Title: Harry Potter and the Paradox of Time
Author: TrowGundam
Rating: T
Status: WIP

Pairing: Harry Potter/Lily Potter [Harry kills James and takes his place]

Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2975576/1/

Hary goes back in time, finds James raping Lily, kills him, takes his place. This is meant to explain the radical change James supposedly went through before his seventh year.

Harry changes the timeline, meaning he won't die at Godric's Hallow.

2 Chapters so far, and its looks good.

 

Well, it's interesting, to say the least. And it's never to bad to have another unique pairing to read. However, as it's only two chapters in, there's not much to say besides the fact that I think Harry's "dad"'s death was kinda rushed, as well as the fact that I don't believe that harry can use the more complex spells he used during the diagon alley fight, seeing as he wasted basically all of his time during his sixth year (it's post-HBP).

Edit: Nevermind, I reread the fight and it looks like Harry's body was mysteriously moving and shooting spells on its own, with Harry just watching as a spectator or something.

 

It's ok, but the whole conversation between Lily and Harry when Harry first arrives is strained and unrealistic.

 

Blah. This is basically canon Harry, who cries about killing someone who was about to rape his mother, he's really unskilled, but he has some sort of gay magical luck bullshit that posseses him when in a fight so he doesn't get himself killed. Don't like it.

 

Sounds interesting, though some conversations are a bit far-fetched.

 

The whole idea of James raping Lily is disgusting and so I wont be bothering with this

 

It takes all of three sentences...not much to be disgusted about.

 

it is a nice way to spend time.. mot a bad story. i like it

 

I dont like this story simply because of the fact that Harry has no skill, when he fights so is he not in control which is just strange.

Also Harrys reaction to killing james was totally wrong. He started sobbing about using the killing curse and about having killed. He has not acted like that in the past, He basicly killed his first Defence Teacher but was unaffected by it, he mearly became depressed after Sirius died and he did not have a panic attack after using the Crucio curse on Bellatrix in the Department of Mysteries...

 

Well, maybe it's the fact that it is chapter two. Super!Harry takes some time...let's wait and see where the skills come from.

He killed his father with an Unforgivable. It's the difference between torturing a criminal, and shooting the man you thought was the greatest person ever. The cruciatus was bad, yes, but it doesn't kill. Plus he used it on Lestrange. The veil thing was out of his hand entirely. Quirrel was trying kill him, and I think that Harry really saw it as defeating Voldemort. Plus, he really didn't kill Quirrel, Lily' charm protected him, and killed Quirrel by accident.

 

Meh...it's pretty good. I don't know what it was about this story that I didn't like, but I didn't like something about the writing style/mood of the story. The plotline is pretty decent though. I guess that I'll have to wait for the story to evolve before I can really judge it though.

 

Fuegodefuerza - I think that's exactly it. The plot is really interesting and while there are a few H/L stories out there, this seems fairly unique and has a lot of potential, but the writing needs a lot of polishing. It is too fast (its like an outline with some of the narration already there and doesn't flesh out the story enough to feel like you are reading anything substantial.) Also the conversations feel really rough. Its almost like the author hasn't decided what the characters are going to be like and there they have little personality and are just saying the bare-bones of what needs to be said.

 

I submitted this because of HP/LE and nothing more.

Should be reason enough to delete.

 

Amer, really?

Thats not an out of place letter considering Sirius and Dumbledore would logically give Harry things from their vaults. Especially Sirius in this situation. Also, the letter from his "parents" is the only way he could go back in time. So it's essential to the plot.

On that note however, the story isn't finished. It feels rushed a lot of the time. The grammar isn't perfect. However, the letter doesn't ruin this story for me, other moments do.

I'd give this story a 2/2.5 out of 5. It's not really Library worthy though I would consider it maybe Recycle Bin worthy. I'm not too sure, but this isn't certainly one of the worst stories I've read.

 

God that was horrible. I only made it through the first two chapters. The grammar was laughable and the pace was rushed. Not even good enough for the Recycle Bin.

1/5

 

Yeah, it was definitely rushed, and I could tell that from the one chapter I read. I was honestly surprised that Amersion had recommended this fic. Now that he explains his reasons, I understand why. The only reason I began reading was because this was one of the few, Harry/Lily, fics that came up when I used the nifty search by pairing feature on DLP.