Oh wow...

Anyone else notice that?

 

Typical Voldemort's daughter with characterization below anything I read before it and awesomely long chapters

Harry Potter and Lady Voldemort by Princess-Who-Found-Her-Prince
What happens when harry has to keep watch over Lady Voldemort, Lord Voldemort's daughter.
Complete - Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: T - English - Action/Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 2,773 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 5-17-07 - Published: 4-16-07

This line made me spill a coffee on my computer, and therefore motivated to writing a review and posting it here.

 

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3421237/1/Tragedy_of_Romance

Read it.

Trust me.

Sree will love it.

Spoiler

She was sad cuz Ron was going out with Parvati Patel. Hermione just couldn’t get why. She was so stinky and Hindu. Everyone knows that Indians are ugly as hell.

 

How delightfully racist.

 

If the category was Humor, I would have given the story 1.5/5, but Tragedy/Romance?

The author's joking, right?
It's so horrible that it's funny.

0/5

It's the worst story I have ever read


Edit: I checked reviews for this story, Listen

Oh and it turns out that the story is re-written. I'm afraid to wonder what it was first time around

Edit 2: Look what I found!

Tragedy of Love

In a crazy world, a lovesick Hermione must deal with Harry's relationship with Ginny. Then, when the moment she's always been waiting for finally arrives, so does tragedy. THIS IS A TEAR JERKER! YOU'RE WARNED!
Complete - Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 548 - Reviews: 31 - Updated: 1-24-07 - Published: 1-24-07

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3358910/1/Tragedy_of_Love
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Harry Potter and the New Lives » by Steve2 reviews

Alternate reality. After the war, 7th year Harry Potter is transported into an AU where Neville is ‘TheBoyWhoLived’. How will the powerful Shadow Mage Harry Potter get accustomed to a new life as a ‘nobody’? Now SilverAegis approved 25May2007
Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: T - English - Humor/Action/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 79,148 - Reviews: 365 - Updated: 8-15-07 - Published: 4-10-07​

Harry travels to another dimension, were Neville is "TBWL" (even inside the story the author uses the shortcut) and Harry's parents are alive. However Neville is a pompous, half-assed git, while Harry is a shadow-mage. Together with a badly written story that's partially really awful.

However it is labelled humour and he has some slightly funny moments but these are ruined by some of the worst indy!Harry clichés: The sorting ceremony with a rather crazy sorting hat (condensed version):

The sorting begins and after a while it is Harry's turn.

The hat finally sorts him as 'apprentice' to all subjects taught at Hogwarts. I didn't read further but skimmed through the rest of the chapter, and at the end I found the following footnote:

Of course I looked that up, and eventually I found the reference. Newbs won't know the name, but the rest does ...

Spoiler

Harry whipped out his wand and incanted, “Apocalypso-33!” (2) Suddenly a beam of greenish-brown light shot out and hit the poltergeist whose hands went to his rear end trying to sooth away the painful butt-boils on his ghostly body.

Ah, well. Now shall we all follow his example and be written into the story as some nasty hexes and curses?

 

{Shrugs}

Considering that he's re-writing another authors plot, I thought it was pretty good...

thats just me though.

 

24. GINNY BECOMES THE NEW VOLDERMORT! by roxloxy reviews

after ginny's bad hair day she finally wants revenge for what her mother did to her!
Complete - Fiction Rated: K - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,685 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 8-25-07 - Published: 8-25-07

It may be marked "humor", but the story isn't the funny part. I'm still debating whether she meant to write like she did for dramatic emphasis, or if she's mildly illiterate. After seeing the picture on her profile, I'm tempted to go with the latter.

 

Okay, this piece of fiction has tourettes syndrome, or maybe the author was on crack I can't tell which. It's a 22K, completed, post OOTP fic with elements that belong to an angsty fangirl fic, and other elements that belong to a DLP style fic and it is a very disturbing mix.

Harry Potter and the Second War
link: here

Major plot points:
-Angst over Sirius
-Harry gets in fight with Dudley at the start
-Harry kills Kreature
-Harry/Cho Ron/Hermione
-Aurors inspecting Hogwarts students luggage
-Occlumency with Dumbledore
and the big twist... (that's really only a twist because it makes little if any sense)
Cho sleeping with Malfoy senior and Voldemort breaking in and DESTROYING HOGWARTS.

Umm, ya. So if you've got some free time to waste, and I mean straight into the dumpster kind of waste, feel free to check this fic out.

 

I'm only one chapter into this and it's first chapter is so awesomely bad, I felt the need to share.

Some highlights:

He made it a Pensieve/Astronomy Chart/Potions Briefcase all-in-one. Therefore it's an original idea.

Fear Neville, the Herbolowizard! I wonder if the next chapter will feature Padma the Potiowitch and Parvati the History-of-Magiwitch! Fear Colin Creevey the Astronowizard! "I got an Exceeds Expectations!"

Yes, not only do James and Lily beat their other child,

But they also don't even remember his name.

And mind you, they are first years, but they're not Mary-Sues. It even says so:

Man, when I was eleven, I was just like that. “We are not strong enough yet to kill Adult Death Eaters, fool! We cannot protect you from these forces!” These are not the droids you're looking for!

And that's all just the first chapter. There are 8 more posted I've not even read yet.

The author has a couple parodies, but I'm not sure this is meant to be one. Could be wrong, but it's classified Adventure/Tragedy. So much amusement though...

 

Nice find Nonjon, but I think I have something that can top that:

We Will Never Be The Same » by Dracoismysexyferret reviews

MyChemicalRomanceHP cross over. Gerard along with the band goes to Hogwarts for 7th year, he meets a girl, how does it go? R&R I suck at summaries so just read it give it a try.
Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 11,842 - Reviews: 35 - Updated: 9-21-07 - Published: 11-21-06

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Yes you are reading that right. I really don't want to go into it, but like most fangirls the longest part of the story is what they where wearing:

Not only is that the longest part of the story. (With the rest being song lyrics.) But she had to go and butcher the great name of Velvet Revolver into some emo cult.

 

I actually tried to read that one a while back, Nonjon; I couldn't get past the second chapter. At the end of that chapter they all share powers; if I remember correctly (I might be thinking of a different story with this one) they're all the heirs to powerful people in the past. I just can't fathom that the guy is taking this seriously, though; where's the conflict (real conflict) if the main characters can't die?

 

You can't beat this...

Looking for this fic by eaglelinda
Does anyone know of this fic?

Yes this was in the fic section and not the forums.....

 

Considering grammar and spelling the poster isn't even retarded - so she likely is deliberately abusing ff.net to compete for maximal attention.

On the other hand she isn't that bright either, as she should have posted the pairing in the summary - to call "her own kind's" attention to the question.

Abuse report successfully sent ... or something like that. Nowadays I almost always report such postings. Everyone reading Niffler Lord's post should follow the link and do the same. Then the thing won't be online for long - and she might even get no answer

 

Saged. By the way, so far this only has one review: the guy says which fanfic he thinks it is, but then only gives a partial link. What are the odds she's also too stupid to use the Search button?

 

To be fair, doesn't FFN remove links?

But yeah, I'd suggest she's too stupid to use google, let alone FFN's search.

 

That band one hurts to read.

It just sucks so much.

 

Together by Scecky reviews

Voldemort and Alastor MadEye Moody share a special moment and discover their true feelings VoldemortMadEye WARNING: Contents may disturb you. In a bad way.
Complete - Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 701 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 12-16-06 - Published: 12-16-06


Its sort of just another crappy slash fic, but the pairing is what makes it so horrible.
​

 

That 'Together' one was great!

But don't worry for poor Mad-Eye... Voldemort's here!

*snickers*

This is the best story I've read in weeks. It ends so sweetly too:

Awwww, can't you just feel the bowel-emptying man love?

 

I want to die now.