Right, so I'm having trouble. I want to write a suicidal!Harry spoof where he cannot kill himself, no matter how he tries. The back story is that he's been sent back in time after killing Voldemort, into a universe where Neville is the boy who lived. Harry knows this (I haven't decided how he knows this yet...). Harry is trapped at the Durselys (Harry has no way of contacting Dumbledore or the Order (he has no desire to anyway), and has no means of escaping as he cannot get a job at his age, and his confined to a cupboard for most of his freetime. I find it unrealistic that authors allow Harry to escape the Durselys so easily) and gets fed up with their treatment, eventually. Harry realizes that there is little point to living as Neville is the chosen one, that his true friends are dead (and time will change in the future if it already hasn't; the people he meets on the train will not be his friends no matter what), and that his presence will no impact on anything. This sounds a little to angsty, but, it's all just a set up for the plot.

Here's what I've written so far:

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Ok, that's what I have so far (well I have more, but, this is all I'm willing to give a passing grade to). I like everything from the beginning all the way to the line "Take... suffixation and broken neck...", where I get way too wordy and try to describe all of Harry's suicide attempts in one go. It makes sense to do this I think, but I'm uncertain.


Anyway, I think what I need here is another's opinion on things.


What I want to do is write a humorous story with pseudo-angst and Harry attempting to kill himself, all the while living out his first year at Hogwarts and coming to some conclusion about himself and family, friends, and life and death. A time travel story that's not so much focused on the time travel and Voldemort foiling (but still ever present).


I want to avoid cliches (and so I may move away from the canon story of book 1, but I have no ideas that far ahead yet, but I would love suggestions there if anyone has any).



...So, help? Don't be afraid to tell me if this sucks. If it does, then I need a reality check for sure.

 

IMO this would work much better without the abuse factor. That would IMO just bring down the comedy aspect and devaluate the silliness of the plot.

Concentrate more on dullness of being a kid again and pointlessness of his new life. Make Harry into an angsty bitch who simply hates life, without a just cause (and the point of the story could then really be seeking the meaning of life).

Maybe even give him a few emo friends (with the whole makeover thing). And then he can talk them all into committing a mass suicide and then remain the only one alive.

In the end, Harry should get killed just as he discovers the meaning of life (and maybe sent into another AU?). Anyway, could be a nice little black comedy.

 

I think see what you're saying, and really, the abuse was only going to be a plot device to keep Harry from leaving and living on the streets (which has already been done to death). I'll keep it in mind, but, how would I totally write out the abuse (or even keep it simply unmentioned)? Perhaps I don't exactly understand what you mean.

The emo friend idea sounds delicious... yes, Emo friends that are really vampires (recently turned)? I'd have to make them magical, or some how connected to Harry. I'd rather not make up hogwarts students or make them his muggle friends from school.

Mass suicide... wow you've got this all figured out. Haha I like it. Harry inspires people to kill themselves.

The ending I'll worry about later, but I think yours is a little bit expected. I might use that though, if nothing else is feasable.

 

No no no. You don't need magical emo friends, just normal emo friends. If they where magic they would know who Potter is if Harry says his name.

 

Not in a world where Neville is the chosen.

But I am torn between making them lesser characters (nonmagical) and having them as vampires (since emos try to emulate vampires. Maybe they can be flunky vampires...).

 

Here's the thing: if you say Harry's depressed because of abuse, then the plot becomes clear and straightforward; Harry becomes an action hero who fights against his abusers and breaks free (which solves his depression).

But you said you wanted the story to be about Harry seeking the meaning of life, the purpose of his continuous existence. In that case, you need to make THAT the reason behind his depression. If you use abuse or physical deformity or any such straightforward reason, that would steer the plot away from your purpose and ruin the point you're (I suppose) trying to make.

As to how to do the plot without abuse, well simply have the indifferent Dursleys, who are actually trying to help Harry kill himself. After they see it's pointless, you can just push them into the background and move on with your plot, with an occasional reminder of their existence (eg: Harry comes in after another failed attempt. Vernon looks up. "What, you're still alive? Bloody hell boy, can't you do anything right!?" - "I'm trying damnit!" etc...).

 

Ahhh I see what you mean now...

Yes that will work nicely.

Thank you.

 

Oh damn, I feel stupid... well... now this fails. Reading and posting can get you very distracted and I do hope never to fail that much again.

 

When I read the beginning of your post I thought: WTF!!!! Why would I want to read a fucking emo!Harry story!!!
Then I read the first part of what you wrote and it only reinforce my belief...

But the second part was a lot better and it's only then that I had the little inkling that it was suppose to be a humor fic.
And after:

I had the confirmation.

The idea is good, and the pointers that ip82 gave you are on the spot.

This fic could be funny as hell, I can just imagine Harry after finally giving the final blow to Voldemort, slowly drifting to the land of dead with a wistful smile on his face thinking that he will finally meet his parents and rejoin his friends.... And then, BAM! Waking up in his cupboard with Petunia banging on the door.

"Wake up freak!! Go make the breakfast you useless freeloader!!!"

Harry blink slowly... Muttering under is breath: "I am seeing things, I am seeing things, this is not real, this is fucking not real or I am fucking going to start blowing things!!!!!!!!

Erf... Well you got the idea. ^^

But I would change several things in your story. First I would not make him kill himself because he doesn't seems to have other choice.

I believe it would be better if he doesn't want to contact the magic world at all but just want to end it. You could have in complete denial at first, believing it's kind of an mandatory stage before death. And then when he finally understand that he is given a second chance at live, without having to bear the burden of being the Boy-Who-Lived, he just say: Fuck it, I just wanna die.

And I don't know how many years before Hogwarts you are going to make him appeared, but I just can see him eager to start Hogwarts because he has exhausted all the possible way to die by muggle means!

Well, I suppose you see my point. Just make Harry a Cynical bitch who wants to die.

 

All good ideas. I wish I had the time to work on this tomorrow.

 

All good ideas. I don't think this'll need Hogwarts at all. There's too big danger that the point may get lost in too much filler, pointless sideplots and retellings of canon.

Or if you do use Hogwarst, better do the scene-skip thing, with only the important scenes showing.

The important thing is to keep it short; otherwise, the idea will get old if you recycle it too much.

 

I think I'll keep Harry's encounters with Ginny/Hermione/Ron/et cetera at a minimum and stray from Hogwarts. I like the idea of a suspenseful buildup where they meet each other closer to the end. Although Harry will definately need to meet Luna at least once...

I think I'll keep the events of Hogwarts cannon, only that Neville is in Harry's place. So it'd sorta be like Harry vs Himself when they finally meet.