1. DLP Flash Christmas Competition + Writing Marathon 2024!

    Competition topic: Magical New Year!

    Marathon goal? Crank out words!

    Check the marathon thread or competition thread for details.

    Dismiss Notice
  2. Hi there, Guest

    Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Introducing for your Perusing Pleasure

    New Thread Thursday
    +
    Shit Post Sunday

    READ ME
    Dismiss Notice

I just stopped reading a fic for the most retarded reason ever

Discussion in 'Fanfic Discussion' started by PlacatedTurtle, Aug 27, 2007.

  1. malaga

    malaga Auror

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2007
    Messages:
    639
    Location:
    New Zealand
    But Harry has to be hawt!!! He runs around the block once a week and does 5 press ups a day. Plus of course, there's quidditch, which gives him buns of steel!

    How could you not know that?

    Plus Mordecai, you have scarred me for life. This is almost as scary as xxxbloodywristsxxx's stuff, only somehow worse, because the author is mildly talented but chooses to do this... drivel.
     
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2007
  2. Mordecai

    Mordecai Drunken Scotsman –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2005
    Messages:
    559
    Location:
    Englandshire
    High Score:
    5,725
    ;) One does ones best...
     
  3. Niffler Lord

    Niffler Lord Headmaster

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2006
    Messages:
    1,137
    Location:
    Sri Lanka
    You know that last part is a lot of fuel for Slash smut.....:D
     
  4. Lucullus

    Lucullus High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2007
    Messages:
    575
    Location:
    Classified
    It may be just me, but I get seriously turned off when fics use real life brands when it comes to describing everything, especially clothes, instead of just writing a generic description. Cars though, I can understand, as JKR herself used brands (Ford Anglia anyone?). But too much description on clothes annoy me enough as it is, I have absolutely no wish to read about how so and so is wearing *insert lengthy description* Stella McCartney/Gucci/Prada/author's-favourite-brand clothes.
     
  5. Eaglette

    Eaglette Second Year

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2007
    Messages:
    74
    Location:
    Northern Hemisphere
    Fics where Harry reads manga. Or any other book the author likes. (There was this fic once, where Sirius bought Harry the Earthsea Trilogy)
    But I might mostly be reminiscing about this Naruto fic where Naruto went to a weapons shop and asked the guy there to make a blade exactly like one in Bleach. But I do remember similar stuff happening in HP fics... ah, well.
    And, of course, Stalker fics.
     
  6. ForsakenOne

    ForsakenOne Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2007
    Messages:
    383
    All of what Warlocke said on the previous page. Also abuse stories, but i usually skim further into the story if it has decent amount of reviews.
     
  7. Lucullus

    Lucullus High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2007
    Messages:
    575
    Location:
    Classified
    If it's an abuse fic, I would be more alarmed if it has a large number of reviews as this would be a warning bell that the fic features Harry/Snape (or Draco) hurt/comfort slash. Who knows, it might even have- screw that- it will most probably have m!preg too.
     
  8. skooly

    skooly First Year

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2007
    Messages:
    28
    I just stopped reading a story because Pansy said she had been wearing a glamour charm. It irritated the hell out of me.
     
  9. Niffler Lord

    Niffler Lord Headmaster

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2006
    Messages:
    1,137
    Location:
    Sri Lanka
    The Pansy glamor was done once that I know of and thats in White Knight, Grey Queen.

    There is one thing that absolutely annoys me and makes me give up a fic before I even start. Thats the "If you don't like don't read" comment in the summery. Any author who writes that needs a good kick in the ass.
     
  10. Mordecai

    Mordecai Drunken Scotsman –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2005
    Messages:
    559
    Location:
    Englandshire
    High Score:
    5,725
    Pansy also wore a glamour type thing in oldwolf's fic, Black Sisters or something like that. It wasn't so much an actual glamour, but more a spell that made people believe she was fug ugly.
     
  11. Kyle_Dodge1

    Kyle_Dodge1 DA Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2006
    Messages:
    163
    Location:
    Portland, Oregon
    Anyone read Arsenic and Old Lace? That fic got more and more retarded as it went. Harry changed his named to Caliban. That stopped me in my tracks.
     
  12. Swimdraconian

    Swimdraconian Denarii Host DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    May 10, 2006
    Messages:
    1,436
    Location:
    Florida
    Caliban is a monster from one of Shakespeare's plays. Either that or the author of Arsenic and Old Lace has read Rob Thurman's series.
     
  13. ForsakenOne

    ForsakenOne Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2007
    Messages:
    383
    Oh god, that might be the story but when i was reading a decent lengthed story (thunderbird animagus non-hogwarts)i quit once he started actually using the "fake" name. I mean if your going to write a fic about Harry Potter atleast keep his name.
     
  14. Warlocke

    Warlocke Fourth Champion

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2006
    Messages:
    3,053
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The armpit of Ohio
    Oh, it has definitely become the primary H/Pansy cliche. I mentioned it in an earlier post. It's been used in WKGQ, the fic mentioned by Mordecai, and in a number of smaller, less notable stories (I'd have to do some searching to cite actual titles).

    Let me get into the Wayback Machine for a second... Ah yes, Harry Potter and The Sisters Black by Oldwolf. It did indeed use the glamour cliche, though why I have no idea. It's not like they needed a special reason why Pansy was attractive, since even Petunia was inexplicably described as good looking in that fic.

    Caliban is also one of the Morlocks in the X-Men comics, though that has nothing to do with Arsenic and Old Lace (shit, the title of that fic doesn't have anything to do with that fic, either, go figure).
     
  15. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2007
    Messages:
    3,947
    I can't handle bad titles, I'm too frail. Arsenic and Old Lace is definitely a prime example. I scanned through it, and couldn't see how it related to the story's content at all. Renaming Harry Caliban doesn't serve any purpose, except to further divorce it from the Potterverse.

    The only everyone-is-attractive fic I liked was Thor Nairda's Shadow Play.
     
    Last edited: Oct 17, 2007
  16. Kyle_Dodge1

    Kyle_Dodge1 DA Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2006
    Messages:
    163
    Location:
    Portland, Oregon
    Did Thor stop writing that? It hasn't been updated in a while.
    ForsakenOne - The story your are referring to is part of Miranda Flairgold's Second Chance at Life series. I think it is bearable. At least Rashyyk(?) still kicks some ass.
     
  17. malaga

    malaga Auror

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2007
    Messages:
    639
    Location:
    New Zealand
    I liked that one, because he has a good reason for faking his name. It's not like:

    "My Daddy was Prongs so now I want everyone to call me Prongs Jr. K?"

    Or Bolt. Or Emeralds. Or Lightning. Or whatever the fuck else people think would be a fantastic pranking name that no one would ever guess that Harry and co. were responsible for.
     
    Last edited: Oct 18, 2007
  18. Dark Syaoran

    Dark Syaoran No. 4 Admin

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2005
    Messages:
    6,141
    Gender:
    Male
    ...Pranking name...

    I almost forgot people actually did that shit. It's been quite awhile since I've read any stories with it... I don't venture passed DLP authors much these days.
     
  19. Rin

    Rin Oberstgruppenführer DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    May 28, 2007
    Messages:
    1,327
    Location:
    日本福井県若狭町
    How come Harry NEVER seems to do an anagram of his name a la "Tom Marvolo Riddle >> I Am Lord Voldemort"?

    Granted, Harry James Potter has no "I" in it, but that doesn't mean he can't derive it from other languages? Also, if he needed a G (or even the I), he could go with alternate versions of his names from other langages - James, for example, is "Giacomo", which gives him a wider range of letters to work with. Who says he needs to be a lord either. I think that something like that would show a lot more inginuity on the part of the fanfic author than Prongslet.
     
  20. Lucullus

    Lucullus High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2007
    Messages:
    575
    Location:
    Classified
    Why can't he be just plain Harry Potter?

    Nobody is going to think less of him if he doesn't have a nickname.
     
Loading...