...

Dude. So what you're saying is that Big Boss shouldn't have been introduced until CoS as the storyline continues to follow the Canon storyline but yet Harry would immediately trust him even though he's just met Voldemrot twice after a day of talking?

And now you're saying that he shouldn't be introduced until CoS because he didn't train harry all that much? Doesn't that go back to the trust issue?

I'm seriously confused.

EDIT: I'd be interested to find out who teaches Harry about Occlumency. Psycho Mantis or an HP character?

 

If you'd like I can try and get Rogue 11 to start a DLP account, so he can actually respond to this stuff...

Failing that, try and join Spacebattles...

 

Trust isn't built in a day, and wouldn't you be a bit wary after having a dumbass and a Dark Lord for defence teachers, facing off against said Dark Lord twice, along with a fucking big snake.

I think any normal person would be just slightly wary of new people at this point, wouldn't you? Jesus, i'm surprised they don't have bets on what the new DADA teacher is gonna be next year.

*Scene*
"With my luck we'll probably get Lucius Malfoy as a defence teacher next year," said Harry in a despondant tone.

"Nah, that won't happen," responded Ron, and after a moment of thought, "we'll get a vampire, I think."

"Ugh, Headmistress McGonagall wouldn't let Lucius Malfoy or a vampire be a teacher, don't be stupid," came the irritated voice of Hermione.

*September 1st, 7th Year*

"And now, we introduce our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, supplied for us by the Ministry of Magic," there was a long groan from the students, "Mr. Lucius Malfoy, who has recently been turned into a vampire and kicked out of the Death Eaters." McGonagall's lips had become so thin as to be invisible and there was a huge round of applause from the Slytherin table... and complete silence from the others.

Harry blinked slowly as the senior Malfoy languidly strolled out from a side room. He turned to Hermione with a strange look on his face. "You had to bloody well jinx it didn't you."

*End Scene*

Anywho, after that... unexpected idea, Harry isn't exactly forthcoming in the trust department after his second year, only Lupin gained his trust, and that was only because he was a friend of his parents and was teaching him the Patronus Charm.

P.S. Now that I think about it, this omake thing has no relevance to the topic so if you want me to move it I will. Though it could tie in to trusting someone because they hold a certain position, or are vaguely related to him, though not through blood.

 

Right... Having been convinced by PsychoSama to join up (If only for the purpose of responding to this thread.)

Basic point of this story: Get that damn idea out of my head as it had been lurking around for quite some time there. Also: Since I first was at it just use it to try and train to write in areas of writing I consider myself weak. I never intended to post it and just courtesy of one of my pre-readers who in a "Best fic you ever read" thread on SB listed it without notifying me I got convinced to put it up just so they could see what the hell he was talking about. I'm caught flat footed at how good response he's gotten so far and this forum was a fresh breath of air in that it's the first negative feed back I've gotten on it.

Let's handle the criticism:

Stuff I consider valid:

The Title: Can't agree more. I SUCK with Titles. Just can't come up with a good one to save my life. This story didn't even have a title for the months it just lay around on my hard drive taking up a few kb space. I came up with one after having been convinced to post it on SB by some friends.

Sticking too close to canon: Yep, I even was so lazy I transcribed dialogue directly from the original books on some scenes I felt I couldn't skip yet plain didn't want to handle fully in figuring out how the character would act under changed circumstances like that. A bit of it was that the initial idea for this story was altering a certain scene in Book 4 with how a Big Boss trained Harry would do there. So I did want it to happen and not change too much. A bit was that I really wanted to do change gradually, just 'cause it's something I haven't often done in my stories and felt I could use the practise. And a bit is because I want to see how the changed characters would do in some of the same situations. As some has said though, by now all the minor changes are building up enough that it'll start breaking more and more away from canon.

I probably won't do a full break until end of year 4 or so though.

Worth mentioning:

Bringing Big Boss in too early: The ones who say I wanted trust solid down the line has it mostly right, but there's more.

There was the issue that in the time lines doesn't leave that much room. In 1995 Big Boss went rogue state with Outer Heaven. The last years before he probably didn't have any free time whatshowever. I mean going rebellious on such a large scale (He had nukes and some advanced weaponry not availible to any of the first world nations at the time) right under the nose of your superiors without tipping them off is a major project. Unless he had a reason to pay attention to Harry beforehand it wouldn't happen. So I figured I'd err on the side of caution and place it well beforehand.

Yeah I tend to atleast at the start of my writings to pay an inane ammount of attention to details. That usually detoriates over time as I just let it flow and keep writing for the heck of it, but at the start before I really let it go I just tend to go over everything I can find for information and then try to fit everything together. Despite not planning to really show it to anyone.


The good:

Thanks for the appreciation from those of you that loved it. Really helps motivate me to keep writing

 

Yeah, just a question, Rogue11, just who is gonna teach Harry Occlumency?


That asked, I'm gonna quietly laugh at Illusive for getting shot down by three different people.

 

Mostly Big Boss with his second controller port technique. Atleast one wizard tries of course as no wizard will trust a pure muggle technique. If Snape he fails out again (That guy SUCKS as a teacher)

Mantis MIGHT enter it just to help out, but he's mostly icing on the cake in that case.

 

Hey... Rogue signed up... this should be good. Also that occlumency scene should be fun to read.

 

You should probably post this on FicWad or something like that.

 

Next chapter is up...

 

First, what PsychoSama said. Also, just reading through their posts; but one of the posters said this,

Has anyone actually made a story which has this kind of spell casting in it? 'Cuase I've read through most of the DLP archives and I haven't gotten anything remotely similar.

 

Most people mention the 'levitation charm over a cliff' thing in indy!Harry stories but they rarely go for that afterwards. Its just a plot device for making magic neutral, not the evil, scary, dark magic that has been banned since the 1940s. They give the example and then make him learn all these uber spells that dark wizards can come to expect. I mean, whose gonna expect a levitation charm over a disemboweling(sp) curse?

On a side note, if dark magic is so bad, why was it taught in Hogwarts until Dumbledore became Headmaster? Hundreds of years of dark arts, without everyone turning into a raving lunatic kinda promotes a good view of it... So why?

Aekiel

 

Hum... I can't quite remember that it was taught at hogwart for hundred of years, bu maybe you are right (cough hbp cough, maybe).

But, anyway, it *is* taught at Drumstrang...And while they aren't lunatics, they are kind of moronic. A side effect?

Edit: the end was supposed to be a bad joke...sigh. Though apart from Viktor, we haven't seen much of the drumstrang people (Rowling...continuity!!!).

 

How are they moronic?

 

Yeah, and I'm going to go cry because some kids on the net disagree with me. Waaaaaa. Moron.

 

I teach people older than you, squire.

 

It’s a very good story. I can’t find any problems with it. I'd give it a 5/5 only because it’s a good crossover.
You rarely find good crossovers these days . . . or there slash (shudders) Legolas and Harry is not a good pairing (mumbles, Stupid fan-girls).

 

Very well written. Enjoyed it up until he went to Hogwarts. After that it just seems like it went to a different story.

 

okay, I read this, and rate it 1/5 due to the interesting beginning, hate the fact he is following canon so closely and has totally ignored the fact that change's occur which changes the future.

So the author is constantly ignoring things just so it fits his storyline, which has numerous plot holes due to this...

my advice, tank it unless you like strict canon, no matter what changes Harry goies through, he will always think the same, no matter what words come out of his mouth, it will never change the future....sad really:{...

ThunderGod
:banana:

 

If you would bloody well read the author notes you'll realise that he's sticking close to canon until fourth year! Jesus Christ, its been gone over so many times its not even funny anymore.

I give it a 5/5 because it seems like its gonna have a lot of action from year 4 onwards. Harry will be independant from Dumbledore and will be receiving training from the most dangerous man in the world. What do you think is gonna happen?

Just give it a few more chapters til he gets to the major break then judge it. He's said multiple times that he wanted to stick pretty close to canon while keeping it quite short until year 4. Where he's gonna put in different challenges and everything.

Aekiel

P.S. Also, its a fucking AU! Of course its gonna change the fucking future! Plus, he's being trained in CQC, he's being taught to be paranoid and he's learning to be independant. That's gonna have some changes on his character in books 4/5/6. (He's very trusting in book 4 and angry in book 5. Big Boss will not let him turn emo!)

 

This story is friggin' amazing. I loved it.