Why thank you very much, I like your user name Kill Ginny indeed.

 

Did anyone try reading my fic today? Yes...no? Verdicts?

 

I'm reading this at the moment. I'm only on chapter two at the moment but what I have read so far as been alright. It's not the best start to a story that I have read, nor is it the worst. I'll keep reading and let you know some of my thoughts later.

There is one thing that irks me though. Not that it's any fault of yours it's just something that gets on my nerves in most fics. You say that it will take one hour and a half to get to London from Surrey in easy traffic. Surrey is only 31.8 miles from London and that trip can be made in a third of the time you said.

It's not a big deal, just something that gets on my nerves... and that's only because I know.

Likewise I'm not sure about the interaction between Harry and Dudley. I personally don't like it when the Dursley's are suddenly portrayed as good. It would have been better perhaps if you had Dudley explain why he did some of the things that he did in the past and then ask Harry for forgiveness. As it stands its sorts of like Dudley saying "Thank you, Harry, for stopping me getting snogged and butt shagged by that dirty kinky dementor." And Harry replying "Oh, don't worry about it, Dudley, darling. And while I'm at it I forgive you for the complete and utter twat you've been all my life." Yeah I know it's exaggerated but I just wish it was explained better.

Your writing seems OK and there are no glaring mistakes that I can see. I'm not the best with grammar so I won't comment on whether that is good or not (purely because I wouldn't know either way).

Like I said I'm enjoying it so far. I'll read on and leave some other comments once I've read more.

 

anyone else think the true story's james bond avatar also looks like a demented bunny rabbit?

 

:?

 

Yes..

 

Isn't this supposed to be a review and or question/answer forum for my story? Just wondering...I like off topicness, don't get me wrong, I'm just a little egotistical [maybe more than a little].

 

I have just posted a new chapter in my story. I hope a lot of you will go check it out and get interested, if you haven't already read it. Or love the new chapter because I put a lot of work into it. Anyway, let me know what you all think.

Reminder, the ling for my story is in my siggie. I know, the title is not original, sorry. But the story is fairly original in ideas, along with the try to mesh with some canon.

-Forfie

 

Ok, Forfie, It's like this:

This is DarkLordPotter.Net

You have written a canon based story, and Harry is a passive character that only reacts, not acts. Our view of the ideal Harry is obviously much different then yours.

This is the world of fanfiction. We like a smarter/more powerful/non-pussy/self-thinking/assertive Harry. While canon portrays Harry as you do, that's why we made this site - for stories that don't have canon Harry. We like him different than you do. You like Harry to be normal.

We don't.

Here at DLP, we are firm believers in the fact that Harry is a special boy. A special boy that has so much potential...potential that JKR never allows Harry to reach.

This site was made so we could escape stories like yours. No offense, but if you are fishing for acceptance here, go look elsewhere.

Now, you may have Harry be just a little bit smarter, powerful, and independent...but in the end, he's still a humble, passive guy that bows his head to Dumbledore. He still goes to his best friends in the whole wide world that support him no matter what.

You have Harry just a normal bloke, with friends, and happiness, and drinking buddies from Gryffindor - the best house of all!

Simply put - Harry was never meant to have a normal, teenage life. Harry was abused for much of his life, lost waaaay too much, and has seen to much to be a normal, confused teenager. He's an adult by now, for all intents and purposes. He will never be an innocent 16 year old that enjoys the life of a 16 year old. He willl never be you.

Now, don't get me wrong. You have written a fantastic fic, well written, and well thought out. It's just that we at DLP prefer, darker, more serious fics that don't revolve around Harry's daily life and use him as a camera to show more interesting characters.

We like Harry...not some special OC you made.

Sorry if it seems like I'm blasting your fic. I'm not. It's very good.

It just doesn't agree with most of us. We all passed through the phase where we looked for stories close to canon, and just wantd a 'continuation' of the series.

In fact, I really don't want to read Book 7 - because it will be an immature love story that has Voldemort less a character than a concept, labels Dark as evil, has Harry find his soulmate at 17...with Ginny, and have a Deus ex Machina ending where Harry beats Voldemort through the power of love and friendship that he shares with Ginny, Ron, and Hermione. Harry will suddenly get all wise and say to Tom that the most powerful force is love, and since Tom doesn't understand it and can only hate, is weak. And then, Harry will visit Dumbledore's portrait, who will reveal to him something else, say he's proud, and Harry, Ginny, Ron and Hermione will all walk into the sunset.

We're just sick of canon.

 

it'd be interesting if she just jumped ship and wrote a harry-goes-dark book 7 <_<

 

Keeping Dreaming dude.


Anyways I've read the fic, and it is quite good, if your looking for a good stick to the canon fanfic.

As Amerison stated, we do not like Canon Harry.

That and hes acting... to normal, for someone whos supposed to be more abnormal then the abnormal wizards.

Thats my Two Cents... it just doesnt belong on DLP... not our tastes.

 

I respect and value all of your feed back. If you wish for me to remove my story from the site, I will. But as I have stated before, I want to create a massive storyline, spaning a few 'books' that will show a gradual growth of Harry. I tend not to like stories that throw you in a situation where Harry is completely out of character, it just doesn't feel right. Have you ever heard the story of the man who tried to boil a frog? He tried throwing it into a pot of boiling water and it jumped out, then he put it in a pot of cool water and slowly turned up the heat till the water and frog boiled. That is what I'm trying to do, to give a natural feeling to a more wordly, observant and powerful Harry [later on]. This way allows me to show you how he became that way, like in the book Starship Troopers with Juan "Johnnie" Ricco. I know it's painful to hear, but by the end of the series, it Harry will be a more recognized figure then Merlin in the Wizarding [and muggle] world(s).

 

As far as I'm concerned, you can keep it here. It's in general for a reason.

We, as a site, are notoriously impatient. So, keep on updating.

I'll be reading your fic when book 7 comes out so I can wash out the bad aftertase from J.K.'s horseshit.

Whatever you write, it will better than J.K. (Unless you take the path Barb did...Ginny killing Voldemort, because of Malfoy's love??? And Harry giving up his magic to bring Malfoy back to life??)

But really, don't despair. It IS a good story. You just have a smaller audience here

 

I assure you, I will most deff not follow Barb. And my plans for Malfoy are for him to be a swindeling spy that's very elusive and plays both sides. A mix of Shasha from Enemy at the Gates and Emilo Esteves from The Breakfast Club. And no miraculous rising from the grave, unless they become Inferi.

 

Dude, I'm going to rip on anyone, that is here running up their mouths about your fic., so early in the story line and jumps on the Forfie bandwagon and is pestering you for updates, when you get to certain points in the plot you've discussed with me. And I know, it's going to happen, considering the plot line it will follow and their reactions to other person's stories. I'm reading the updated chapter now and am going to leave a review. Keep up the GOOD work, True Story aka HarryReader.