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View Full Version : [Abandoned] Who I Am by TwinTrouble - T - Naruto


Trig
06-07-2010, 05:33 PM
Title: Who I Am
Author: TwinTrouble
Rating: Teen
Pairing: No pairing, Naruto and Sasuke are best friends, nothing more
Chapters: 16
Words: 118,418
Updated: January 10, 2011
Published: February 13, 2009
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4860864/1/Who_I_Am

Summary: Naruto has been keeping dangerous secrets for years. A long-forgotten dream that just won't die, an ally he shouldn't know and a friend no one thought he had are what keep him going. Graduating is the least of his problems…

The main story element is revealed at the end of the first chapter so I'm not going to spoil anything, but the characterization and descriptions in this fic are simply amazing. I've read up to chapter 5 and I'm pretty much hooked.

That, and I'm a sucker for 1st person fics.

Edit: Seriously forgot the link...


Checked: June 8, 2012

Narf
06-08-2010, 03:18 AM
Does Naruto ever get un-blinded or something? It's hard to immerse myself in the story when the main character is blind. <_<

Good writing so far, I've not read it all yet, but a 5/5 for now.

Iztiak
06-08-2010, 04:08 PM
Don't read these spoilers until you read the story. >_>

I suppose it's perspective. I enjoyed the difference. No other stories have ever done this idea well. And immersion isn't really an issue, for me. Possibly because my eyesight is bad enough to be able to empathize with people who can't see at all. /: At least a little.

I found it excellent. 5/5

Custer
06-09-2010, 12:09 AM
I loved this fic, though after eleven chapters, it still felt too short. The author is excellent at writing through Naruto's eyes. In fact, after reading I have to remember that I'm not blind, Naruto is because I get so immersed in the character. I kinda dislike that Naruto isn't strong, but it's understandable. I really hope that he gets unblinded to some degree, since it handicaps him so damn much. Gaara is gonna rape him at this point.

4.5/5 since it's great, but isn't perfect yet.

DarkAizen
06-09-2010, 04:05 PM
I don't like it. It's filled with cliches.

The whole Naruto can escape from ANBU thing is annoying, but the fact that they figured out the bell test + that Naruto seems to have the answer to anything. Sasuke is really out of character. The main character is blind but that doesn't matter 'cause he has the Daredevil hearing.

What else? ... Naruto seems to perform better than Time and Again Naruto and he already been through these situations once.

2/5 for the writing and adequate dialog.

Magus
06-09-2010, 04:06 PM
This is cool. 4/5 so far, but that's because I too became a bit disappointed at the fact that Naruto's other senses don't really seem to be able to fully compensate for his blindness in a fight (I was expecting some Daredevil shit here).

So here's my prediction, if Naruto and Sauke stay friends throughout the whole of their genin years and Sasuke doesn't go off with Orochimaru etc, I'm guessing Sasuke will donate an eye to Naruto, giving him temporary vision when he needs it. This is my guess at least.

Narf
06-09-2010, 04:13 PM
Or maybe Itachi will give him his eyes instead of giving them to Sasuke... unlike Kakashi, Naruto has a shitton of chakra so he won't run out quite as fast as Kakashi.

I gotta say, that would be pretty awesome.

Maki
06-10-2010, 08:28 PM
This is SHIT. The only good bit was naruto's problem, other than that, it is pure trash

1/5

not to mention the subtle slash vibe im getting

edit: 2-3/5 for later chapters. The style aint that great. Bin it.
edit2: okay, latter few chaps gets worse. Pure rehash of canon with problem!naruto. The authors an aussie.. lol.

back to 1.5/5

Narf
06-10-2010, 09:09 PM
Uh huh. If you have that strong of an opinion, you might want to elaborate on why you think it's shit.

Custer
06-10-2010, 09:54 PM
1/5 not to mention the subtle slash vibe im getting

edit: 2-3/5 for later chapters. The style aint that great. Bin it.

Ok, before we get started, I want it to be noted that this IS NOT AND NEVER WILL BE A SASUNARU.

NOT a SasuNaru. Never will be, either. Read without fear.

You make the literate world weep.

Sin Saiori
06-11-2010, 05:09 PM
I second, third, and fourth this recommendation. 5/5 for being an awesome story.

Disability fics are all well and good, but far too many times do I read stories where authors write the character as if they don't have the disability; things like a character being blind, but the character 'seeing' something. This story captures the characterization perfectly. The fact that Naruto wasn't born blind helps with the characterization somewhat (and probably makes it easier to write, since Sasuke doesn't have to describe what colors look like to a blind kid).

CareOtters
06-12-2010, 12:34 PM
This is cool. 4/5 so far, but that's because I too became a bit disappointed at the fact that Naruto's other senses don't really seem to be able to fully compensate for his blindness in a fight (I was expecting some Daredevil shit here).

This.

I remember seeing Kakashi and Zabuza fighting in the anime blinded totally by mist (long time since I saw it, so I might be wrong), proving that skilled enough ninja can fight at a high level without their sight.

I'd like to see some more of this, but maybe the author's just trying not to make Naruto too overpowered just yet.

4/5 so far, and closer to 5 than 3.

Aakunen
06-13-2010, 06:30 AM
It's a solid story but it desperately needs to stop rehashing canon with blind Naruto - point of divergence is pretty obvious (Sasuke doesn't leave the village), but it's taking forever to get there, even though Naruto's narrative makes things less boring than usual.

I'm a little wary of the fact that Naruto can speak to the Kyuubi without going into the seal, and that Naruto seems to be on Karin's level when it comes to sensing chakra, but so far those are only minor annoyances. On the other hand, I really liked fight scenes, and interactions between members of the Team 7.

4/5, probably will upgrade to 5/5 when the story finally diverges from canon.

GiantMonkeyMan
06-13-2010, 06:14 PM
Meh, it's alright. 2-3/5

The story is alright and I enjoy the narrative tone/style but there are parts which really fucking annoy me. Like the usage of 'teme' and 'dobe' every three lines. It's ok to use them once in a while but the constant usage without any change in pronoun grates on me.

And things like this:

"My name is Hatake Kakashi. Hm… well… likes and dislikes… eh, I don't feel like telling you those. My dream for the future… hm, never really thought about it. Hobbies… well, I have lots of hobbies. Your turn!"

Well, that was helpful, I thought, frowning slightly. He gave away a lot more than he let on, and I don't think he meant to… secretive guy… doesn't like to think about the future, probably lives in the past a bit, better keep an eye out for that… his likes and dislikes… I don't think they're something children should be privy to, judging from his amused tone there… hobbies… man, I think he really does have a lot of hobbies. Wonder what they are?


Just how the fuck does Naruto analyse Kakashi in all of three seconds? 'Probably lives in the past' my ass. Even Naruto-ninja, who spend most of their time posturing to each other before exploding something, learn by necessity to lie and cheat; hence the 1st part of the chuunin exam. Unlike canon-Naruto or Sasuke, who parade their emotions openly, Kakashi strikes me as a person who can keep his tone of voice deceptively bored and hides things very well.

Even if this version of Naruto has been blind for most his life and learnt through experience to gauge the voices of those around him, there is a difference between telling if Mizuki is lying outright (which Naruto wasn't even sure about, just noticing something strange about his voice) and being able to ascertain Kakashi's likes/dislikes being something adult. It just seems that, like Daredevil and a lot of comic book characters, the scope of his abilities can lie anywhere on the scale in order to provide the writer with a way to propel the plot or give Naruto a ridiculously insightful observation.

Kari Black
06-23-2010, 01:39 AM
I really enjoyed this. I'm a big fan of Sasuke and Naruto friendship fics (when they're done well, and this is), and as people have mentioned, I like the fact that he is actually disabled for once in a disabled fic. And as for the people who commented that if Kakashi and Zabuza could fight blind, Naruto should be able to as well...Kakashi and Zabuza have years of shinobi experience on Naruto. The way I see it, Naruto is a rookie genin at the moment so he's just not as good a fighter as them-blind or otherwise. By the time he's a jounin, yeah he will probably be able to fight as well as them blind (probably better even since he always has to fight blind).

And I hope Sasuke does donate an eye to Naruto as a way to get around the whole no-blind-shinobi thing mentioned in the latest chapter. That'd' be awesome-you'd have three sharingan users on one team, and all of them with only one eye each.

4/5 and 5/5 if the sharingan thing happens.

Fiat
06-23-2010, 02:28 AM
Just how the fuck does Naruto analyse Kakashi in all of three seconds? 'Probably lives in the past' my ass. Even Naruto-ninja, who spend most of their time posturing to each other before exploding something, learn by necessity to lie and cheat; hence the 1st part of the chuunin exam. Unlike canon-Naruto or Sasuke, who parade their emotions openly, Kakashi strikes me as a person who can keep his tone of voice deceptively bored and hides things very well.Pretty sure that he picked that up from what Kakashi said, not his tone of voice. My dream for the future… hm, never really thought about it.Kind of indicates a lack of thought towards the future. The alternative to looking foreward to the future is living in the past. It's an uncharacteristically intelligent analysis, but it's not some daredevil-like superpower.

Custer
06-23-2010, 08:52 AM
New update GET! (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4860864/12/)

Aakunen
06-23-2010, 01:26 PM
I read the latest chapter and it seems that Kabuto smells like snakes, huh? Fail.

3/5

Sin Saiori
06-23-2010, 03:34 PM
It stands to reason that spending that much time around someone will probably rub off some of the scent. Being in such close proximity of someone who smells so strongly of snakes, and possibly being experimented on by said person only increases the chances of that happening.

I liked this chapter.
Sakura's reaction to Naruto's injuries was well written, presenting her embarrassment at her own assumed inconsideratation. Also, it was interesting to see how just Sasuke's delayed waking up affected what could have happened. The fact that he woke up and didn't have someone to go crazy on could potentially change the entire scenario.

5/5 from me.

Aakunen
06-23-2010, 05:50 PM
Yes, and Naruto is the only one around to notice that. In the entire village full of ninjas with the sense of smell almost as good/better than the average Inuzuka, Naruto will be the only one to notice.

Also, apparently Kabuto is so bad as a spy, that he seems to reveal his real skills to gennin without any reason. Even if the fact that he was a spy was pretty obvious since his introduction, the moment he revealed his skills, during the fight with Tsunade, I was really surprised. Seems extremely out of character for him.

There is also a matter that Naruto can judge who is a jounin and who isn't thanks to feeling their chakra (how does that even work?) which reeks of the DBZ and power levels.

IMHO, the story is still not bad, but gets annoying to get through at times.

Custer
08-13-2010, 12:37 AM
Updated (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4860864/13/), finally.

Trig
09-10-2010, 09:58 PM
Updated.

I'm torn about this new chapter.
I like how everybody tries to accommodate Naruto because of his 'recent' blindness. The reactions and interactions of all characters seem very genuine which is a major bonus point for this fic, his goes hand in hand with how well his disability is portrayed.

-BUT-

I can't believe that even after this chapter nobody figured Naruto's secret out. In the beginning it was still believable, but now it's simply implausible.

And the second thing that I really dislike is how slow the story is progressing. Everything builds up towards the upcoming divergence, at this point Sasuke would never leave Konoha. That's when the fic would become interesting again, but at the rate the story is progressing...


Does anyone else like these Memos as much as I do? The author isn't wasting everyone's time by writing whole scenes for a single funny line, I think it's a quite interesting solution.

Kari Black
09-10-2010, 10:21 PM
I really enjoy the memos too--it adds a bit of humor while letting us know what's going on with the other instructors/teams/whatever without dragging the story out.

And it really is getting pretty ridiculous how no one has figured it out yet. I've been banging my head against the keyboard. If it doesn't happen within the next two chapters, I may have to shoot myself. At the very least Kakashi should have noticed. I mean seriously, he has at least some experience adjusting to loss of sight so he should know that Naruto wouldn't be able to adjust this quickly. It's totally ridiculous.

Narf
09-10-2010, 10:46 PM
Meh, I don't think it's implausible. He's been stuck in the hospital most of the time. The one thing that tipped Kakashi off was Naruto reading -- other than that Naruto hasn't really done anything suspicious.

The story is moving extremely slow though, I wish the author would speed it up.

One thing that keeps bothering me during this whole arc is that in their world, it is entirely possible to take someone elses eyes and integrate them into a different body, as seen with Kakashi's Sharingan and Obito. That operation was done on the field as well, by a Chuunin no less. Sarutobi knows how important Naruto's life as a ninja is, so why wouldn't he just order some prisoner get his eyes taken out and given to Naruto?

I mean, when no one except Sasuke knew he was blind, that could fly, but not when everyone knows it.

Howdy
09-11-2010, 03:01 AM
So...

How does Naruto use a henge if he doesn't know what anyone looks like?

Edit 1:

Well, I just finished chapter 5 and I'm not sure how I feel about this. Naruto and Sasuke are oddly clingy to each other, which I guess is sort of okay. Definitely a change from their normal portrayals in fanfiction.

I suppose my biggest complaint is that pretty much all of the conflict so far in the story is based on the fact that nobody knows that Naruto is blind and he is unwilling to tell anyone. I'm not sure why this is, because given that this is the ninja world there are about a thousand ways to help Naruto deal with his disability - from teaching him jutsu to help him "see" (we know that there are ninja in canon who are blind) to simply giving him an eye transplant (which seems to be the "in" fashion of the day). I can't see Sarutobi not getting Naruto the help he needs.

Perhaps it is explained later, but I'm a bit confused about how Naruto was blinded to begin with. It's hinted that he was attacked by someone, but if that's so then how is it that nobody found out about the attack (and the accompanied wounding) except for Sasuke, who apparently didn't tell anyone either (including his parents, who were still alive, or Itachi). But really, a 5 year old kid keeps this from everyone? Really?

Finally, I can't wrap my head around the fact that no one has noticed that Naruto is blind. Nevermind all of the instructors at the academy. I can't figure out how Kakashi hasn't noticed this. The whole blindfolded mission should have been a dead giveaway (and I was sure when I first read it that it was a test by Kakashi to confirm his suspicions, since there's literally no way that Team 7 would have been successful on that mission if one of them weren't blind), but no, the author continues to drag it out.

Now I'm just waiting for Kakashi's response when he finally does figure out that Naruto is blind. I'm thinking anywhere from "how fucking stupid are you not telling your team and commander that you can't see" to "oh, well we can get that fixed right up for you. Too bad you didn't tell anyone 8 years ago, lol."

I'm also a bit weirded out by the whole sketching Kakashi's team perfectly despite never seeing them. I don't even know what to think of that other than the author might be giving Naruto some crazy new power. Huh.

Edit 2:

I am finding myself annoyed that the author feels the need to info dump basic Naruto trivia on me time and time again while also getting things like the fact that they had to cross the ocean, not a lake, to get to Wave wrong. I can reread the manga for the thousandth time if I want to fact check, but if you're going to throw it in my face then at least be consistent and correct.

Edit 3:

Finished reading the 14 chapters posted, which already says a lot about the quality of this story. Haven't done that in a long time. Having said that, I find I have a sort of love/hate relationship with this story. The idea is novel and the author does a good job of writing a blind Naruto. The characterizations seem pretty good, and I enjoy this version of Sasuke.

Now to the bad. I don't understand the author's reasoning for keeping Naruto's secret so long. I think what it boils down to Naruto and Sasuke almost completely distancing from capable adults in their lives. Sarutobi seems to be nowhere to be found, so I assume he doesn't have as close a relationship with Naruto as he does in canon. I can somewhat understand Naruto's reluctance to reveal his blindness before become a genin since his fears that he might not be allowed to attend/graduate from the academy are not entirely unfounded. However, once he makes it on to Kakashi's team and gains a capable and knowledgeable adult figure in his life, I don't see a need for him to keep up the facade of having sight. In fact it is dangerous to himself and others. The seeming lack of trust in adults isn't only limited to his blindness either. He knows full well that Orochimaru placed a seal on him yet he says nothing, which I find ridiculous. Especially since Sarutobi could unseal it in about 3 seconds if he knew there was an issue.

Why doesn't Naruto explain that he's been blind nearly nine years after he gets his eyes cut out? It could only support his claims that he's not crippled. There is absolutely no reason not to come out with the truth at this point.

Finally, I don't think that Naruto's characterization is consistent. He's portrayed as brash and impulsive much like canon in many ways with a significantly better mind on him. That's 95% of the time. The other 5% of the time he's unnecessarily clingy or having a panic attack. Seriously, he should not be falling to pieces out of nowhere after choosing all those years ago to become a ninja (why?) and then still have such crippling episodes. If Naruto were serious about becoming a ninja then that sort of issue should have been resolved by now. I don't want to read a story about Naruto blowing up half a forest fighting Orochimaru and getting his eyes cut out like it's no big thing who then turns into a sniveling mess just because Kabuto of all people smells like snakes. snakessnakessnakes. God, how terrifying.

So basically Naruto is being held captive in a hospital hopped up on meds for no reason other than he doesn't want to tell people how exceptionally competent he is even with his disability.

I am frustrated.

Censure
09-11-2010, 03:44 PM
It's definitely frustrating, and I think/hope that it's SUPPOSED to be. Naruto has a complex about trusting adults in this story, and it's making him act in a stupid way. If I read it as a flaw in the character rather than the author presenting it as the logical and correct choice, then it becomes a lot more palatable for me.

His reasons for not telling are being systematically eliminated, so I'll give the author credit and assume that it's leading up to the big reveal. If it doesn't, then yeah, that's just going to be annoying.

Fenraellis
09-11-2010, 06:43 PM
An excellent analysis, Howdy, and quite honestly rather similar to what my own thoughts are.

Although I'll quickly point out that I'm pretty sure the drawing of Kakashi's teammates was supposed to be reflective of his 'ink-reading' skills somehow from when he stole a bunch of stuff during the Bell Test. Among the stolen objects was a picture of Kakashi's team if I remember right.

As for my numerical review, I'll give it a wavering four out of five. We'll see what happens in upcoming chapters, hopefully sooner rather than later, I suppose, eh?

Kari Black
09-11-2010, 07:09 PM
It hasn't been fully revealed how he was blinded. However from what I remember (I went and checked--it's in Ch.7), Sasuke didn't manage to keep it from everyone. Itachi knew, and taught them how to hide it. Which puts the whole "not trusting the adults" thing into better perspective (even if Itachi wasn't exactly an adult--close enough) after the clan massacre. Someone they they trusted, and who knew had betrayed them before so they would be even more skittish. It does make why they aren't telling a little more palatable. However, Kakashi really should have worked it out by now--he's being ridiculously dense. I'm more frustrated with the people around them than the boys.

Howdy
09-12-2010, 03:34 AM
It hasn't been fully revealed how he was blinded. However from what I remember (I went and checked--it's in Ch.7), Sasuke didn't manage to keep it from everyone. Itachi knew, and taught them how to hide it. Which puts the whole "not trusting the adults" thing into better perspective (even if Itachi wasn't exactly an adult--close enough) after the clan massacre. Someone they they trusted, and who knew had betrayed them before so they would be even more skittish. It does make why they aren't telling a little more palatable. However, Kakashi really should have worked it out by now--he's being ridiculously dense. I'm more frustrated with the people around them than the boys.

It seems to me that Itachi did Naruto a horrible disservice putting ideas in Naruto's head of becoming a great ninja and never revealing to anyone that the kid was disabled, nor helping him remedy it in any other way than showing him how to hide his blindness.

Kari Black
09-12-2010, 03:54 AM
Yeah, I can see your point although I didn't really think of it like that before. We don't know what was going on in Itachi's head at that point either...

Howdy
09-12-2010, 04:02 AM
Yeah, I can see your point although I didn't really think of it like that before. We don't know what was going on in Itachi's head at that point either...

Well he certainly had ample opportunity to spill Naruto's secret to powerful and sympathetic characters, but didn't. Simply dropping that bomb on Sarutobi after begging Sasuke's life would have probably been enough to get Naruto some help.

Meh, it is what it is.

Onii
09-14-2010, 02:29 PM
I gotta say i love the use of memos in this fic. lol

Jolina
09-15-2010, 07:31 AM
5/5

I have to agree the memos are great...