As stated above it did seem a little rushed at the end but it was to funny to matter. Really the cure was an orgasm that was funny. Altough I think you should do another chapter if simply for Neville's reaction to his mom 'waking up'.

 

Damn Vash, you get more messed up every day. Please, please, do a sequel!

 

Thank you, Crazy. I do enjoy getting all demented like that. Beta'ed versions are now uploaded. Dwitbal is to credit for that as well as several ideas, such as Alice mistaking Harry for James.

 

yep still love it, the whole alice mistaking harry for james thing makes its for me. good work and btw love the stick aviator, it rocks. peace out lol. i am really drunk wooooo. 6/5

 

Oh dear lord that was a laugh! Right on Vash, this is why I love your stories; they are unique have good sense of fun, and just plain rock!

Psh, who needs a sequel, you other perverts can come up with something on your own. (Nothin personal)

 

Here is my long-due review.

You were right... That was sick. Not as sick as the "Give mummy more of your love" bit that you inflicted upon me last time on IRC chat, but extremely sick nonetheless.

Therefore I am slightly worried that I enjoyed it so much. That was brilliant. Perfect descriptions, especially Alice's childish behaviour; great choice of words when describing Harry's thoughts and state of mind; and the cherry on the top: your adding the right sentences/twist to remind me just how perverse the whole thing is, precisely when I am starting to get used to the idea... Such as,

Spoiler

With the same gentleness he treated his child patients with, Harry rolled Alice so that she was kneeling over the side of the bed as he approached from behind.

...and of course, Neville's bursting in.

The switching to Alice's PoV was a little sudden, and maybe it could've been better prepared... I had to read the beginning of the paragraph twice before understanding it was in her PoV. Though it may be because I'm particularly slow. It was a great idea though, and her mistaking Harry for James was a very nice twist too, so congrats to Dwitbal. Of course, I could be picky and say that by the time Alice was tortured, James was already dead and Harry already had a scar on his forehead =). But that's a detail.

So, all in all, wonderful little story; if I could write smut (and if I had the time to do so), I would ask your permission to translate it. Alas, as I lack in both the skill and the time, the French population shall remain deprived of this little jewel...

Last thing: the title is an idea of genius.

 

I am going to need serious therapy after that (and I think so is Neville). Vash you sick bastard you! What's next??

 

Vash the fact that you are losing flames is that people who don't want to read your work have learned to avoid it. However for the DLP your horrors shall crawl the restricted section for all time.

And there shall be much rejoicing.

The only plot hole in this story is the fact that Harry is having trouble getting sex. He killed Voldemort, he's the savior of the wizarding world. He should have no problem getting sex.

Everything else in this story was brilliant and flowed well. Neville's reaction and Alice's Childlike behavior all made sense.

I disagree with Tinn Tam on the change of PoV, but he has probably more experience at this kind of thing.

5/5 and a Internet cookie. You have once again proved you are the king of this kind of Fanfiction.

 

Pretty evil. I am speechless.

 

this is probably one of the funniest and better one shots i have ever read.
I absolutely loved it
Hope you do a sequel. lol

 

Whoa, that's exactly what I thought when I got to the end! I think this embodies everything I look for in a one shot.

 

DAMMIT NOOBS! I THOUGHT IT WAS AN UPDATE!

Check the damn datestamp of the last post you numbskulls. '06?!? Ever hear of a necropost! DON'T DO IT!

Fuckin newbies...

 

No, I meant Nexus who posted TWO YEARS ago should have been the last comment on this thread unless there was an update. And for a thread this old, two months makes it a second necro in all to short an amount of time. So unless you have something more worthwhile than pointless criticism to add...

 

As much as I liked this in my edgy/horny teen years, I'm fairly sure it's closer to a 3/5 probably lower but I'm nostalgic. It's no great work despite being decently written, just some fucked up smut.

 

This is likely the oldest necro on DLP haha. Almost 11 years.

Not sure it’s bad, ie, it’s in the library, but borderline.

 

Just some fucked up smut?

Excuse you, but Vash is the finest purveyor of fucked up smut in the history of this wretched hive.