Title: Whirlpool
Author: Rickion Invictus
Rating: M
Status: Complete
Rating: T (i'm guessing, no official rating)
Genre: AU Crossover
Chapters: 7
Words: 31k
Updated: 1/5/19
Published: 8/25/18
Status: Complete (sequel coming)
Fandom: Worm / Naruto
Pairings: None
Link: https://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/whirlpool-worm-naruto.674303/

Summary: Naruto punches an Endbringer in the face.


I searched and didn't see this fic anywhere here so decided to post it. I really enjoyed it. More than I expected. I went in expecting it to just be a fun fic, but nothing special. And it was fun... but also had a lot of subtly. I got surprisingly engaged as I read it, and it was just an all around satisfying experience. I thought he nailed adult Naruto's characterization *perfectly.* And I had a great time watching all the worm folks try to deal with him.

There is no real author summary. But essentially the premise to the story is that when Kawakai gets rid of Hokage Naruto, he does so by sending him to a different dimension.... specifically worm in the middle of Leviathan's attack on Brockton Bay.

The story isn't super plot driven. Its more character reaction and pure-action driven. So perhaps not for everyone, or people looking for angst epic-length stories. But it was just so much fun to my eyes. It doesn't pretend to be something it isn't, and achieves its goals perfectly.

Basic Knowledge of WORM will help with your understanding of some of the points of the fic, but I think you can enjoy it either way.

 

The fight between the Endbringer and Naruto was engaging and Naruto seemed like an adult Hokage Naruto.
4/5 for now, but it is only 31k and slow on updates. So I'm not getting my hopes up.

 

This is pretty crap. Once you move past the cliche idea of pitting Naruto against a universes' big bad, you're left with below-mediocre writing and non-existent characterization. It would be an embarrassment if this got into the library.

2/5
--- Post automerged ---
Actually, no this is super trash 1/5.

 

Heh, I suppose you can vote for whatever reasons you want. But ive got to be honest, that struck me as more voting to try and sabotage something than an honest vote. I mean, different folks different strokes, and I hardly expect everyone to agree on whether a fic is good or worthy of the library. But the idea that it is honestly analyzed as 1/5 is kinda hard for me to swallow based on what ive seen that rating assigned to before.

May be cynical of me, but looks like you rated it 2/5, saw enough other people liked it that it was maybe getting into the library anyway if you voted 2/5.... and so you then changed your vote to 1/5. I mean again, vote as you want. And hey, if the fic can't overcome one person throwing an arbitrary 1/5 in there, its probably not ready for the library. But yeah i gotta admit I kind of looked at you oddly for your reaction there.

 

See here's the thing, I voted on it based on the first chapter. Then I kept on reading and it got worse and worse. Here's my scale.

5/5 -- masterpiece
4/5 -- very fucking good
3/5 -- good
2/5 -- decent
1/5 -- trash

I read it. I don't think its decent. The writing itself is weak, but that can be overcome in certain instances. This story, however, did not excel in enough other areas to offset it.

 

There are quite a few problems I have with this fic.

A lot of the action scenes, to me, are confusing and messy. There are times when I honestly have a very difficult time imagining what the author is describing. There are also sentences in the narration that can sometimes take me out of what's happening in the story, like an odd joke thrown in during a character's internal narration while they're in a deadly fight and that doesn't really fit the situation or sound like something the character would say. Speaking of character's, some of their reactions to Naruto

Spoiler

sending Levithan to space

can be...underwhelming, for lack of a better word, when you consider just how monumental an event like that is.

But, there are good things here. I find Naruto and Kurama to be portrayed rather well. And while there are a lot of action scenes that are muddled, there are some that are fairly-well constructed and engaging. And unlike with a lot of Naruto crossovers, this one doesn't fall into the trap of making the "weaker" side of characters look like incompetent morons.

Overall, I would give this fic a 3/5. It's not crap, but there are definitely some areas the author could improve on.