Complete First Try - Lucillia - Naruto

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by TheWiseTomato, Jun 17, 2011.

  1. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Tactical Tomato DLP Supporter

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    Title: First Try
    Author: Lucillia
    Rating: T
    Genre: Drama/Humour
    DLP Category: Naruto
    Pairing: None listed
    Status: Complete
    Summary: Due to a quirk of fate, Naruto passes the Academy Graduation Exam on his first try. Because of this, his life takes an interesting turn before he joins Team 7 as he was destined to do.
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7033987/1/First_Try

    Good amusing read. Chapters are short and the author is a drabble poster, but the fic is complete at 28K words. Well written, nothing jumped out that made me want to punch a kitten. There's a sequel in the works too, currently at 56K words.
     
  2. DarkAizen

    DarkAizen Professor DLP Supporter

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    Yeah, I'm following this one as well, and it's a pretty good story. Chapters are a little short, but when she updates, she often updates 3 or more chapters, so it's all good.

    Some grammar mistakes although nothing that prevented me from enjoying this story.

    4/5
     
  3. The Berkeley Hunt

    The Berkeley Hunt Headmaster

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    Considering how sparse this fandom is for good fics, this board has become one of my favourite on DLP. Keep on postin'!

    Nice story. I really liked the description of the ninja system as it applies to regular ninja, it really encompassed the professionalism I expected a ninja village to have, and Naruto's progression from idiot to solid genin, as opposed to canons shit to lolhax. Many OCs, and his team are sadly underdeveloped, but Tetsuo was a good guy, and they all served their purpose admirably without getting too in your face.

    My main problem with this fic is that its obviously a setup for the sequel, in which Naruto interacts with the main canon cast, and consequently certain avenues weren't explored, and the fic didn't have the depth I usually need to really enjoy a fic.

    But, solid work with a great, original premise that worked really well, 4/5 for me, definite recommendation.
     
    Last edited: Jun 17, 2011
  4. Tasoli

    Tasoli Headmaster

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    It is so similar to a bunny I tought for last few months it isn't even funny.

    still I think it would be more interesting if Naruto was alredy a chunin.
     
  5. Kari Black

    Kari Black DA Member

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    I've been following this too, and its sequel. Fairly solid, and the short chapters do get to me a bit (I tend to like longer ones better). There's not much that's super original, but it manages to avoid the horrible cliches too for the most part. There could be more in-depth character development across the board, and some more careful attention to grammar and writing style. It's still a pretty enjoyable light read, and I like Naruto's progression as a ninja. It hovers at the lower end of a 4/5 for me.
     
  6. The Berkeley Hunt

    The Berkeley Hunt Headmaster

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    One thing that should be mentioned is the use of multiple perspectives. I know some people really dislike that, and especially in the sequel the author often uses the other teams of the chunin exams, and Zabuza or Haku etc instead of Naruto.

    It can work really well, like using Tazuna's impression of the first Zabuza/Kakashi fight to turn it from it's usual chapter-long fight into a couple of paragraphs, but it can also be a bit frustrating not to follow Naruto's thoughts and such.

    Just thought I should put the word on that out there, but still maintaining the rec either way.
     
  7. Starwind

    Starwind Headmaster

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    I had two iffys about this - the massive connection to the Uzumaki he was trying to build in Wave - and - Naruto's sensei is a Shimura, it always seems like most ocs have to be related to a main character, why? -_- other than that I have been enjoying it.
     
  8. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Tactical Tomato DLP Supporter

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    Trying to mitigate low tolerences for OCs perhaps.
     
  9. Rehio

    Rehio Alchemist DLP Supporter

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    I'm honestly kind of disappointed in this one. The author lets Naruto graduate early and has a pretty interesting story about it.

    And then the sequel seems to follow canon to the letter. It's just boring.
     
  10. Lion

    Lion Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    It does? I must have forgotten about the ANBU battle royal at the end of the wave arc. My bad.
     
  11. KaiDASH

    KaiDASH High Inquisitor DLP Supporter

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    I think we're looking for non-trivial changes here.
     
  12. Euroclydon

    Euroclydon High Inquisitor

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    I agree with Rehio, this is a bit boring. The fight scenes aren't exactly what I'm used to as far as description is concerened, it kind of feels like the author sets up the fight and gives a brief overview of what went down, and then skips to the next scene. Heh, I'm still reading it, so I can't complain too much.
     
  13. Starwind

    Starwind Headmaster

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    It's more like multiple drabbles for a chapter to me, but still enjoyable.

    You can't expect major divergences so quickly, otherwise it's AU, but Naruto responses could cause divergences to stuff. Although atleast the writer seems to not bash Kakashi. They seem iffy on Sakura and Sasuke though.
     
  14. The Berkeley Hunt

    The Berkeley Hunt Headmaster

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    Now updated - here it is. Amusing tangent with what a regular nin must feel when they encounter two S-classes just hanging around.

    "Gee, thanks." Kuarutsu said. "We'll just be going now."

    Pretty funny.
     
  15. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Tactical Tomato DLP Supporter

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    Yeah, that was good--I liked the feel I got of how the only reason the regular nin were left alive was because Itachi and Kisame had something else to occupy their attention.

    Multiple perspectives in this chapter was good. The way people from across the continent were rooting for Naruto was amusing.
     
  16. LT2000

    LT2000 Alchemist

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    The Sasuke bashing in the recent chapters is getting a bit tiresome.
     
  17. Howdy

    Howdy Dark Lord

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    Meh.

    Call it bashing if you want, but canon Sasuke is a nasty, loathsome character and it's difficult to write Naruto fiction, as you are aware, without expressing that in some way or otherwise making his character do a 180.

    Eventually Kishimoto solved this issue by writing Sasuke out of the manga for huge periods of time, but in a story that focuses on the growth and dynamic of Team 7 it's difficult to sweep under the rug.
     
  18. digitalstorm

    digitalstorm Seventh Year DLP Supporter

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    Sasuke was pretty decent up until he challenged Itachi to a fight and got his ass kicked.
     
  19. LT2000

    LT2000 Alchemist

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    Indeed (at least as far as treatment of Naruto goes) Sakura was a far more unpleasant character than Sasuke at this point in canon imo. Exactly what nasty, spoiled things had Sasuke done at or prior to the Chuunin Exam arc? I hate PTS Sasuke as much as anyone and I was, as I'm sure you were referring to, likewise guilty of treating him in a less than fair manner in my old abandoned dungheap of a fic...but that doesn't make it good writing.
     
  20. KaiDASH

    KaiDASH High Inquisitor DLP Supporter

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    Prior to the 2nd mindrape by Itachi, Sasuke's character was fine. Sakura was more of a bitch before that point too.

    Not really too impressed with how this fic has been going now. Too much telling with too little showing, the character bashing and the main events are basically a straight canon rehash.