Title: Sighs of the Neglected Flower
Author: Nuhuh
Rating: M
Genre: Drama
DLP Category: Time Travel
Pairing: Harry/Lily
Chapters: 7
Words: 27,102
Updated: April 28, 2008
Published: August 4, 2007
Status: Abandoned
Summary: What if Voldemort complied with Snape's wish on Halloween 1981? What if the Harry we know used the Resurrection Stone at the same time as a heart broken Lily? Two different eras, two different realities...Post DH
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3703435/1/Sighs_of_the_Neglected_Flower

Pimping this since Nuhuh appears to be too lazy to put it in WBA.


Checked by Minion, January 1, 2013

 

Still feels like a prologue, so more chapters are needed for review.
I do like how it is currently character wise.

*Also, I can't help thinking of this as a soon to be smut fic. Something about Lily and Harry reminds me of something Vash wrote.*

 

Like I said, so far so good. I do like how you've portrayed Lily as the bitter, only remaining member of the Potter family. But a part in the first chapter bugged me.

“I will castrate the bastard before he even looks at me,” Lilly Evans Potter swore with feeling; imagining a faceless man
Suddenly she snapped her hair back from where it had been hanging in front of her like a tangled curtain, a determined glint in her eye. She was not going to let anyone take advantage of her grief or her being without a family in the wizarding world. It was sad that even in this time without a blood relative or someone by marriage in the magical world left her less protected. A lone witch could be pushed, harassed and no one would know better.



For some odd reason, whenever I read that part, the sentence I bolded seems very abrupt and quick to me. Kind of like it comes out of nowhere, but it's something that's easily overlooked. It might just be me though. And obviously I'm waiting for more. Oh yeah, whenever you get back on IRC or whatever, send me that picture in your sig. The original one that is.

 

I think it was meant to be. It was a sudden feeling of determinaton and strength which she didn't have before, something that usually just comes on like that in a burst of inspiration. I would have thought it more weird if it had been a slow, easy transition from the former thought to that one.

As of the story, please wake up Harry soon as these chapters almost seem like you are just placing in filler and are hesitant to actually get to the beginning of the real plot. Just by your writing as of now, I have wondered about this either being a smut fic or an angst fic. Hope this feeling goes away soon, but at the moment I'm still not sure exactly what kind of rating I'd give this.

 

Good so far, but as said above, there's been no character interaction.
I'll wait 'til it gets farther along before I rate it.

 

Yey! I wasn't the only one who thought this could end up smut!
HUZZAH I'M NOT CRAZY!

Anyways, wake Harry up!

 

Based on certain assurances that have been made to me by Nuhuh, this gets five stars from moi.

 

Before I read this, is Harry batshit insane like in most of Nuhuh's other stories?

'Cause, despite how a good a writer Nuhuh is, insane!Harry is a massive turn-off for me.

 

Glernaj~ Thanks for the pimping. I will get around to posting it in the WBA when I have edited the first chapter and taken care of typoes etc.

SmileoftheKill~ In these few chapters I was more focused on characterization so glad you liked it.

Rated~ Happy to see you liked Lily's portrayal.

As Kolskit said, it was deliberately done that way. Stressful situations can give anyone jerky responses. Often one has to go from being down to up to get a control of the situation - wanted to show that here in a very small example.

Dark Oblivion~ Yes, there hasn't been Harry/Lily interaction yet. Where they were both awake, but I wanted to give some spot light just to Lily for a while. Next chapter you will see it.

Kolskit~ The reason why I am not getting up to the main plot is not to just get filler out of the way. In fact, I don't think what I have up to now is filler really. I wanted to establish some sense of Lily's situation, the magical reaction she has to touching Harry, and a glimpse into what Dumbledore is up to. But mainly I wanted to show what Lily is like before we come to that inevitable scene of Harry meeting Lily properly.

I will address the smut comment in general below but to your point about Angst: This is not an angst fic, like we have in categories at HPFF...I don't know if FF still has a category for 'Angst.' That said, this is a story where Lily and Harry are under pressures of all kinds, including their relationship development, dealing with the odd position each puts the other in. So there will be enough about that. I don't think it is realistic that there is a happy, wonderful reunion that is immediately comfortable etc.

Tehan~ Thank you very much

Taure~ I laughed at your comment. Thank you for the compliment that I am a good writer. Don't worry Harry is far from insane in this fic, though you will see him awake for the first time in the next chapter. Besides Harry is only mad in Demon's Feign...he is quite on the level in The Binding...McGonagal just thinks he is insane. Did you think he was crazy in that one too?

The Alleged Smut​

Ok, since I am getting comments on this in irc, msn and here...I really did not write any of this with the setup for smut in mind. This story has a plot that will be revealed, by no means is this PWP. I have been meaning to do this kind of story for sometime, so any 'action' will be a part of the greater story and not The story.

Yes, I fully intend on making this Harry/Lily...but I want to get there without a ridiculous,

"Mum you're hot, can I bang you?"

"Why, of course Darling. How did you miss the subtext of my spread legs all this time? Come here you nubile young thing."

But, I really, really don't understand...does the tone so far scream smut? Because that was not my intention. I was trying to show a character, her grief, vulnerabilities and strength too.

For those of you looking for smut, sorry guys and girls that is not the focus here. Seriously, she can't even touch him yet. There will be a scene or maybe more, but it will take some development before I get there. Until then bug Jon, he has one written up.

For those who don't want smut and just looking for a story with this pairing, when such scenes come up you will easily be able to skip them. In fact they will only be posted in the DLP versions.

EDIT: Alright, I'm an idiot. I re-read everything. I was so focused on the emotional turmoil bit I forgot all the hints I put in of Lily's attraction to him. In my defense they were meant to highlight how distraught she is.

 

For real smut, bug Tehan for his Harry/Lily...

The intro is creepily plausible.

 

ZOMG THIS IZ TEH GREATEST WORK EVAR! SO MUCH EMOSHUN! SO MUCH DEPTH! TEN OUT OF FIVE!!!



but seriously. Im liking it and I was the one who gave Nuhuh the plot idea. I helped plan a bit of it. So I know there is going to be No Smut of any kind.

 

Pretty good so far. I really like it. Good story, Nuhuh.Can't wait to read the rest of it. Will rate with more chapters.

Richard.

 

You both just wanted to use the Resurrection Stone...the rest is mine.

And Jon, Nobody puts fangirl!Vash in the corner!...or call her/him a cunt.

-Gangsta pirouettes-

 

Jon: no way. Nuhuh and I were talking about it before you ever started your story. So fawk you, cunt! I was gonna write a smuttier version but couldnt be fucked, so Nuhuh took it.

Nuhuh: die. Just die. I am not a fan girl.




well..

not anymore.

 

I can't help thinking 'sex change' hearing that.

Also, update the story! I want to review!

 

I ... walked into that one. For shame. -__-

 

Yeah you kinda did Vash. You walked into that and it was similar to the whole church getting really quiet right before you say Go to Hell. It was bad.

 

Read it and to the three chapters I give 4/5.

:cheers:
Good luck