The Challenge

The challenge is to ridicule of all fics Severitus in a one-shot, wherein Snape calls Harry into his office to reveal the dark secret of his parenthood.

Only, this time it's Harry that tears the hinges off Snape's reality.

Encouraged by Snape's (erroneous) claim that he is his father, Harry reveals the truth - he, during an escapade into the past, got hit with a horse tranquilizer. While Harry recovered from the mother of all hangovers, Eileen Prince saw her once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to get laid, and coaxes a witless Harry into bed.

Their union produces Snape.

The one-shot ends with Harry forgiving Snape of all his transgressions and promising to make up for lost time. Snape, touched, emerges from his callous exterior.

At this point, Harry comes to his senses, and declares that he won't accept a filthy bastard as his son. He leaves Snape in a tearful wreck, and throws the Potion book he left his notes in at Snape.

A possible ending could be Snape editing his potions book so that it says "Property of the quarterblood prince."

The real idea is for something like "A HG Story" by JCCS, except for Severitus, and then swiftly kicking the unsuspecting Severitus reader in the crotch.

 

Oh, I can only imagine the lulz.

 

Are we now trying to lure unsuspecting fangirls to read storys that will give them nightmares?

 

A very interesting challenge indeed. I can't wait for the resulting lulz.

But Harry being Snape's father is simply repulsive.

 

Quote fixed.

 

This idea has some serious possibilities. (I'd already worked out a few good lines before even finishing the description). I've got another project to get off my desk first (probably will take a week or so), but if nobody else has picked this one up by then, I'll do one.

 

When I saw the title ("reversed") I thought "That can't possibly mean what I think it means...".

It turns out it did.

Lulz would ensue, especially if done in the style of A Potter Tradition of Red.

 

...That's our fucking JOB, DB.

 

You will need a really nice hook, something that will undoubtedly make fan girls, and even your average Severitus reader click it, proceed normally to the office scene, then pull out all the twists simultaneously and scar their fragile minds for life. Reveiws and lulz ensue.

 

Right - you need to set the tone. The writing quality will be top-notch, the details will be there, and the unsuspecting fucker would think "Oh goody". Then you go for the kill.

I have an idea for the ending.

It'll be the scene where Harry's pursuing Snape off Hogwarts, after Snape kills Dumbledore.

They yell at each other, and then when Snape says "The Half-Blood Prince is I!" and then Harry asks "Shouldn't it be Quarter-blood Prince? You know, my having banged your mom and all..."

 

How about we draw the Harry/Snape fans in as well? Something like...

AU. Post-DH. Harry reveals the truth to Severus. A truth that he has been denying for years. A truth that will change both their lives forever. Severitus. Slash.

Then we go in for the kill, revealing that the slash is Dobby/Kreacher.

 

ROFL at Dobby/Kreacher. Anything that can be used to hurt the mind of another human bei... no, I mean of a fangirl/boy is good.

We have so very few ways to get them back for all the crap that they force us to swim through to find some good fanfic.

 

"I am your father." - that should be the line for the win.

 

I could seen plenty of poor little fangirls having complete meltdowns.

Can someone figure out a way to take pictures?

 

It gets interesting if you do a two-way Severitus: Snape fathers Harry and Harry fathers Snape.

Snape's genes are half Eileen's and half Harry's: S = E/2 + H/2.
Harry's genes are half Lily's and half Snape's: H=L/2 + S/2.

Substituting, you get that Harry's genes are 2/3 his mothers and 1/3 Eileen's: H = E/3 + 2L/3.

Upon further substitution, one finds a similar thing for Snape: S = 2E/3 + L/3.

In other words, Snape and Harry both incestuously fathered children with their two-thirds-sisters (a full sister shares half the genes). Snape is a two-thirds blood prince.

(The case of Harry also fathering Eileen with Snape's maternal grandmother is left as an exercise to the reader).

[Edit: fixed a minor mistake]

 

I'm Warlocke, and I approve this challenge.
This message not paid for by anyone.

Pretty much any fic that fucks with Snape and his fangirls at the same time has my blessing.

Ha! At first, I read this as '...That's our fucking JOB, douchebag.'

 

I'm going to take this up. I'll post again when it's finished.

 

Oh God... greatest idea ever

 

The lulz inherent in posting this on ff.net make me happy.

 

Someone wrote a multi-chaptered Reverse Severitus fic, but I'm not sure it was in order to mock Severitus...

For anyone who actually wants to read it, here it is.

http://attackfish.livejournal.com/tag/no+difference

Don't ask me about quality of it though- I was too shocked to read it.