But Harry has to be hawt!!! He runs around the block once a week and does 5 press ups a day. Plus of course, there's quidditch, which gives him buns of steel!

How could you not know that?

Plus Mordecai, you have scarred me for life. This is almost as scary as xxxbloodywristsxxx's stuff, only somehow worse, because the author is mildly talented but chooses to do this... drivel.

 

One does ones best...

 

You know that last part is a lot of fuel for Slash smut.....

 

It may be just me, but I get seriously turned off when fics use real life brands when it comes to describing everything, especially clothes, instead of just writing a generic description. Cars though, I can understand, as JKR herself used brands (Ford Anglia anyone?). But too much description on clothes annoy me enough as it is, I have absolutely no wish to read about how so and so is wearing *insert lengthy description* Stella McCartney/Gucci/Prada/author's-favourite-brand clothes.

 

Fics where Harry reads manga. Or any other book the author likes. (There was this fic once, where Sirius bought Harry the Earthsea Trilogy)
But I might mostly be reminiscing about this Naruto fic where Naruto went to a weapons shop and asked the guy there to make a blade exactly like one in Bleach. But I do remember similar stuff happening in HP fics... ah, well.
And, of course, Stalker fics.

 

All of what Warlocke said on the previous page. Also abuse stories, but i usually skim further into the story if it has decent amount of reviews.

 

If it's an abuse fic, I would be more alarmed if it has a large number of reviews as this would be a warning bell that the fic features Harry/Snape (or Draco) hurt/comfort slash. Who knows, it might even have- screw that- it will most probably have m!preg too.

 

I just stopped reading a story because Pansy said she had been wearing a glamour charm. It irritated the hell out of me.

 

The Pansy glamor was done once that I know of and thats in White Knight, Grey Queen.

There is one thing that absolutely annoys me and makes me give up a fic before I even start. Thats the "If you don't like don't read" comment in the summery. Any author who writes that needs a good kick in the ass.

 

Pansy also wore a glamour type thing in oldwolf's fic, Black Sisters or something like that. It wasn't so much an actual glamour, but more a spell that made people believe she was fug ugly.

 

Anyone read Arsenic and Old Lace? That fic got more and more retarded as it went. Harry changed his named to Caliban. That stopped me in my tracks.

 

Caliban is a monster from one of Shakespeare's plays. Either that or the author of Arsenic and Old Lace has read Rob Thurman's series.

 

Oh god, that might be the story but when i was reading a decent lengthed story (thunderbird animagus non-hogwarts)i quit once he started actually using the "fake" name. I mean if your going to write a fic about Harry Potter atleast keep his name.

 

Oh, it has definitely become the primary H/Pansy cliche. I mentioned it in an earlier post. It's been used in WKGQ, the fic mentioned by Mordecai, and in a number of smaller, less notable stories (I'd have to do some searching to cite actual titles).

Let me get into the Wayback Machine for a second... Ah yes, Harry Potter and The Sisters Black by Oldwolf. It did indeed use the glamour cliche, though why I have no idea. It's not like they needed a special reason why Pansy was attractive, since even Petunia was inexplicably described as good looking in that fic.

Caliban is also one of the Morlocks in the X-Men comics, though that has nothing to do with Arsenic and Old Lace (shit, the title of that fic doesn't have anything to do with that fic, either, go figure).

 

I can't handle bad titles, I'm too frail. Arsenic and Old Lace is definitely a prime example. I scanned through it, and couldn't see how it related to the story's content at all. Renaming Harry Caliban doesn't serve any purpose, except to further divorce it from the Potterverse.

The only everyone-is-attractive fic I liked was Thor Nairda's Shadow Play.

 

Did Thor stop writing that? It hasn't been updated in a while.
ForsakenOne - The story your are referring to is part of Miranda Flairgold's Second Chance at Life series. I think it is bearable. At least Rashyyk(?) still kicks some ass.

 

I liked that one, because he has a good reason for faking his name. It's not like:

"My Daddy was Prongs so now I want everyone to call me Prongs Jr. K?"

Or Bolt. Or Emeralds. Or Lightning. Or whatever the fuck else people think would be a fantastic pranking name that no one would ever guess that Harry and co. were responsible for.

 

How come Harry NEVER seems to do an anagram of his name a la "Tom Marvolo Riddle >> I Am Lord Voldemort"?

Granted, Harry James Potter has no "I" in it, but that doesn't mean he can't derive it from other languages? Also, if he needed a G (or even the I), he could go with alternate versions of his names from other langages - James, for example, is "Giacomo", which gives him a wider range of letters to work with. Who says he needs to be a lord either. I think that something like that would show a lot more inginuity on the part of the fanfic author than Prongslet.

 

Why can't he be just plain Harry Potter?

Nobody is going to think less of him if he doesn't have a nickname.