Also, the Vanishing spell is a fourth year spell. Meaning that the kids must be potty trained and there have to be toilets for them to use.
...
Unless every pureblood family had house elves following their kids and clean up after them until they learned the spell.
...
Well that painted a pretty picture don't it.

 

Really skilled mages are said to be able to apparate their shit out. I am guessing this means while it is still in their intestines, so Flamel probably doesn't have any use for muggle plumbing anyway. He may have a nice compost stash in one of his states in France, though.

 

They probably had designated shitting corridors at Hogwarts. You know, to keep things tidy.

 

Wouldn't it just be easier to invent a spell that voids your bowels and turns the contents into oxygen or some something? That way they could do away with having to take a dump all together and look down on Muggles as lower life forms that still need to go to the bathroom like the average magical child.

 

Quintapeds exist. The only reason why wizards still expel bowel movements is because no one is crazy enough to try such a transfiguration. Just transfigure the stomach acid into basilisk venom and stomach lining into a phoenix tear membrane so literally everything is dissolved and you never need to shit or pee.

But that's the kind of thing that a muggle wank fic would say to dunk on wizards. "Just transfigure your biology, duh. Also, have wizards ever been to the Moon? Checkmate, purebloods."

 

Well we all know that muggles didn't actually go to the moon either.

 

Ron hiked up his robes and pulled out a set of six sides die, which immediately started screaming at one another, to Harry's surprise.

Harry, it's wizard Craps.

 

It's a reference to the urban myth that before modern plumbing, castle dwellers used to shit and piss in the halls where they stood. As is commonly believed about 18th C Versailles. But in fact courtiers used to take their chamber pots and closed stools with them wherever they went --- think ladies just placing underneath their massive skirts in the midst of lengthy entertainment events.

Actually crapping in public was a rare enough occasion it was historically notable, as when one afternoon Madame du Barry from her room above pissed on her rival Marie Antoinette passing by in the courtyard.

 

I'm not sure I'd equate shitting in public to pissing on the public.

 

Well... I guess you can say Hogwarts also has a... *pulls on sunglasses* Chamber of Shit-crets! YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

 

I saw the second reveal of this discusting revelation, and remembered cowriting this:
https://forums.darklordpotter.net/threads/drabble-vomit-thread.22052/page-5#post-603748

 

Putting the vomit in drabble vomit, outstanding

 

Edit: whoops, wrong thread.

 

Suddenly, I am saddened by the lack of Harry Potter/Goblin Slayer crossovers.

 

The Firebird Trilogy by Darth Marrs is basically a HP/GS crossover.

 

Unfortunately it's also written by Darth Marrs.

 

Image broken.