I'd say I'm affronted .... but it'd be a lie. Statistics like rep and review count really do mean bugger all.

It's vaguely amusing. The only bits that have made me chuckle are the random interjections of Gio and Boa. Watching JBern fail when it comes to countering Bio has been fairly amusing also.

 

They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.
I say it's better than no wit.

Okay, I gotta revise, this is worse than no wit. This is pretty much anti-wit.

I must repeat myself, new/original doesn't mean good.

Apparently you are delusional enough to think you may get published one day, but you can't even defend yourself against anything of what I said or even say why your story is any good (except for all that is disproven without challenge). Or is it that you just didn't understand it again? Let me reiterate then.

YOUR STORY IS NOT GREAT OR GOOD! IT IS DECENT AT BEST, AND IT BEING UNIQUE (WHICH IS A) NOT EVEN TRUE AND B) JUST ANOTHER WORD FOR SPESHUL) AND/OR HAVING MANY FANS DOES NOT MAKE IT ANY BETTER!

I hope you were able to understand this.

 

It's pretty hard to counter BioPlague.

Stop pretending to not be serious or furious, jbern (Hurr hurr, "I'm doing this for my amusement"). You're automatically serious cause you're a 40 year old janitor who's replying to a troll. You're automatically furious cause you're a 40 year old janitor who's replying to a troll.

If you want to keep doing exactly what World's described keep replying, which in turn just shows how easily it is to get under your skin. Try responding to your critics too. You covered the Sorting Hat. What about your lack of dynamic characters, shitty creations like Dodgespell, terrible 1st Person, cliched strong Harry that bangs beautiful women and terrible dialogue?

I mean - I don't want to be an author but how are you different from any of the other ordinary people who write fanfiction? So Emma Lipardi's going to be an author, jbern? Is that it? Are Rorsch, RossWrock, Jeconais and other writers who appeal to the largest common denominator going to be authors too? Or what is an author to you? Is it someone who writes an awesome and inventive medieval story that involves Elves and Goblins?

Or do you actually have to sell a copy? Where do you stand out?

As I've said: off the high-horse jbern. Wouldn't want to end up like Christopher Reeves.

For you Jbern: Live Review of your Stories

 

Weeeelllll..... Aside from the mindless cliche of a bazillion years ago that a picture is worth a thousand words...

Speaking of, I always get the image of Jbern as something similar to:



But back to the topic on hand. You expected more? The small bit relevant to myself not withstanding, there was nothing I felt worthy of commenting on. However, your petty attempt at a witty and cutting remarks failed.

Im sure Bio will be absolutely devastated to hear that. I mean, as much as he talks about how cool you are and about how he wants to be just like you when he grows up. I dont know if he'll ever recover.

The reference is quite obviously lost upon you, for all you and yours kicked the dust up over Potters Place 3 and such.

I would further explain my likening you to Kinsfire, however it would, in true /DLP/ fashion, spin horridly out of control, involve uncalled for rape jokes, and someone would end up banned. So lets use our imagination, pretend it happened and continue onward.

Yours is tastefully done? Its Harry Potter smut. Its not the fucking script to Jenna Jameson's comeback movie. You take this shit way to seriously, Jimmy.

As for mine? TO quote Syaoran: Its read because its lawlzy and over the top. As I meant to write it. But whatever, I never said it was the best written smut around. Just that it was written.

But me? The Pedo? Oh Im sure if you ask our IRCholes, you'd get an affirmative, and fuck, I'll not deny that I've ran with those jokes. So yeah. Here is my membership card to the HPFF Pedo Club. I'm sure you just misplaced yours, though. I mean, you are a nearly 40-ish year old writing about 16 year olds fucking. How much more pedo can you get?

... that story in S&P I posted where 17 year old Harry rapes the first year, not counting.

We are well aware of what your name is, Jim. Please. Put your E-peen away and stop that. No one is going to suck you off here except maybe IP82 or whatever the hell his name is. Perhaps the rest of the Alfa Fight Krub. I hear Japanese Jew has quite the hard on for you. Why not follow most of them over to RC with the cumswapper and the wafflewhore?

Richard. (Am is still cooler.)

 

Who said white men can't dance. He has a nice voice. Deep an smooth. Like a strawberry thickshake.

 

You've been rickroll'd TEAOS.

 

Err... I thought you had to slip them a tease of porn before smacking them with the Astley to get properly rickrolled. Geesh. I'm so behind on my chan-speak. I guess just tricking them into clicking qualifies.

And I do wonder how many people think any of the primary peening parties (world, bio, jbern, vash, etc...) are genuinely upset in the slightest.

Though on the topic of name-calling, my favorite for Bio came when he went through his "I love GinnyPotter.com" phase, and someone called him "Bi-polar-Plague." That one was good. Haven't seen any names that resonated for me with jbern. Maybe gayburn? Like, "what the hell happened to Darius' knees? That's a bad gayburn."

Though I do find it particularly humorous that people seem to think Bio's "winning" or Jbern's "winning."

Carry on.

 

I don't think anyone actively arguing has any win left, but everyone watching has been elevated by the amusement.

 

Thats how it started out, I believe, but in true chan fashion, it has degraded to blatant Astley rape qualifying as RickRoll'd. Pity, since its original form held so much potential.

Quite frankly, this is the most offensive then said in this entire thread. I'll have you know I take my trolling seriously. Why, I am seething with fury as I write this now. The poor little Bandcamp bitches are staring at me funny as I pound away at the gir... Keyboard...

*shudders* The Nice Bio era. A dark, dark time for DLP.

But Bi-polar-plague was quite amusing. Personally, my favorite, aside from the fucking court jester. The hight of Bio's career. I'm excited to see where he takes it next.

Jbern's name just doesnt lend itself to mockery, save for being ... well... Jbern. Though I give you credit. Gayburn and Darius. Win. Much better than I could have come up with.

I do agree with that statement. Winning an internet argument is like Running in the special Olympics. You may win, but your still a retard.

And Yes. The Hypocracy is apparent to me.

 

Do you want to get started with me, Nonjon?

Edited for feelings, I must be getting soft in my old age

 

On a slightly different note, Kinsfire and Istar have sex.

 

* slaps pinky with his wide, slightly longer than average dick.

Don't say things like that! Children (i.e. Darius) (and fragile adults (i.e., all others)) are present.

 

Bio, what popular authors do you like? I mean, it seems you hate every one out there.

 

I don't fangirl/protect authors.

I do however enjoy stories by Net Girl, michelle-31a, Lord Ravenclaw, Jess S1, razzle-dazzle-me, Sith Lord Darth Revan and Tinn Tam. Usually, I don't care for the author and more for the story.

Shallow but I only review maybe one out of every twenty stories I read; then again, if you're writing for reviews it's probably not a good sign in the first place.

On the flip side, there's many authors I think that are definitely terrible (mechanical aspects of writing excluded). Blot. Jeconais. Kinsfire. jbern. Emma Lipardi. Regulus. Shezza88. Of them, only Shezza I don't mind because his personality isn't as irksome. Actually pretty cool. Everyone else should stop writing because they're pandering morons.

 

I hate you for reminding me of this.

 

LOLZ

YOU BROWNNOSER BIO!

GET YO HEAD OUTTA RAVENS ASSHOLE!

 

So World, writing something in all caps is supposed to make a difference? I didn’t realize the purpose of this thread was for me to vindicate my stories to you. Lets see, I could start by asking you what if anything you’ve done?
My stories, well they’re good for fanfiction and they’re a way for me to practice. As to what you’ve said, you’ve stated opinions and nothing more. So far you haven’t really made any points and hurled a few insults. I didn’t realize that I was required to defend myself from a nobody like you, but here goes.

Fans are no guarantee of quality, but it is difficult to ignore the sheer quantity. Same goes with reviews and what not. That doesn’t count in your book nor most every others because after all people are sheep and above all else only your opinion matters. You and only those select few like you have a unique insight into life and thus are far more qualified then all the other air suckers on the planet.

I could argue that if I wasn’t a good author I wouldn’t have been asked to join fanficauthors.net, but you would quickly counter that they have Kinsfire so they can’t be any good. Let’s see the other widely read authors asked me if I’d like to post on Jeconais’ site. Is it because my stories are so much like theirs? I don’t think so. So no matter how big the fanbase is it must not count because if it isn’t the sheep then it’s the author pandering to the masses.

Well let’s go to the stories themselves. In Darkness, Voldemort is actually doing something instead of just sitting on his throne. There’s been a few stories out there that show an assault on Azkaban, but again it isn’t the norm. Chapter 5, I spent half the chapter with Edgecombe and Higgs giving a look into the stark choices facing some of the purebloods. Chapter 6 I had Neville kill someone with the Knightbus. Let’s see, I gave characterization to Peter, Voldemort, Narcissa and even Goyle at one point. Neville hasn’t turned into some kind of kick ass butcher, he kills using the Knight Bus, Gillyweed, a broom jinx and mandrake.

Next there are the battle scenes. The Azkaban arc featured a nice warm up battle, followed by the ‘destroy all monsters’ battle that featured Aaragog’s POV with the battle being full of Spiders, Werewolves, a Necrodragon (other than Bungle how many stories have used an undead dragon), Norbert, Fluffy, Hagrid and finally Dumbledore versus Voldemort. Then the fight between Harry possessing Peter using his life debt (hmm has that been done before?) and Voldemort. The change in Harry sees in himself when he kills Lucius and an unnamed DE in cold blood. The aurors being presented with a modicum of organization. Oh wait, the power the dark lord knows not is a connection that allows Harry to draw power off the Dementors – but everyone does that don’t they. Harry losing it and chopping Snape to bits and him actually having to take time to deal with that and not just laughing it off.

Voldemort not being an expert in every branch of magic having to seek assistance in Jamaica. Dumbledore using the spiders in one chapter and selling them out to centaurs in the next chapter. Scrimgeour allying himself with Harry and I haven’t even touched on the politics, the threat of a draft, and the Goblins.

Wow, this is going on rather long and I haven’t even gotten out of my first story. Where are all your paper thin arguments now World, Bio and Vash. You can insult the mechanics all you want, but you can’t ignore the use of all of that in one story. My writing has flaws which you folks are more than willing to point out, but I am constantly trying to improve.

Let’s see if I can move this along a little with Bungle. Bio keeps trying to jump my shit about Dodgespell – bad memories of the red ball coming to get your pansy ass there mate? Hmm, I could have had Harry just play quidditch, but Karina pointed out that in that part of the world Quidditch is a rich man’s game and that most people who own brooms can’t afford to risk them. Not too many other stories develop a different game for the characters to play and I’ve not seen a single one involving a team duel. Somehow this doesn’t pass Bio’s originality meter. I’m so crushed.

I present the contrasting Brazilian magical education and for a change, the Brazilian Magical government is every bit if not more corrupt than the English one. The Native Americans get a bit of treatment and for a change European magic was much better than the magic of a far off land justifying why the Europeans overran the Americas.

Vash says he can come up with 6 other cursebreaking stories – big deal moron. Do they describe how wards work? Does the authors present any workable theories like I did? Again, you mock what you are incapable of doing.

Harry being an Animagus hardly new, but writing well means taking something and using it well. The animagus form played a large role in the story and was key to the final battle.

So how do you well read and well informed tools respond to that?
Your second argument is simply saying that my writing isn’t very good mechanically. It’s the only part where I’m willing to concede you have valid points. My punctuation and tense changes are things that continue to plague my writing. I suppose I could just quit like Bio seems to want, or I can keep working at it because I like doing this. You can try, but you can’t succeed at sucking the fun out of this for me. Like most of your other feeble efforts they just won’t work.

The Lie I’ve Lived was my first attempt at using first person. The first two chapters were rough, but I’m getting much better. Am I offended that you don’t like it. Not really, if either Vash or Bio had played in the challenge, it would be the story that was kicking their ass. So go ahead and put the story under the microscope, it only serves to improve my writing.

So, now that World and Bio are working on insulting my writing with their oh so eloquent arguments (Have I responded enough to you yet World?) with Vash sometimes chipping in something useless – Bio and Vash start with the personal attacks.

Bio calls me a janitor. I deny and provide a single (not 50) link to my company (that I own Momma’s boy.) He then says well, that my job will be exported to India or somewhere else in five years and when that doesn’t work goes back to calling me a janitor. Good thing you know the IT job market so well there buddy! Don’t quit your day job or what ever it is that you waste your time on.

Vash moves in with the pedo argument and that writing about teenagers having sex is pedophilia. You’re going to have to explain that one more to me. Writing about HP might make me a geek, but I’m no pedophile. Amazingly enough, sex is not a dominant theme in my stories, but it is in yours. Harry has it, but it doesn’t define the story. In Lie HJ is frustrated, because only girls the age of his body are interested in him. How does this somehow meet you definition of a pedo-writer? How do you match up to your definition of it Vash? If I somehow am one, you must be running out to register yourself as a sex-offender. You’re a hypocrite who had to have people beg to get your admin back. You couldn’t possibly be more of a loser.
Tastefully done means not graphic. It also means useful to the plot.

Considering Bungle and Darkness are coming of age stories, it means it’s a plot device that I can legitimately use. When I write about sex, I usually leave most of it to the reader’s imaginations because I’m not a smut writer, but yet again I meet this definition of being a pedo writer. So far in Lie, HJ has kissed a few girls. There it is, the smoking gun! Clearly, I’m some kind of sexual deviant. Compare that to Bluer than Indigo with Harry sexually dominating Marietta and Daphne graphically.

You made this accusation, so defend it. Substantiate your argument or fail Vash. Writing about teenagers having sex in itself is not pedo. You can throw all the Kinsfire references in there you want, but you don’t have a leg to stand on and anyone with the IQ of a chipmunk knows can see that. That might exclude many of you reading this, but nonetheless.

As for all this talk of baiting, well here’s something for you. Did you ever think that I might be baiting you trolls to get enough of your words in the same spot that I could mock you? You’ve all been here for my entertainment while I waited for some motivation to start writing again. Thankfully, I’ve got my mojo back. My favorite line is Bio’s I wish they would just stop writing. Could you possibly be any more whiny?

In summary, you’re arguments about my originality fail when faced with facts. You have a couple of points about my mechanics, but that’s about it. The personal attacks you’ve tried are minor league at best. I’m pretty disappointed that there haven’t been pictures lately. You folks must be losing your edge. Well, you've occupied enough time for today.

Toodles,
Jim

 

Sorry, I tried to stay out of this but your post just now was too inviting.

You may have a lot of fans, but there are a lot of idiots in the world. And it's pretty funny how you're saying "haha, i'm better than u irl" repeatedly, as if it matters. And it's not that they're losing their edge, not posting pics, it's just that they don't care enough about you to bother.