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WIP Dominion by Materia-Blade - M - Worm

Discussion in 'Worm' started by Klackerz, May 23, 2015.

  1. Klackerz

    Klackerz Bridgeburner

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    Title: Dominion
    Author: Materia-Blade
    Rating: M
    Genre: Action/Drama/Thriller
    Status: WIP
    Fandom: Worm
    Pairings: none
    Summary: Taylor triggered in the locker with the ability to control every person within fifty yards. Her life rapidly spirals out of control, as various parties play games with her life. She quickly realizes that as long as she can't have peace in her own world, then she will have to establish her own dominion.
    Link: Spacebattles

    Dominion is a new Worm Fic by Materia Blade which is pretty good.

    Retrieved and converted from Almost Recc'd. - Yak
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 7, 2015
  2. Dreamweaver Mirar

    Dreamweaver Mirar Groundskeeper DLP Supporter

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    Only a couple of chapters and knowing Materia it won't be updated often, but yeah, it's been pretty intriguing so far.
     
  3. Cxjenious

    Cxjenious Supreme Mugwump

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    Seconded. It's very intriguing. And then there's the whole S9 thing. You have to wonder what sort of awfulness he means to put Taylor through for her to actually willingly join them.
     
  4. Thinker6

    Thinker6 First Year

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    I liked it so far. I wrote a story where a S9!Khepri appeared for a chapter, but his take on the premise is more interesting for spinning a full story. I'm interested to see where it goes from here!

    As a coincidence, I've been writing a 'canon hero tempted to join the S9' story of my own for a while now, but only just started posting it. I'm glad no one's accused me of copycatting him. It's an experiment with writing a short, complete story with alternate endings depending on the character's choices. If you don't mind the blatant self-linking, here's the link:

    Glory Girl Returns (AO3, Spacebattles)

    Victoria Dallon's family betrayed her and locked her in the asylum, but she never gave up hope. Now an attack by the Slaughterhouse Nine gives her a chance to escape. Victoria must fight with words and wits to win her freedom...and fight to save her soul, as well. Will Glory Girl return as a hero, or a villain?
     
  5. Jarik

    Jarik Chief Warlock

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    Absolutely loving this concept.

    Taylor's character is spot on for me. Too many authors have her triggering with some ridiculous power and just going hardcore Skitter on everyone's asses straight out of the locker. There were months of Taylor's mindset changing before she decided to take on Lung. This terrified and frightened Taylor with an S-class power that she can barely control is perfect.

    Don't know whether I actually want to see the poor girl corrupted by the S9 as the S9!Taylor tag seems to suggest though.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 7, 2015
  6. Stan

    Stan Order Member

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    Can't get into Dominion at all. I gave up midway through the second chapter. Something about Materia Blades's writing just doesn't sit well with me -- I can't quite quite put my finger on it. Taylor's thoughts in single quotes is annoying, but it shouldn't be a deal-breaker, yet I can't bring myself to read the story.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 7, 2015
  7. Pure Infinity

    Pure Infinity High Inquisitor

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    Dominion by Materia-Blade has updated.
     
  8. Vira

    Vira Order Member

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    Oh thank god, I thought it was abandoned.
     
  9. yak

    yak Moderator Moderator DLP Supporter

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    I don't always like Materia-Blade's works. They tend to have cool moments that detract from the story overall, sometimes they don't seem in character/theme with the rest of the story. Strengths and weaknesses.

    The latest chapter [Five - The Leap] has no weaknesses. Only strengths. I adored it. Taylor's changes are natural and powerful. They're something that we can all relate to. They reached right into my guts and held on to the end.

    Loved this update.
     
    Last edited: Oct 7, 2015
  10. Nemrut

    Nemrut The Black Mage Prestige

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    Forgot this story existed. Yeah, I really love this, Taylor feels right, as do the other characters.

    It's just depressing though, especially later if she does succumb to being a full fledged S9 member, but yeah, I'm on this ride.

    Shatterbird's savage grin or whatever when she found Taylor hiding, I'm not sure, but she always felt more like a stoic rather than a grinning maniac but that's just nitpicking.

    4/5, with potential to go higher
     
  11. Aekiel

    Aekiel Angle of Mispeling Prestige DLP Supporter

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    If I'm remembering canon correctly, Shatterbird was described as arrogant and a mercenary; she started off as an arms dealer in the Middle East or North Africa (or something along those lines) and used the money she earned to buy her powers from Cauldron. After that she just went around destroying things for shits and giggles, iirc.

    Also, Shatterbird becomes infinitely more terrifying when you place her in a desert environment.
     
  12. Nemrut

    Nemrut The Black Mage Prestige

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    I remember her coming from a rich family, buying a vial and then more or less unintentionally destroying Dubai. She liked it, but had to run nonetheless. Don't remember an arms dealing background but I admit, I could be mistaking it for fanon/shit I made up.
     
  13. Aekiel

    Aekiel Angle of Mispeling Prestige DLP Supporter

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    It's been a long time since I read Worm so there's more than just a chance that I'm misremembering things.
     
  14. notes

    notes DA Member

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    The canon Shatterbird origin is a fairly obscure bit of trivia.

    My own understanding is that she's Cauldron, but was given the vial as part of an overly elaborate attempt to disgrace her family by having her mutate and die. Turned Dubai into a glass storm instead, joins up with the s9 sometime later.

    Citation. That chapter was removed shortly after posting, and while the events in it are non-canon, Shatterbird's backstory given there is a more complete version of what's on the in-depth cast page, and as such seems plausible to retain.
     
  15. Vira

    Vira Order Member

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    This fic is still kind of short, so I'm giving it a 4/5 for now, but if it keeps up this quality, then it can easily make my favorites.

    This is the only S9 fic I've read where the writer is actually trying to make Taylor joining realistic. She's hurt, betrayed, but even now, Taylor has yet to join. It speaks of the good writing that it makes sense for her to do it.

    I just really like this fic. Please don't be abandoned again. :(
     
  16. SmileOfTheKill

    SmileOfTheKill Magical Amber

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    This does not fall into the same trappings on Materia-Blade other works because it is too fast. Since it is filled with action and plot, his more terrible slice of life, or even just two characters talking like robots, are not shown. Because of that, this story is quite good. It is short and is leading up to a fine ending.
     
  17. Anarchy

    Anarchy Fourth Champion DLP Supporter

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    I didn't really like the story. It wasn't bad... I guess I just didn't like how any of the characters were written. Taylor did almost nothing but stutter for the entire story, and it was quite jarring. Too much angst. And, I wasn't really feeling the same despair that Taylor felt. It was just flat. I don't really think there's enough to rate at the moment, but it's not really the type of story where I'm waiting anxiously at the edge of my seat for an update. Perhaps if she had actually made it to the birdcage and had gained control of all the parahumans there and had to break out from the inside... but that's not what happened.
     
  18. WrongWayJordan

    WrongWayJordan Squib

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    Loved this. Taylor feels true to her character, and the psycho thing was believable. I always thought the idea of S9 Taylor was ridiculous, but this... This is awesome, and I have no trouble believing any of it.

    I think the best part of the fic, for me, is the progression of Taylor's character. In the beginning, she's terrified of just about everything, and all she wants is for someone save her. By the end of the last chapter though, while she's still terrified, she's progressed from that, and if things continue the way they have been, it will only get better.

    With that said, it's still a little to short for me to give it a 5/5, so 4/5 sounds about right.
     
  19. Jarik

    Jarik Chief Warlock

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    A fic like this can really easily be destroyed by a Materia-Blade moment like the Eye of Sauron, where an attempt to write something epic just comes across as cheesy instead. Still, so far it's been well written.

    Anyway, all my comments in my previous post still valid. Great premise, fantastic take on a Taylor who never had time to come to terms with being a cape and good plot so far (and all the tragedies that have come about as a result of her power). It's also doing a good job of emotionally connecting to the reader too.

    Like that moment when Taylor realizes she's been tricked into willing going to the Birdcage.

    On a side note, isn't that pretty much sentencing everyone in there to being permanently controlled by her?

    Still a bit short, so hard to see how this will go as it continues, but 4/5 so far.
     
  20. Halt

    Halt 1/3 of the Note Bros.

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    An interesting premise and decent technical writing as well as spot on characterization - dealing with a Taylor that has a power far more overwhelming. 4/5