Title: Harry Potter and the Power of Revenge

Author: God of Death and Disease

Rating: M

Genre: General/Sci-Fi

DLP Category: Independent Harry

Pairing: harry/ginny/luna

Status: Work in Progress

Summary:

When aunt Marge visits the Dursleys after the events of OotP things become too much for the Boy Who lived and he snaps, the power of his dark side that Voldemort helped create on that horrible night fourteen years is unleashed and he decides to fight the war on his own terms, his ultimate goal to create a world where there is no corrupt government or discrimination towards magical animals and half-bloods or muggleborns.​

Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2567429/1/Harry_Potter_and_the_Power_of_Revenge

Mostly posted it because i liked this story way back when it was first posted and that I like Sci-Fi's.

Well it starts with some cliches and is harry/ginny at the start (I know that people here don't like it) but there is a harry/luna development. Also Ron and Dumbledore bashing. Some new ideas.

 

Jesus, I can't even find the will to finish the first chapter of this. The tenses are all over the place and the dialogue is just plain awful.

I was willing to give it the benefit of the doubt, as it was started in 2005, maybe it gets better in the later chapters; however the minute I read Harry referring to Dumbledore as DUMBLEDORK, (in capitals as well), I just had to stop. A 12 year old could just about get away with that, but a 15 year old newly awakened super!Harry?

Here are several examples of Fail:

Just like that, "Oh hey guys! I just became dark!".

Harry's revenge on the Dursleys was pretty original however:

Spoiler

He pays Gringotts to look after some animals for him then locks the Dursleys in a empty vault for them.

Which would of been great if he hadn't then gone on to use the phrase 'DUMBLEDORK' straight afterward.

So if anyone else manages to wade there way through this, tell me if it gets any better, and if so I'll try it again. But for now I really can't get past the first chapter, which I'd give 1/5.

 

Well, thankfully it does get better but it's much more suited for this thread. Harry gets way too sappy and emo for my liking and Luna is replaced with an OC.

The author should tone down the description and learn to use the enter key. It gets tiring after a while.

It's an all right story if you have a lot of free time. 2/5

 

/me fukken rolls.

 

Can someone ban this douche already?

 

That's... a pretty fucking awesome line, Seratin.:awesome

Also, this is not spoiler material, but I didn't want anyone bitching that I'd killed their eyes with this massive wall of text.

Spoiler

The Minister of Magic of America and Great-Brittan sat together with Albus Dumbledore at a table high up in one of the rooms in the tower of Azkaban. Outside the weather was dreary. A storm was brewing and it didn’t help the mood in the room. Each was reflecting on the past. Events the last few months had shown them a truth none of them had ever wanted to face. They were powerless. Every time Harry Potter had bested them and they hated it. A year ago none of them could have ever imagined sitting here on this dreary island, their forces in tatters, their people scared and afraid and angry at them. Albus faired none the better. The Order of the Phoenix was divided. He was certain that given the chance more than half would join Harry at this point but they knew he would never welcome them, no matter what. They were to close to himself. The others thought they should give up on Harry and go completely after Voldemort now. He was starting to agree with them. If the opportunity would’ve still been there he would most likely side with Harry himself but he had done too many wrongs to the boy. He was beyond forgiveness and he knew it. The voices in his head were very much opposed to the idea too. Especially Godric. Since Harry had so utterly bested him and even destroyed the great artefact that was the Sword of Gryffindor the founder of the bravest house was slowly becoming more vengeful. All he talked about was revenge on Harry Potter and it was starting to grate on Albus’ nerves. The other two were in it as well but they still wanted to help him deal with Voldemort as well. Salazar had betrayed them. But that was not their priority. They had given themselves, their very souls, to protecting Hogwarts and they wanted it back, no matter what the cost was. He sighed, going against Harry was impossible right now. He had proven that to them. His island was an impenetrable fortress and Potter Mansion was a suicide mission to try and take right now. Albus looked sideways at Jonathan. The man was almost broken right now. His navy had disappeared from the face of the Earth, along with its base. Only a few remaining ships patrolled the island. He had promised that in the coming months new ships would join them but it would take years to rebuild the American fleet. The last time they had still had their base and had pulled all kind of ships from the queue to be scrapped and repaired them as best as they could, outfitting them with the new weapons they had thought up to counter Harry’s war machines. He had helped them in the hopes of defeating Insania’s fleet. It would’ve shown Harry he was not as powerful as he had thought. Boy, had he proven them wrong. The Warhammer had been an impressive feat. Ginny Weasley’s powers that she had gained from Harry were impressive indeed. With his tinkering they had created a weapon that was beyond anything else. They had even knocked whatever Insania had been launching out of the sky. He had to wonder about the things Jonathan’s men, the few survivors, had told him. Such a colossal structure high above them. He knew it couldn’t be anything else than a devastating weapon. “Harry has certainly shown wizards how powerless they really are clinging to their ways and what potential the muggles truly possess.” He thought grimly. He shuddered at the thought of Voldemort having had Harry’s upbringing and then becoming a Dark Lord intent on murdering all the purebloods. They would never have stood a chance. He had to wonder if Harry was close to another girl, would she also be able to do what Ginny could now? The thought scared him a little. Harry seemed to be in control over his powers. As much as he hated to admit it he had been wrong about the boy. The power hadn’t corrupted him. But other people weren’t as strong. He decided he would focus his attention on Voldemort from now on. But if he did that, there was something else, someone else, that he would have to decide what to do with. Ginny was sitting in his chambers in the fortress, still under his control. This was perhaps the greatest injustice he had done to the boy. He had been responsible getting the two together and then he had separated them. Taking the girl with her had been another way to make Harry listen to him. Another big mistake, they had lost the ministry over it. He looked at his gnarled old hands and realized there was a lot of blood on these. Cornelius Fudge wasn’t doing all that well either. Public opinion of him was at an all-time low but he refused to stand down. He only had a handful of Aurors left and they were doing what they could to maintain public order. The Ministry was in shambles, the people they were supposed to govern were being dragged into a war and they realised they were merely powerless onlookers. This was Harry and Voldemort’s war now. The man had become strangely quiet lately, more contemplative. He was starting to see the truth, Dumbledore thought. He was curious to see how Fudge would cope with it. The competition Between Jonathan and Cornelius seemed to have abated too. The two talked a lot behind closed doors. He wasn’t allowed in on their conversations anymore and he was curious if they were trying to plan something against Harry. The influence he used to have over them had disappeared as well. Too many things had gone wrong. And he had been at the root of a lot of those things. He would never be able to repent for his sins. All he could now was to try and find the wisest course of action and hope for the best.

Oh yes he did.
Professional formating work for the fucking win.

 

My only reply to this fic is a low grunt that sounds kind of sad.

 

Troll under the bridge, better get the club.

 

just lame.

 

I agree, what kinda horseshit is this? That other Jedi story is just as bad. Wtf is wrong with you, OP?

 

Rofl.

Wdf? This crap doesn't even deserve to be in the Recycling Bin.

 

Isn't this the one with all the boats? I think I kind of liked it, years ago.

 

I kind of asertained that the OP was a troll thanks to his lack of proper capitalisation and the like (What the fuck? Harry, Ginny and Luna get the honour of being insignificant and incorrect, while Ron and Dumbledore get capital treatment?). But I can guess the story is bad enough just from the title...

One quick look later... Hey - I was fucking right, wow!

 

Is it just me or is "fight the war on his own terms" the most overused phrase in summary history?

 

It's a very common phrase these days to try and make Harry sound independent.

 

Why in the name of the God of Death and Disease did you link to Chapter 25???

Your Recommendation Fails.

 

Well, at least Ginny is portrayed accurately - she's just with him because of his power/fame/money/whatever.

2/5.

 

Spoiler

The DA was now 6000 students strong and was ready to commence the first step

Yeah, no need to read further than that.

1/5

 

Wow, don't go there. The almost recommended thread is not infested with trolls and most of the stories there are just as good/better then a lot of the stories in the library

On topic, this story fails on more the a few levels and OP should receive the banhammer.