here> or <Ron and Harry fight>. Once you've gotten the basics of the scene written then you can go back and add the conversations. Once those are in you reread the entire scene and make adjustments as needed.

These are just some steps that have worked for me in the past and hopefully can help you get over the block you've encountered.

 

Admittedly writing dialogue has been a problem for me in my writing for a while, I can write much more freely when simply describing what is happening.
However, the dialogue in fan fiction seems to be even more troublesome as there are pre determined characterisations that I have to follow lest it not make any sense.

I guess the whole idea of fan fiction doesn't suit how I write, the restrictions set in place by already developed themes and characters almost stifle me.

 

It's a valid problem that's for sure. It's always far easier to write something original than to conform to an existing outline. I think that's one of the main reasons that the top fan fiction authors have such huge followings.

You might find that you enjoy helping others as a Beta reader if you've given up on writing your own stories. A talented writer can still be a big help even if they can't fit their own style into an existing fandom.

 

I have never really gotten into following authors, I have spent the last few years going from fic to fic never really appreciating the work that actually goes into them.
This has definitely made me realise how much effort the authors of the fics i have read religiously have gone to though.

I would offer up my services as a beta reader, but i wouldn't know where to start or how annoyingly pedantic to be. Also, I would constantly change American spellings or specific words to English, which I am sure would piss off some people.

 

If you want to be a beta, go to Perfect Imagination and take an exam. That'll let you know if you're good enough, and you'll also get loads of fics to beta. You can specify how much of an ass you are when editing, too, so people know what they're getting into. You can also specify that you're a "Brit-picker", I think the term is. It's a good site.

 

If I were to write this, Harry would definitely suffer consequences. Imagine if you will that Harry's tinkering yielded *extremly* accelerated aging. After a few weeks he's in his mid twenties, by christmas he's forty, when he finally manages to defeat Voldemort he's in his seventies (same age as Volde perhaps, "marked as his equal" in every way?", and so on...

Or perhaps he breaks the time turner, showering himself in the sand. Now he's like T.H. White's Merlyn, living backwards through time. He only knows a fight is coming up because he gradually develops injuries, gets discharged from the hospital, wakes up from unconsciousness, then see's himself killing Voldemort, fighting Death Eaters, watching friends getting up from being killed, etc... Deaths and goodbye's mean nothing but the first time he meets someone is a tear jerking occasion.

As for dialogue writing, try talking to yourself. I know it sounds crazy but there's no real danger so long as your friends/family don't catch you. Perhaps a mirror will help. That's how I got started, now it's all internal but I'm still talking to myself.

 

I think the living backwards through time would be an excellent base for a fic. it would take a great author, but I would love to read something like it.