WIP Dreaming of Sunshine by Silver Queen - T - Naruto

Discussion in 'Naruto' started by Moridin, Jul 1, 2012.

  1. gamarad

    gamarad Second Year

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    New chapter out.


    I'm happy for Sakura. Despite her setbacks relative to canon she's still a strong ninja. The next chapter should be interesting given how this one ended. I was a little disappointed that we didn't get to see any of the Shikako Zabuza fight though.
     
  2. Nemrut

    Nemrut The Black Mage Prestige

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    Yeah, having hopes it will be in the side story thing though.

    Edit: Checked her tumblr, she had this to say when she was asked about it:

     
  3. Knyght

    Knyght The Chosen One

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    Good show by Sakura.

    I was wondering if that that strange feeling in the fog was going to be a little unsolved mystery - just a natural phenomena of their world - so this makes a pleasant surprise.
     
  4. Koalas

    Koalas First Year Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Where's my Zabuza fight :(
     
  5. Nazgus

    Nazgus Headmaster

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    It honestly took me out of the story's flow entirely. Thought I'd missed a chapter.
     
  6. VanRopen

    VanRopen Unspeakable

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  7. FlyingOctopus

    FlyingOctopus Second Year

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    Man, poor Isobu. Right in the feels.
     
  8. Knyght

    Knyght The Chosen One

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    When you get genjutsu'd so hard that not even dying can free you. I like how this explains why Isobu was relatively easy to capture in canon and fostered the belief that Tailed Beasts were mindless outside of a Jinchuuruki.

    And I wish there were more fics where Tsunade gets to punch things really hard. Somehow I just don't see it often enough.
     
  9. Skiddo

    Skiddo First Year

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  10. EsperJones

    EsperJones Death Eater

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    Updated again.

    I'm not sure if I'm misremembering, but it feels like the last few chapters were a lot shorter than normal. Looking back at my alerts, this one's definitely on the shorter side.
     
  11. Knyght

    Knyght The Chosen One

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    I hope Naruto is having all sorts of adventures with Jiraiya considering how much his teammates get up to. I can't remember the last time I heard about the Konoha Military Police and I know I've never seen it being rebuilt before.
     
  12. Dresden11

    Dresden11 Second Year

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    I don't think Naruto can be getting up to much really otherwise Shikako would have heard about it since she always has her ear in the intelligence department. No bingo book entries either. Jiraiya seems to have taken him completely away from the action which is interesting since a war is breaking out.

    I am still hoping that Naruto comes back and doesn't immediately jive with his teammates. Sasuke and Shikako are experiencing politics, missions, and a lot of death whereas we can assume that Naruto isn't really seeing any of that. For him to come back and to see them basically moved on would be a very interesting direction to take. I still think they would be great friends, but he would have to struggle to regain that connection. Or maybe it is more likely Shikako has the hard time connecting to Naruto. Last we saw of him, he still really disliked Shikako's methods and her ease of killing. That has only increased since he last saw her. Definitely a lot of room for strife between the two, and I would enjoy it if SQ took it in that direction.
     
  13. Testament

    Testament Seventh Year

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    Updated.

    Short chapter, one that, while not quite rushed, feels like its moved very quickly. Still, the next chapter should prove to be fun and interesting, and the plot explosive.
     
  14. Nemrut

    Nemrut The Black Mage Prestige

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    badumm tss.

    And yeah, things are looking interesting.
     
  15. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Tactical Tomato DLP Supporter

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    You all thought it.

    Also how the fuck do you do strikethrough text here?
     
  16. Seyllian

    Seyllian Unspeakable DLP Supporter

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    The triple-dot insert.
     
  17. Knyght

    Knyght The Chosen One

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    Updated.

    I forgot how often I like DoS' interpretation of how the Narutoverse works e.g. the Earth Flow skill.
     
  18. Dresden11

    Dresden11 Second Year

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    Mission went much easier than I thought it would. It will be ironic if Iwa was able to fix everything within a few weeks since they are the specialists when it comes to earth jutsu.

    I wonder what else SQ has planned for this ANBU arc? 1 mission and 2 chapters seems a little short for a whole arc.
     
  19. CareOtters

    CareOtters Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

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    There's a lot of interesting things in here, but also a whole bunch of cliched tropes which flood the SI genre. I think this may well be the trope creator, so I'll give it a pass. It's not the author's fault that I'm so slow to catch up.

    The narrator seems a bit, well, flimsily characterised. I don't get any real sense early on that the author is deliberately planning out a personality so much as bounding around her own thoughts, reactions, etc from being part of the fandom. Too much self in the self-insert without it adding anything makes it sloppy.

    And lastly, this might be a bone of contention, but I think this story would have been much stronger without Naruto. If he just didn't exist. Or was way, way further in the background. Beyond the horizon. Buried in a well.

    Most of the writing is technically sound, and the characterisation picks up as time goes on. There's some strong action sequences and hints at interesting uses of chakra and ninjutsu - although as I say that, it never goes into as much detail as I'd like. I would love a deeper, technical examination of how they're working. It seems to suggest we're going in that direction at times, but the author always pulls out before I'm satisfied.

    This is caught in limbo between three and four stars, but if I had to decide on one, it's nearer the high mark. But VERY GRUDGINGLY.

    4/5
     
  20. Dresden11

    Dresden11 Second Year

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    I don't see that as a bone of contention at all. I have long left reviews and had discussions with people that this story would be so much better off if Naruto never came back. Silver Queen's writing definitely stepped up to another level after Naruto left for his 3 years. It allowed her to really expand the background and the worldbuilding as well as the MC's character development without Naruto butting in. It was a blossoming of all the other characters too without Naruto around sucking in all the oxygen. Though I am glad that the canon train seems to be very much off the tracks.
     
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