WIP Transgression by Crukix - Pokemon

Discussion in 'Games' started by Plotless, Apr 3, 2016.

  1. Plotless

    Plotless Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2015
    Messages:
    397
    Location:
    England
    Title: Transgression
    Author: Crukix
    Rating: T
    Status: WIP
    Fandoms: Pokemon
    Pairings: None, apart from an OC/OC in the background.
    Summary: One by one, I witness the fall of myths, of legends, of gods. As the world mourns and falls apart, I can't help but wonder if I'm the cause or the coincidence.
    Link: Transgression

    I'll start by saying that this is the second pokemon fic that I actually managed to get to the end of.

    The story follows a girl who finds a dead legendary pokemon, and has to flee since others who have found legendaries have a habit of disappearing without warning.

    I just really like this story.

    It isn't perfect, but in the pokemon fandom it's pretty damn close to the best there is. It has good character development, an engaging story, good writing, characters who you actually care about, a realistic portrayal of the pokemon world.

    The story is almost completely OC-based, other than the token gym leaders who we see little of and an off-hand reference to Red. I presonally prefer this to using the characters in the anime/manga, since it gives more room to innovate with the world of pokemon.

    I'm not great at writing what I feel about this fic, so I hope someone else will save me from the awkward word-spew of a review by adding their opinion while I read the author's other 520k word fic.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 14, 2016
  2. Thaumologist

    Thaumologist Chief Warlock

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2011
    Messages:
    1,451
    Location:
    Chester, England
    I do like this story, although much like the author's previous one, I feel that the POV character doesn't have the best voice - they're supposed to be a child, and whilst that does definitely come across sometimes, there are great periods where I remember thinking they were older. The Hypno (Drowzee?) is actually quite a good way of making the character seem her age - the complaints are phrased as a child would use them.

    The mystery behind everything is interesting, but because the update rate is a bit slow, I tend to forget most of it between updates. I also haven't been re-reading, and I probably won't be for a while yet.

    It is a good story, and I would rec it, but 4.5/5 rounded down to 4/5 for me, although that could go up when it's done and I actually read it through and remember everything.
     
  3. Unresolved

    Unresolved Squib

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2014
    Messages:
    15
    I just read the story and I'd give it a 4.5 rounded down to a 4. I thought that the plot was engaging and I was always interested in what was going to happen next. The regions are more interconnected than I've read in any other pokemon fanfiction and that was pretty interesting to read about. Though in some ways the sheer scope of the region detracts from the story because you don't really learn enough about each region and it feels like the main character just hops from region to region (which she does).

    There were a few things that bothered me in the story, most of them personal issues. First is that I really didn't enjoy reading from the POV of a 10 year old girl. The author wrote her well for the most part, but I can't relate to her at all. I just found myself annoyed very often because I couldn't put myself in her shoes since I disagreed with most of the character's thought-processes. Again, it wasn't an issue with the way the author developed the main character, it was just not a POV that I want to continue reading.

    Also, I really disliked every single "special" gym battle. They seemed incredibly contrived and would fit more in a Legend of Zelda video game where Link is on a quest rather than the realistic world that the author was building. And some of them straight up broke my immersion in the story such as Blaine's completely over-the-top test.
    I don't know what kind of education they're giving out at Anville, but I'd tell them exactly where they could shove the suicide button if that were me.

    Lastly, interludes. I hate them. I've never read an interlude that I enjoyed outside of The Unsuspecting Side of the Force.
     
  4. inshooteki

    inshooteki Squib

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2014
    Messages:
    11
    This is a good fic with realistic characters and an interesting premise. The concept behind collecting gym badges is refreshingly new. The battles and challenges are well written, especially for a pokemon fic.

    The only issue I have is that the story flip flops between the anime fantasy world and the typical grim dark fanfiction. There are moments that could have been straight out of the anime interlaced with these really gritty blood and guts parts. Kind of disconcerting but not a deal breaker.

    4/5