Hi, I was just wondering if you'd give me a little advice on the fanfiction im currently thinking about.

Right well obviously I want Harry to be independant. Also in the first chapter he discovers that Dumbledore has been manipulating Ron and Ginny to watch him through a poorly disguised promise of glory etc. Harry leaves the Dursley house and travels to London under muggle means. He tries the whole undercover thing by buying a hair dye, a muggle one, and dyes his hair peroxide blonde with the help of a sink and hand drier. Thats hopefully gonna be quite funny. The point im really trying to get to is that most people when they are trying to hide from the world don't just wave a wand and smile confidently knowing they are hidden. Harry basically gets his money under control again, invests some of it, gets a load of books, new muggle and simple wozarding clothes. Not those things that repel everything from a bee to the apocalypse. He rents a small flat somewhere in london, gets training both physically and magically. Goes out and gets damn drunk, has sex basically acts like a normal teenage lad. I haven't really thought any further on Harry's part of the plot.

Another facet of this story I would like to incorporate would be Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger sub-plots. Draco has been under a compulsion spell since he was a toddler, due to his father's paranoia of his heir taking his place as the Dark Lord's right hand. His magic and freedom bound he is only free to think clearly when his father is subjected to torture. After his mother dies of cancer, his father falls deeper into insanity and Draco manages to grasp his way out of the spell. In turn he murders his father and escapes to go into hiding in the muggle world for a while.

Somewhere else in the country Hermione's parents are involved in a fatal car accident. Organising the funeral she decides to become the primary guardian of her little brother. They move not to london but another wizarding capital. she sets up a small home and begins to form links with other wizards and witches around the world. She continues to correspond with Ron etc. but when Harry owls her she aligns with him and starts to build a force for the war.

Any tips or ideas? The main motivation for writing this fic is that I realised that most fic on the web only have one side of the story to it. Many don't take into account the human cost of living and all the different variables that live involves. In my fic hopefully not everyone will jump to attention the second Harry calls. Harry will not be pussyfooting around everyone in the hope that they will join him. I wanted Hermione to move to another city because I realised that Diagon Alley is not the only shopping or residential district in the whole of the UK and Ireland. I am a bit of a fangirl with Draco, I love how much of a bastard he is. In this plot I wanted him to remain the way he was but with a reason to some of his thick actions.

 

Yes, well...

Don't forget to have Harry buy his magical trunk and collect his free time-turner.

 

Fatal I must say that this plot bunny is absolute shit. The reason for that is simple. It has been done to death.

Or is this part of some elaborate plan to get neg rep?

 

Interesting...

It would be a nice parody. Make sure he bongs the sexy shopkeeper too. And kills voldemart with the 'power of love' but is crushed to death by a hug from a over-zealous Gin-Gin.

Ps. Just about every parody parodizes itself.

 

The Harry's part sounds like your standard Indy!Harry beginning - an escape, Gringotts, betrayals, shopping, etc...

Of course there's only so many ways you can get Harry from point A (weak and coped up at the Dursleys) to point B (strong and independent). That's why you must improvise a bit and see if you can blunt the trauma of these necessary evils.

One thing you can do to avoid boredom is try and put a fresh spin on the cliches you know you must use. The other (and much easier one) is to simply skip the mandatory parts and start writing from the point where your real plot starts (Harry partying and studying).

For example, you can start the fic with an Order meeting where Dumbledore puts a summary of Harry's escape and their search efforts since then. Then you shift to Harry and are free to write whatever you wish with him, without going through the entire escape checklist.

As for Malfoy's part, I'm not sure what's the point of ruining his already developed character. You might as well use an OC or another canon character for your purposes, whatever they are (Blaise, Nott...). It doesn't make sense that Narcissa would die of cancer - I'm sure wizards would have some sort of cure for that. Also, how can Lucius go crazy and abuse Malfoy, when he'll be in Azkaban? In general, this whole idea with redeemed!Draco needs some more work.

 

Meh, it's my belief that if Albus was actually a manipulative bastard like most of the Indy! Harry stories try to paint, there would be no possible way Harry could escape his grasp without outside help (in from of outsiders from the HP world, or the author being blatantly AU by making Harry much smarter/more intelligent but then, Dumbledore would counter that as well.)

Anyways, topic starter, the reason why the plot you want to follow is "standard" is because most of the author's out there suck.

 

hmm thanks ip82. I know it's been done to death, but I just wanted to see if I could get through it without playing too many of the cliches. He will not buy a super-duper trunk or anything, he won't be described as weak and pathetic. I hate Ginny, the power of love (why not the power of a huge gun instead?). I really don't want him to be named the Head of a whole load of houses, or have all his assets read out in a fabulously long and indulgent list. I don't think he'll go back to Hogwarts either. The point of me posting my plot-bunny here was for advice on how not to make it entirely cliched and into a maybe a popcorn fanfiction.

 

So, before it even begins, you set your eyes at mediocrity?

 

Basically because I haven't written or posted anything in about two years, I'm plain not used to writing fanfiction anymore and I don't think it would be productive to get myself into a very and complicated plot when all I would be doing is butchering it. I might as well try something thats already been butchered to hell and try and make it better.

 

I guess I was a bit harsh on you fatal.

One thing I can suggest is that for Harry to become the head of his family he has to undergo a task set by one of his ancestors. Said ancestor only wanted people who were worthy to become the head of the family. You could have other old wizarding families have similar tasks. Said task should be very dangerous and Harry should barely complete the task. Be creative and your story will be fine.

 

Well damn. So much for an indy!Harry fic. Sheesh.

Oh, and for some reason your mentioning a huge gun gave me an awesome mental image of Harry conjuring the main deck guns of a battleship in the middle of a duel with Voldemort. It was an image that made me laugh and will keep me amused for at least twenty minutes. Well done!

 

thanks guys well I've written a few chapters but I have yet to re-draft them. The gun thing made me laugh too, although knowing my brother he would probably involve something like paintballs. I like your idea digitalstorm, however it would be difficult to create a task that wasn't heavily cliched. :s

 

Hmm... this doesn't sound like you have a story to tell yet. You just have a sort of fic you want to see. Which makes the idea you have chapters already done, kinda scary. Lots of clichés, in addition to themes that would be of little interest to me and most of DLP. I mean you admit "I haven't really thought any further on Harry's part of the plot." You've just turned him into the sort of rebellious little teenager you want to be. Bleached hair, living on his own, active sex life, drinking, etc.

And you also head down the fangirl road with Draco. I mean I know I despise the ignorant twit as much as anyone, but if you want to add depth to his character do it in a new way. Or something.

Humanizing and turning Hermione into big sister raising her brother on her own away from others is something I've not seen a ton of, but I guess I just don't see the point.

You have no plot here. You've just decided on how you want to fangirl-asize (fangirl-arize?) your three main characters. As for my opinion on them, none of the three are of interest to me. And you're going about this in the wrong direction. Figure out a plot to the story first, and then decide how to fangirl-asize characters to fit that plot. Picking the characters before you know what they're doing will never lead to anything interesting.

I suppose you could just have this as sort of three separate little humanized stories about what Harry's doing, what Hermione's doing, and what Draco's doing. But it'd probably be an angst-filled drama character piece, not an "Independent Harry" fic.

 

It's kinda hard you know to tell you guys the enitre plot line I have thought of through posts, I only wanted advice on the bassis of the plot rather than that of the actual plot. Also I wasn't really planning on Harry being angsty, it really annoys me when he is a whiney git.

 

Firstly I wanted to get the fact that I am extremely surprised you would even post this on DLP out of the way. I assure you that if you write the story the way your summary suggested then it would be better to just not post it on this site at least as I don't think you will get a great reception. Of course, you can post it if you want to but I'm really not sure you will get anything but neg rep even if it is extremely good. The type of cliches you are mentioning like brainwashed!Malfoy, WeSpyedOnYou!Ron and Gin-gin, and SuperShoppingTrip!Harry are the type that will get you laughed at.

Now that I got that out of the way I can actually try to help you with the plot. Why do you want to make this an Indy!Manipulated!Betrayed!Harry story when your main focus seems to be on trying to write a rather angsty 'real life' kind of fic. I'm seeing a major split in ideas here and I don't know how it's going to work.

I seriously see no reason for adding Harry in at all as you really don't seem to want to use him much besides to add in the 'war' part. You could always make this years after the war. Hermione's parents had another kid and they die in a car accident. Hermione takes her younger brother and moves into London. There she meets Draco who has escaped his crazy father and they fall in wuv. If you want a 'real life', humanitarian type fic and you are a Hermione and Malfoy fan than just do this. The Indy!Harry thing seems pointless when your main focus is on other plot ideas. You will get no better reception than you would making an Indy!Harry stories using every cliche in the book but tons of other Malfoy lovers will love it.