I’m of two minds about this fic, it’s definitely competent. However, there’s some major plot shenanigans in the year two plot that don’t really make sense. Year three also has a weird twist that will have an even weirder outcome if the author is that determined to do the stations of the cross variants. Characters and their relationships are well written. 3.5/5

 

Picked this up 2-3 weeks ago and stalled at chapter 5 of year one.

Thanks for posting, will go back to this and also check out Red and Silver.

 

I've been reading for a while and the style is really good. The only thing that really bothers me are the increasingly shorter chapters. I agree that the relationship between the characters is the highlight, but this following the canon thing bothers me. It's time to explore more original territories in terms of events.

And where can i read Red and Silver?

 

It's two titles. One fanfic is called Red, the other, Silver, both by the same author, and you can find them here, in HP section of WbA, or just google it and you'll get FFN result.

About the fic, I've read it some time ago and I'm glad to see new chapters coming forth. Since it's been some time, I don't properly remember everything, but I do think the plot has been somewhat transparent in the first year, and bit stretched too thin in a second. I don't mind that much, since it didn't drag on, and we got the nice amount of character and magic building, as well as some growth, but it still made me skim some parts to reach the closest dialogue.

I've just read the third year, and it certainly takes the sharper turn and I would love it to continue. At this point it seems the problem I've had earlier will disappear as I am actually looking forward to see how the changes would manifest into difference to the canon.

I think the best parts of this fic to me are just Harry talking to someone, Harry wondering about things, and Harry finding things out. So about Christmas - Just before the shit happens has been excellent 5/5, the preHogwarts and the Bella and Voldemort PoV I'm not entirely sold off to as of yet, since there's a crucial bit of info missing that I find more annoying than mystery tbh, so I'd put that bits to 3.5/5, and then there's the shit happening part which is solid but too close to canon to give it any real thought.

Pretty enjoyable all in all, and it hits some sweet spots that's more me than meaning it's good, but I'm pretty solid on this being 4/5 with a good chance to becoming 5/5 if the plot grows into something new and exciting.

 

I might come back to it later, but it feels like a pretty bland canon rehash to me so far. It might get better, but there was nothing in the first few chapters that I found particularly engaging or noteworthy. It's well written, sure, but it also directly rips lines from canon and uses a few too many cliches.

I'd probably give it a 2.5/5, but I don't want to rate something that I've only read a couple of chapters of.

 

As of the end of chapter 4, the fic is average, if not for Emily. Her name is plastered everywhere and her damned books are used to explain everything.

I'm getting the feeling that the plot is serving to show us Emily's work and not the other way round.

I'll continue reading and edit my review.

2/5

 

I'd echo Drachna so far at least. For those who really enjoyed it, when does it get good? Happy to keep reading, but probably not a full year.

Also:

Spoiler

It's incredibly obvious that Emily is Voldemort, right. They're not even trying to hint otherwise.

 

I enjoyed this quite a lot, and binged it all in one night.

It's held back a little by the desire to stick so closely to the canon timeline in spite of the many divergences, really making it feel as though the plot is just a backdrop against which we can see Harry and Emily interact.

To be fair this is the key selling point of the fic and is done excellently, for the most part. It's a little passive, but the nature of interacting mostly through the medium of a diary/notebook makes this hard to avoid.

Harry is a little mopey about their relationship at times, but there's no angsty bullshit. It's a clear case of having strong feelings, processing them, and then compartmentalizing them and doing something about them. A welcome respite from people writing like slash authors.

It's a strong 4. Could easily turn to a 5 if there was just a little more going on. Which feels like we're on the verge of, at the current point in the story.

 

I've quite enjoyed keeping up with this, and it's one of the only pure HP fics to have caught my interest in some time. It is adhering perhaps too strongly to the stations of canon thus far, but I have high hopes that third/fourth year will see large divergences at play.

The character work is very strong, which is honestly the thing I care most about in fic in my old age.

The mystery of the altered prophecy is whatever, not nearly as gripping as the author likely intends it to be.

All in all, 4/5 and something I actually check for updates actively. Not something I can say for many fics anymore.

 

Of course it's obvious, I don't think the story even tries to hide that. And that's not the point in my opinion, it's more about the development of the relationship with Harry and the things that happen from that relationship.

But to be honest, the beginning is really slow, I think every fic that starts in the first year is slow, at least the good ones. For me it started to get really good in the second year, and the ending is the high point of this story so far. Of course, not having the patience to read thousands of words to get to the good part is understandable, especially if fics that follow canon so closely are not your favorite thing.

 

This gets better as you go along, with things picking up somewhere around the middle of year two.

The writing is relatively inoffensive, though emerald orbs do pop up now and again.

It feels like an old school fic in spirit, good For Want of a Nail, but it's not necessarily as aware of the HP fic meta as you'd expect of recent fics.

Which can also be refreshing. While we see shades of AO3!Harry, where he comes across less emotionally resilient. As is typical of AO3!Harry, he's more ambitious, studious, deliberate and clever, while also somehow ... not very bright at times ... because the plot needs him to be.

Spoiler

Glaring example: how does he not recognise Baker in the diary, despite all the hints and ... knowing Emily's handwriting. Wishful thinking? Anyway, it was easy enough to suspend disbelief and keep going.

As the story progresses, the little differences become larger. Somewhere in year two, seeing POVs of Hermione, Ron, and Neville feel less jarring.

We see differences between those three + Harry and their canon counterparts. Especially the ending to year two, which was killer.

Finally a believable arc for Neville. He's not a stand-in for canon!Harry. We're not straying too far from the stations of canon, but circumstances are different now. So, Ron and Hermione read like they're the same characters from canon, but with Neville completing the trio, things play out differently.

Emily plays a significant role in shaping this Harry, and yet the absence of Ron and Hermione is felt. This is further highlighted through Nott and to a lesser extent, Daphne, who are decidedly not Ron and Hermione.

All the while, no one is seen waxing poetic about the old ways and wizengamot seats.

Fresh.

Year one was a bit of a slog, but this story kept getting better and more engaging. The prose holds the story back; it's not in the same tier as Hunting the Grim, and nowhere near Certain Dark Things.

But it's a solid fic, it has scope. It's not another boring Slytherin politics fic, nor one of those convoluted stories where Harry is Voldemort's sub (yet).

This Harry is driven and determined. He doesn't mope forever and takes deliberate action. There's enough going on to keep you engaged but not so much that it feels like Prince of Slytherin.

Or worse, so little going on that it's just a hurt/comfort fic with a dash of training montage wankery.

All in all, this is an easy 3/5. Could be a 4, depending on how things progress.

 

I picked the fic up again, and the first 5 chapters were terrible. It gets better, but my chief complaint about excess focus on the Harry-Emily dynamic remains. Several iconic moments of canon are handed to Emily and each one makes you keenly aware of the sheer bareness of the story. I like the bits of the story that are not Harry or Emily; I think the story would be much better if their dynamic was reworked to allow other characters more say (which happens to an insufficient degree in year 2 and seems to be the case so far in year 3).

It strikes me as a poorer Blood Crest: Strong and inquisitive Harry, but weak when it comes to where it matters: Voldemort. While that story has a genuinely powerful Voldemort that makes this understandable, and bold worldbuilding, this story relies upon Harry's affection (which has been unconvincing).

There were some parts that didn't make sense, like the resolution to second year (Emily survived the killing curse? Also, the basilisk is just there if you suspect the job is incomplete).

Read till chapter 34.

EDIT:

Completed all of third year. Much better writing, though I can't see how anyone could like this plot. Harry is unreasonably protective of Bellatrix and Voldemort. The only reason he could be so stupid would be him being ruled entirely by his horcrux. He literally stood by and allowed Lupin's death at Lestrange's hands, even gave away his invisibility cloak for her escape!?

3/5