Complete Perfectly Normal Thank You Very Much by Sorrows - K

Discussion in 'General Fics' started by Sorrows, Jun 11, 2016.

  1. douter

    douter Fourth Year

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    4/5.

    I didn't think I'd enjoy this fic when I read the summary, but I was pleasantly surprised. It is a very nice fun fic, that had good immersion and nice characterization as well as not being too long.
     
  2. Jarizok

    Jarizok Seventh Year

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    That review by Newcomb was better than many a fanfic I've read lately, so I immediately went to read the story.

    I have to say that with my expectations waaay up there, not ALL of the dialogue felt super natural to me, for instance;

    "And your wife didn't see her?"
    "Luckily my wife..."

    I feel like most people in Dudley's position would say 'she' rather than 'my wife' there, or use her name.

    Content-wise, I'm pretty sure doing accidental magic at nine and a half is not "manifesting early" per se, what with Neville's family putting him in dangerous situations trying to force him to show magic because it's rare for magical children to NOT have shown signs of accidental magic from earlier on. Then again, Dudley is said to have "avoided it for months" so it's not so much that Daisy hasn't been showing signs of accidental magic, it's more that it stuck out to me that Harry would say that she's "manifesting early".

    Finally, there's really too many spelling issues in there, it's distracting (although that may just be the grammar nazi in me).

    Aside from all that, it really is a very nice story that is also well told. I can't top any of the superlatives thrown around in the other reviews so I'll just say: 4.5/5.
     
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2016
  3. Harshmate

    Harshmate First Year

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    I read the story and I just know you wrote it with care and love. It is short, sweet, and so well written.
    It is fluffy but mixes it with real emotional weight. It captures the whimsical magic of the HP world but doesn't shy away from its underbelly. We revisit Diagon Alley and Quidditch through the eyes of young kids. But the story gives us closure by touching on the past that we read about. The characters we grew up with have matured and it shows.
    I mean, everything from the dialogue to the characterisation to the themes were just beautiful. I did feel Chapter 3 was a bit weaker than the others. But overall, it was just a fantastic experience. Definite 5/5 from me.
    This idea is interesting and I had not seen it before. Now I am wondering why. In any case, I know I will always compare all the epilogue-type fanfics I read and will read to this one. It's just really good.
     
  4. Sir Snuffy

    Sir Snuffy Third Year

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    Great story. I don't really seek out post-canon stories as I don't find them interesting enough, but when I see one I'll have a read.

    The story is written in a tone that fits the 'aura' of the plot. The mannerisms and the way of speaking of the familiar canon characters are left up to us to imagine and interpret, which is a great trait that many authors just don't capitalise on.

    I may have missed the somewhat stilted dialogue that some may be pointing out, but that is easily forgivable given the quality of the rest of the fic.

    Overall, I give a 4/5. It is a great fic and a worthy read, but it doesn't give me the 'WOW' that would usually end up making my thoughts come back to it every once in a while.
     
  5. worldbuilder

    worldbuilder Squib

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    haven't read a lot of post canon stuff, but this was a well written story that good me immersed into it and I had a good time reading it.
    As some have said it's a great story, but I am missing the spark that would make this into a fic that would remain in my mind for some time.
    still great story. 4/5
     
  6. SumTwo

    SumTwo Squib

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    Very satisfying read. Interesting to see Dudley all grown up without major emotional or social problems. I found this much more satisfying than other stories based on Harry's children. Thankyou for the story.
     
  7. Sauce Bauss

    Sauce Bauss Death Eater DLP Supporter

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    I only just found this, and it was pretty fantastic. Very much in line with canon's tone, and extremely realistic. If I'd seen this as part of the epilogue, I'd have believed it.

    5/5, it's rare to find a short and sweet pure HP story these days. Reminds me of why I loved the series so much from the start.
     
  8. The Pro

    The Pro Seventh Year

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    I'm gonna echo what the other reviewers have said thus far. This story is excellent. It manages to perfectly nail the ambience of the first few books in the series. The same serene atmosphere and underlying magical tingle were all present in this story. Well done.

    The characters were captured perfectly. Their maturity after two decades was evident, particularly in their interactions. Harry especially was well done. His benevolence and levelheadedness gained after two decades, marriage and three kids was evident. That he assisted Dudley rather than telling him to fuck off was an apt demonstration of him mellowing.

    Dudley was great too. The hints of self-recrimination sprinkled throughout the story were well done, and captured his regret over past events perfectly. They were there and evident, but not exaggerated. It was a perfect balance. I like it.

    Your OCs were handled well too. The childish voice of Daisy, along with her two brothers, was nailed. Amanda was characterized well too. I could just imagine her, epitome of a concerned mother, worrying about losing her daughter and being helpless about it. I've literally never seen such a great characterization of OCs. Well done.

    The only criticism I have is a bit of a nitpick. There were just a few spelling errors here and there. Some pluralization was done using apostrophes (guardian's rather than guardians is an example I recall). Some punctuation errors were there too, wherein the quotation marks to denote speech were absent. But that's just about it.

    This story is the easiest 5/5 I've ever seen. It's perfectly executed, slots well into canon, and is as close to perfect as you can get nowadays. Thanks for writing, and keep up the good work!
     
  9. Sorrows

    Sorrows Professor Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Thank you for the reviews. I know I really need to go back through this piece and give it a thorough grammar edit. There are probably a few scenes that could do with a little tweaking as well.
     
  10. Elaphites

    Elaphites Muggle

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    There was a kinda similar Writing Prompt on Reddit some time ago, it reminded me of this fic and made me want to read it again. I'm glad I did, it's as good as I remembered! I'm a shameless HP/DG shipper and most authors write Daphne as a very progressive witch, in order to "make it work" with Harry. It's not really a deviation from the canon, since she's non-existent in JKR's books, but it almost feels like cheating. Your version is way more interesting, the somehow mollified bigoted pureblood has much more personality!

    Your Dudley is perfect, your OC could be from JKR herself, the interactions feel very natural... oh and you made me cry, too. You'd probably deserve a better-written review but hey, I'm a lurker, not a critic.

    So, thank you!

    PS: I put a link to it on the Reddit thread, apparently a lot of people liked it too :)
     
  11. Shinysavage

    Shinysavage Madman With A Box Prestige

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    Are you sure you're reviewing the right story? Daphne isn't in this one...
     
  12. ScottPress

    ScottPress The Horny Sovereign Prestige

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    Bet he meant one of Republic's stories. I think it's called Uncle Harry.
     
  13. kelkorkesis

    kelkorkesis Squib

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    This is one of the most enjoyable stories I've encountered in fandom. It flows like a natural extension of canon. It put a big smile of my face during whole reading session.

    Characterizations were top notch. OC's were lovely. While you can observe the maturity the time brought, you can still see Harry and Dudley beneath it. Dudley's remorse for past event, his dialogues with Harry, the way people treats Harry... It is just beautiful. Yes, beautiful is the word to describe this story.

    5/5. I need more stuff like this in my life.