He knows what we should like better than we do.

 

My thoughts exactly. Trag all you have done is insult people and I havent seen the first word about why the story is so horrible from you.


Darius I have been waiting on you to post for a couple days now. FINALLY

 

My posts are in great demand so I have to make rounds.

 

I'm not even going to bother flaming any of you for your opinions. In my mind you're either wrong or right.

Chapter 1 was shit. Utter drivel. I read this months ago and nearly put it down because of it.

I've read dozens of books where the initial chapter was a huge disappointment. Only to find I enjoyed the rest of the book.

Frankly, if you've read the entire thing, you'll find that the quality of writing improves dramatically as it goes.

If the first few chapters force you away from something then fine. But to write this fanfiction off because of those first few chapters? Gimme a break. Read the whole thing, if you still think the author is terrible, fine. There's no excuse for the first few chapters. After that, if you still find a defensible position from which to argue your point then do so.

A flame war over fucking fanfiction and standards diminishing? Gimme a break. This is still DLP, there are still quite a few assholes willing to completely shred someone's work.

This isn't Hemingway, in fact you'll find with today's editors nothing will be Hemingway quite like authors of his time. The first chapters are rough and the author dwells on her own story ideas too often, driving this away from an HP fiction and more into a crossover with general fantasy. If those ideas bug you too much, the story is not for you. If you want an enjoyable, if flawed, read that can manage to burn a number of hours away while you wait for other fiction updates then this is a story for you.

3.5/5 for the beginning and general lack of HP characters involved.

Edit: Atrocious spelling.

 

I'd rep that post.

 

I completely agree.

 

1) More it's described as, because it's lengthened, it becomes wavy. Which is true about hair and not a stretch at all.

2) This is one of those instances you have to move past (entering her own story ideas a little too often).

3) I've seen his patronus changed in a lot of good fanfiction. Although this isn't wonderful, it's something plausible many authors do to express a change in a person's innermost workings. People often also change the shape of someone's boggart. As fears adapt, so does your sense of security, memory you use for the patronus, etc. etc. Considering Rawling never went too in-depth concerning the explanation of the possibilities of the patronus spell then you can easily excuse someone adapting their own take on the patronus.

Your 2nd point was valid. The other two? If they kept you away from stories and you're the standard DLP should adhere to (which is obviously strict, in itself not a bad thing), much of the library would be in the recycling bin, several good stories in fact.

You don't like the story. That's fine. If those three points honestly kept you away from this particular fanfiction then I applaud you for having such high standards across the board. I just don't think they're plausible for someone who reads a lot of fanfiction to adhere to and still enjoy the stories.

 

@Joschneide: I wouldn't have bothered addressing the first two points: the first was just nit-picky, and the second was (while a violation of Potter Law) more a 'Sree hates Indians' thing.

I most likely won't try to take up with this story again - I, like Sree, was put off from continuing by the first few chapters...it just got weird IMO. No one should ever read fanfiction and expect to find a weekend Hemmingway or (name prolific/talented author here), but a standard should still exist. This story sounds like it rates a notch above 'Knowledge is Power'; that is, its entertaining, but not necessarily good writing.

 

Messy hair stops becoming messy when it grows long because of the weight of the hair, thus it would have to be neater. As for the waves, considering it's never been described as wavy or straight, only messy, it's easy to decide for yourself whether you want your Harry to have wavy or straight hair.

Fears change as you develop as a person, as certain things occur to you. It's called growing up. Who can say without a doubt that the patronus's image wouldn't do the same? You can't, I can't, hell the creator probably hasn't even thought about it. This still isn't a valid reason for your dislike of an author, it's not even properly supported. You're nitpicking.

The school argument is a good argument that doesn't just scratch the surface and nitpick like your others. You should stick to those, they're better-argued and better-backed.

 

OMG! Harry's hair was changed. I hate this story now. It officially sucks because the main character's hair isn't messy anymore. 0/5 just for that.

People tend to change their names when they're trying to keep their true identity secret.

That's because she changes the system of magic (Harry can change his Patronus form at will), which is one of the best parts of her story and certainly a unique twist on the cliche of one only having one Patronus.

Look, the main problem with Sree's continuous negative commentary is that he's placing an unfair burden on the supporters of the story. Of course there are problems with this story - there are problems with every story, even classics such as Huck Finn (the last 1/3 of that story is often said to be horribly written, losing its moral message and becoming a mere children's book). In the end, Sree will find one of these problems.

But the fact is, what Sree is asking us do to (to defend every single fault in the story) is like asking me to prove that God doesn't exist or that there aren't flying pixies in the sky whenever we aren't looking. It's impossible. And it's not the right way to evaluate a story.

What we have to do is to take a critical, balanced view of the story as a whole, with all its pros and cons. And there are certainly many positive aspects of Miranda's story. Harry's attitude of "never give up." The enormous effort Miranda has put in developing a complete and sophisticated culture of a race Rowling has only touched upon. The ability of Miranda to use Rowling's original story as a base from which the author can expand and create her own universe. The entire atmosphere of the creative world the author has built up from the ground, which is full of danger and suspicion - the very things inherent in a good fantasy. The constant allusions to mysterious aspects of that world. The finely tuned, detailed magical systems that have been developed. A plot that exists. A plot in which Voldemort is not the main villain (even nonjon hasn't done that). The full character development of Daray as an independent OC in which the reader can predict his reactions to certain situations. Detailed descriptions of settings such as Akren and the Ministry. The magical atmosphere that literally radiates from the description of Akren.

How many of these positives can Sree successfully derail?

 

Thanks for the compliment.

 

I read the first chapter of Deceptions and it's pretty good. I saw some cliches, but I guess those can be explained by the story being written in '03, when the fandom wasn't as large. I'll read more of it when I wake up more.

 

Once again first few chapters are absolute shit. It gets much better as it goes on.

@Belerdorhan. I agree with you on OCs. In my opinion Daray and Namach are some of the best OCs period.

 

Actually, not necessarily true. It sometimes happens, but doesn't always. Just depends on the person's hair-- I know plenty of people whose hair gets messier as it grows out. Shit, mine did until it got well past shoulder length. Point is, she's changing the image of the character in a vain attempt to make him look more "badass" and failing horribly.

Bullshit this wouldn't occur to Rowling. She's a tool through and through, but this is so basic and obvious that even she would have a lot of trouble missing it. At no point is the possibility even mentioned in canon. Sure, it's not said that it's *not* true, but that really doesn't mean much-- I mean, the Harry Potter series never says that Hitler isn't Jesus in its fictional world, but we can assume that he isn't.

In the end, though, it would be an acceptable deviation from canon if it wasn't for one thing: Phoenix patronus. Ignoring that in canon a magical creature is never shown to be a patronus, there's still the fact that it's a bit stupid to tie a supposedly "realistic" and "human" character to a "saintly good" creature. Symbolic mismatch, and a sign of laziness. (There are plenty of real world creatures tied to pretty much anything you'd look for that aren't half as extreme.)

 

Dranco, Humbolt, and Darius on one side. Sree, Syao, and Trag on the other. I know which side I'd be on even if I hadn't unsuccessfully tried to plough into this thing a half-dozen times.

Then again, this fic may have fallen prey to what I've mentally dubbed the "Power of Time" effect. People who can't get past three years of nostalgia on one side. People who've only recently read it or have re-examined their opinions on the other.

 

A) Equating Hitler to not being Jesus as an assumption with assuming a certain spell works a certain way is a terrible argument. Sorry but it doesn't quite work that way. Authors in every fanfiction make across-the-board assumptions on spells and how they work. The patronus is no different.

B) As someone already pointed out previously, Harry can change the image of his patronus, a plot point the author explores. And again you're making assumptions. No one can have a phoenix patronus? Why tie it to a real world creature? I'd agree with you of the symbolic mismatch if the phoenix patronus was Harry's only true patronus now. But it's not. And I've read plenty of fiction where he had more than one form of his patronus.


It's called artistic license. Every author is guilty of it in some way, shape or form. If you expected an entirely canon experience with spell use, then you just need to stick to Rowling re-reads.