Hot dog.

I was just thinking, "You know what I want? Another chapter of Demon's Feign. Way to be psychic, nuhuh."

 

...Harry's visions actually worry me from a psychologists standpoint.

Beyond that, great work as usually. Harry begins to understand what Outsider means, but I don't think he realizes the full implications of it yet.

Yet being the key word.

 

Interesting teaser. Looks good.

Only thing that didn't really ring true to me was Murphy pointing her gun at Harry. Murphy is a cop and trained in hand gun use. She's always been extremely careful with her firearm and I can't imagine her aiming it at Harry simply because he's leering.

 

An exceptionally remarkable plot you have going here Nuhuh, I have only one problem. I Need MOAR!!!

A'ight, onto the review -

Grammar/Spelling: Pretty good, needs a little work, but not bad at all. It is easy to read, and easy to understand, so well done.

Plot: Flows pretty smoothly. There are a few parts that are a little bit slow, but apart from that, very nicely done.

Spells/Magic: You have made some interesting spells/concepts of magic so far. Very well done, and I look forward to see what you can come up with.

Characterization: This is by far what you have done best in this fic. You have kept the characters in 'chracter' and you have done it well. You can still see Harry Potter, in your Hary, and though he might be a bit 'loopy' he is still there.

You have kept the Dresden world pretty close to what it actually is in the books. I salute you mate, on a job well done.

A few things need to be cleared up, but I am sure you will handle this in time. For instance: Harry's capability of using Voldemort's skills, and being able to see everyone. What is going on? Is he able to use more then just Voldemort's skills too; or those whos spirit he can see? Need some reasoning here, I feel. (Just a thought, is Voldemort ever going to show up? T'would be greatly entertaining; giving Harry sex advice...)

I also had a thought, and perhaps you meant it to be this way, or whatever. But if Murphy's mind was altered, it means that one of the Council, or one of their dogs was there to do it. Why wasn't she just terminated then and there? How did she escape, was GateKeeper responsible? <------ Need to clarify.

Other things are confusing, but I'm sure you will clear it up as time passes. All in all, a very great story, you have done a remarkable job so far, easily a 5/5 for now. (As long as things get explained later on.)

-Void

 

Pretty good, but it didn't make sense for Harry to call Morgan a muggle constanting, when the guy's flinging magic at HP.

 

ah that was because Morgan started out with a physical attack, striking at him with a sword, so Harry assumed Morgan was a muggle. Of course after that Morgan goes ahead and throws magic at him, but Harry is off kilter so he goes on with the Muggle theme.

 

Makes a bit more sense, was just pointing out it was confusing.

 

I have updated the story.

Chapter 11 Enter the Fallen:

PatronusCharm.net

FanFiction.net

Read, Enjoy, Review.

Many thanks to Jon, Vash, Shezza, Tinn, Anna and Syaoran, for brainstorming, content proofing and editing.

Actually Tinn is still editing so all mistakes are mine, I will upload corrected version as soon as she is free from her studies to finishing beta'ing.

 

I attempted to read this previously, and gave up after the first paragraph. I didn't, and still don't, know jack shit about the Dresden Files, but after reading Denarian Knight, I know more than I did. I'll give it a shot, and edit my post later.

Oh, and I like the sig nuhuh... if she was real, I'd totally bang her.

EDIT: Good shit, nuhuh, good shit. I still don't know jack about the Dresden Files, but I know a good story when I read one. 4.5/5

 

Another great chapter.

It's lost some of the *quaintness* of the earlier chapters, though. Can't wait for 'Drip drop motherfucker' to appear again.

 

Another excellent chapter, not much more to say other than that.

Looking forward to the dinner with the Knight and to see if Harry accepts the Fallen given to him.

 

Oh! Topless riverdancing Romilda Vane wasn't *quaint* enough for you?

Testament~ Thanks. Part of the dinner scene is written, and yes much more of the fallen in the next chapter as well.

 

I like it, even if at times I feel just as confused as Harry. (Not so much anymore). Looking forward to seeing more interaction with the fallen, and the dinner. I wanna see Harry go batshit on someone... maybe set them on fire and conjure snakes to chew on their widdly-biddly's...

 

WbA comes after FF.Net.

... I is disappointed. I even reviewed there.

Love the Denarians... actually, love Deirdre. Pure win.

Also Dresden is very Dresden-ish, which I like. Dresden/Murph interaction is another good side of this fic.

Love this, but I've said that already. Seems a long time since the fic was last updated.

 

I liked it. Another great chapter. Whenever I read Potter's parts in the story, I can almost feel how insane he is. It's ridiculous how well you have written this story. I've never read the Dresden books, so I can't comment on the characterizations, but I loved the Fallen and Dresden's character.

 

Sentence repeated. Actually, two slightly different versions of the same.

I think I was so caught up in Karrin's yoga that I missed what Harry meant by his reply the first two times I read this. The next great adventure.

dessert

Is high school supposed to be capitalised?

I wasn't expecting to see the extra Carpenter visit added on to this chapter. It was a pleasant surprise. Your characters are really coming to life. Did you intentionally drop Murphy seeing her apartment disappear under the Fidelius?

Thanks,
Yak.

 

Was there a reference to the Fidelius charm in the original, that was removed in this revision? Or am I imagining things

 

An anomaly in your memory has been detected. An obliviation squad is on its way to meet with you now. Please remain where you are for your mental sanitation.