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WIP The Half-Blood Romantic by Sophprosyne - M

Discussion in 'Romance' started by Taure, Sep 3, 2017.

  1. Seyllian

    Seyllian Auror DLP Supporter

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    Extremely good story. The writing was quite good, and grammatical issues were sparse. The characterizations were interesting and each character felt that they had their own personality. Fleur was easily the best character in this, and Harry is a bit too introspective for a 16 year old. Nonetheless, a solid 4.5/5 for me. I'm really just holding out on the 5/5 until we see this writer's Dumbledore and then will pass my judgement.

    I am a bit confused about where this is going with Regards to the trio's interactions as
    Ron has the Half-Blood Prince's textbook and he won the Felix Felicis.
     
  2. Ludwig

    Ludwig Third Year

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    Just finished the latest chapter. I have to agree with Taure on the potential it has to be 5/5.

    The bit with Ginny and Harry nearing the end of the third chapter was a bit too forward for me, I don't know how to explain it well. The whole scene of him walking Ginny to the common room felt like a parallel to Fleur walking with him at the end of the second chapter, it brought my mind back to the second chapter and I think it was too early for that.

    The whole Slughorn/Weatherby thing can easily be shrugged off, didn't bother me at all.

    The story is well-written so far and I'm looking forward to future chapters. Hard to give it a rating so early, but I'll stick with a 4/5 for now.
     
  3. Jarizok

    Jarizok Groundskeeper

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    And what's your excuse for Sophprosyne?

    I kid, I kid.

    Keep on keeping on please. If the best we can come up with as criticism is details and "prose isn't flashy enough", you know it's good.
     
  4. Moukaboy

    Moukaboy Banned

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    Gotta block that smut u_u
     
  5. Anarchy

    Anarchy Fourth Champion DLP Supporter

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    Where the hell is that quote from?
     
  6. Moukaboy

    Moukaboy Banned

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    Yea what the actual fuck , i was trying to quote @Plothole , why does it have your name
     
  7. Sauce Bauss

    Sauce Bauss Headmaster DLP Supporter

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    So, the characterization of Fleur is fun. She's a lot more complex and well-presented than 90% of the fics featuring her.

    The prose is wooden and awkward almost as a rule, though. The epitome of telling, it felt like an emotionless recounting of the narrative from Harry. His portrayal is okay, but it's still very much on the descriptive side. You tell us what he feels, instead of demonstrating it. It's also a bit too monologuish in his head, he/the narrative picks a topic and then runs with it for several paragraphs. It's like somebody overexplaining a topic you already have a grasp of. His level of self analysis feels like one of those stories written by a teenage Dexter fan who's channeling what they think a sociopath is like. Not that he is, but the step by step introspection of every relationship he has is jarring.

    Ron getting the Half Blood Prince's book is great. It allows Ron to excel, not entirely on his own merits, which sets the stage for some real conflict and growth within the trio. Hermione was jealous of Harry, and Ron is even less academically inclined.

    Were I to rate this today, it'd probably be a 3/5. I'll refrain, since I'm confident you'll take the concrit you've gotten in thread and apply it during the editing process. I'm looking forward to the next update, at the very least.
     
  8. DerHesse

    DerHesse High Inquisitor

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    I'm really glad for the recommendation, this is easily one of the most enjoyable fics I've read in recent months.

    I especially like the way the characters and situation feel down-to-earth, nothing feels too epic or over-the-top, which makes it very immersive and relatable.
    5/5

    PS.
    @Plothole I also enjoyed your other fic Hunting the Grim.
     
  9. Seyllian

    Seyllian Auror DLP Supporter

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    If it weren't Fleur do you all think that the reception would be much worse to this fic?
     
  10. Moukaboy

    Moukaboy Banned

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    I mean the reason this fic is so well received is because the author writes a good Fleur , so it really depends on whether her alternative is good or no .

    Ofc if he goes with something that we've seen done well a lot before/a more popular girl it wouldn't be as good ( like Ginny or Hermione)
    Ginny here is more of a contrast to Fleur
     
  11. TheTycat

    TheTycat First Year

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    Fleur carries this story. By the end of the current chapter, I was skimming the non Fleur parts for plot details. Harry is just too detached from and critical of the other characters for their friendships to hook me. It just feels like all the effort went into nailing Fleur's character. Everyone else is a combo of stale traits, and Harry is there to pick them all apart and tell us everyone's inner thoughts and motivations.
     
  12. Lord Murtaza

    Lord Murtaza First Year

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    If I may ask, are you studying in some Middle Eastern/South Asian country?
     
  13. Plothole

    Plothole Fourth Year

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    I'll post in the WBA. Not sure about using a VPN since I don't really want to spend the money just to update on FFN.

    England, actually, which just makes the blocked sites more surprising.
     
  14. Moukaboy

    Moukaboy Banned

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    Wasn't there talk of this happening lately ? i admit i haven't followed it closely but i head porn websites (and some other stuff) were closed
     
  15. Al'Akir

    Al'Akir Third Year

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  16. Blinker

    Blinker Sixth Year DLP Supporter

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    This hasn't happened yet, I imagine any banning is happening at a local level, back when I was at uni they imposed a filter in halls.
     
  17. Ludwig

    Ludwig Third Year

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    A filter in halls so people don't watch pornography while heading to class? I'd be screwed if that was in my school, watching porn at school was the biggest fad during my days as a high schooler.
     
  18. Taure

    Taure Magical Core Enthusiast Prestige DLP Supporter

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    If Plothole is living with a host family or something, it seems more likely that his parents have not opted out of the ISP-level porn filter which certain ISPs have implemented (and the others will have to soon).
     
  19. Moukaboy

    Moukaboy Banned

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    Like you'd watch in group ? WeW
     
  20. Ludwig

    Ludwig Third Year

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    Hell Yeah. Just put it on the projector and enjoy.