Inspired by the "best opening line to a book" thread but also the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest which challenges its participants to write the worst possible opening line to a book.

So what's the worst opening you can imagine, DLP? Whether it be in the context of a book or a fanfic, whether it contains vile puns, purple prose, just a general abuse of English or metaphors more tortured than Neville's parents, whatever the genre conceit or the plot that's about to unfold: hit us with your worst shot.

 

“Number 4, Privet Drive had changed very little in the ten years since Victoria Potter had appeared on the door step.”

 

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!

Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee

 

The twenty-six-year-old dark-haired witch furrowed her thinly plucked eyebrows into a frown as the edges of her mouth pinched downwards to accompany her frown.

 

Class ended in five minutes and all I could think was, an hour is too long for lunch.

 

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth

 

Lmao it's Worm.

 

It's not the best or most aesthetically pleasing opener, but as a writer I would say that it's decent, because it offers some meaningful characterization - the protagonist thinks lunch is too long -> hints of being a social outcast/bullying etc.

 

"Who is John Galt?"

 

I just hate the formatting of it tbh, though I have to laugh that the first look into Taylor's mind is of her complaining.

 

Should have been Tyalor being utterly self-righteous - that'll be even more on point rofl.