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Pet Peeves v.11

Discussion in 'FanFic Discussion' started by Dark Syaoran, Jun 10, 2016.

  1. Rhaegar I

    Rhaegar I Unspeakable

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    The friend zone is total nonsense. It was just invented so that some men could justify why that one woman they've been so nice to didn't immediately offer to have sex with them. Believe it or not, it is perfectly possible for a man (whose attracted to women) and women (who are attracted to men) to be just friends.

    With that said, I want to talk about The Gay Best Friend, which is in and of itself a pet peeve. When a gay man only exists in a story to serve as The Gay Best Friend, to do nothing but fulfill stereotypes about gay men, talk about that one guy the female protagonist likes, or otherwise act like the perfect boyfriend without actually being the boyfriend ("ew, lady parts are all icky"), then you're being about as progressive as any 90s movie/tv show that brought up gay men. And as this video demonstrates, that's not a compliment.
     
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2017
  2. Download

    Download Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

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    Parsel being the language of dragons.

    I'm fed up with it. Dragons are not snakes and 99% of the time it's used as an easy task solver.
     
  3. Tempestuous Ocean

    Tempestuous Ocean First Year

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    Giggling. Now, it's alright to giggle every now and then, but all the time?!

    This happens mostly in one paragraph, and it's not flirting or anything:
     
  4. Warlocke

    Warlocke Prisoner

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    What's nonsense is how people have jumped to use the term "friend zone" as yet another way to bash men.

    I could rant extensively about this but I'll leave it at: It's a gender neutral term used by both men and women, of various sexual persuasions, and that the word "immediately" contradicts the very nature of the situation that the phrase describes, which is one involving a relationship old enough to actually become a close friendship, and the long term yearning of someone for a close friend who doesn't reciprocate and possibly isn't even aware of their romantic feelings.
    ---

    And now some peeves that, honestly, the above is making me consider downgrading from peeve status.

    Elude/Allude
    Elude: To avoid or escape. "Proper grammar continues to elude you."
    Allude: To obliquely/indirectly make a reference to something. "I used the above example to allude to your astounding level of ignorance."

    Allusion/Illusion
    Allusion: An oblique/indirect reference to something, or the act of making such a reference. "The best man's speech made a very unsubtle allusion to the mother-of-the-bride's drinking problem."
    Illusion: A mirage, a false vision, a trick of optics or sleight of hand. Something that misleads. A mistaken or false idea one holds. "Clearly the perfect family image they project is just an illusion."
    ---

    "Lead on, Macduff."

    This has been around nearly as long as the correct phrase has, but I've just recently seen a spate of stories (old and new) using the phrase.

    It's supposed to be, "Lay on, Macduff(; And damned be him that first cries, ‘Hold, enough!')"

    Macduff wasn't leading jack shit, he wasn't taking Macbeth on a tour of the garden, this was Macbeth telling him to get on with their fight. It's the Shakespearean version of, "Bring it, asshole!"

    It's also a great example of why investing too much in a prophecy will only lead to you getting bent over and rogered roundly.
    ---

    ANYONE WHO USES "ITCH" WHEN THEY MEAN "SCRATCH!" WERE YOU LITERALLY RAISED BY TRAINED CHIMPS?

    If you have an itch, you scratch it. You don't itch an itch, because that would be beyond idiotic. An itch, in the physical sense, is an irritated reaction in the flesh. One way of dealing with this unpleasant sensation is to scratch it. A metaphorical itch, meaning urge, is dealt with by giving in to said urge in some way, thus metaphorically scratching it. Either way, physically or metaphorically, saying you're going to itch an itch is simpleminded on a level that makes me suspect what's sitting atop your neck is actually a gourd of some sort, and you are in distinct peril every Halloween or any time someone wielding a melon-baller is in the vicinity.

    It's like saying, "I have to car to work, now." instead of, "I have to drive to work, now."
    or perhaps more apropos, "I have to mess this mess." instead of, "I have to clean this mess."
    ---

    "Kids"
    Look, I have no problem with the word and make frequent use of it to describe children; having said that, it should be treated as slang or at least very casual speech when you are writing.

    In fiction, unless your story has a casual, slang-using, narrator, then the word 'kid(s)' shouldn't be used in the narrative text. Where dialog is concerned, it should not be used by any character that wouldn't use slang or casual speech. Many doctors, other professionals, people with upper class mannerisms, and any characters with gravitas and an air of moral authority should not be throwing that word around when talking about children.

    Dumbledore is a prime example of this. One should avoid having the word 'kid' come out of his mouth at all costs, unless he's talking about his brother's goats. Child(ren), youth(s), student(s)... there are more than enough words for young people that you should never need to resort to having someone with Dumbledore's bearing say 'kid'.

    Need an illustration?

    Dumbledore is out in the English countryside with Moody, trying to find the ring horcrux. He accidentally steps in dog poop. Which of the following lines is more appropriate for a character of his education, bearing, and societal standing? Which has more gravitas?

    "Alas, one should endeavor look before they leap." Dumbledore sighed, and with a negligent wave of his wand, the mess was banished to a nearby compost heap.

    OR

    "Fuck me! Looks like I just stepped in dog shit!" Dumbledore exclaimed, and proceeded to hop about on one foot, kicking to and fro with the other, in a reckless attempt to fling the offending muck from his boot that left Moody throwing up a shield charm.

    The answer, obviously, is the first line, even though he should know that putting carnivore feces in a compost heap is an invitation for parasites.

    I realize writing dialog for a character who is, in all likelihood, smarter than you are is a tall order, but some things should be obvious.
     
  5. lopeck

    lopeck Second Year

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    I would totally read a story where Dumbledore curses like a sailor as soon as he is on holiday and away from the students and his fellow professors. It reminds me of some of Rorschach's Blots old stories, so maybe it's just a nostalgia thing.
     
  6. Taure

    Taure Magical Core Enthusiast Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Basically it's just a modern turn of phrase for the old-as-time "unrequited love". Apparently that's sexist now.
     
  7. James

    James Groundskeeper

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    Also, @Warlocke, thumbs up.
     
  8. Seyllian

    Seyllian Professor DLP Supporter

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    Itch: (verb) Informal. to scratch (a part that itches):
     
  9. Warlocke

    Warlocke Prisoner

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    Definitions added solely because "1 million idiots can't be wrong" don't count.

    See flout/flaunt.