Sorry if what I said wasn't clear enough.. that's what happens when I try to copy parts of my reply in FF.NET and post it here.

As for the owls part, you understood what I meant, I know that it is stupid, but I've seen something like this done before, and I really don't want to see that again.

 

Just read the new chapter and enjoyed it quite a lot. It's nice to see you moving fairly quickly through the scenes and you're not dweilling on everything.

Lisa Turpin seemed alright and I have no problems with her. Kevin and the other boys a sort of do though. To me, Kevin is seeming like a Ravenclaw version of Neville, just with a ittle more skill. It's not a huge problem, but when it feels like a canon character under another name it gets a little annoying.

As to the bullies, I thought that was actually kind of unnecessary. Unless of course, you're playing to the fact that Kevin now seems to 'revere' Harry a little. I can't see three Ravenclaw boys beating up a guy who they'll be living with for 7 years just because he can't float a feather.I'm assuming the scene is in there for a reason, rather than as a filler so I'll let it slide. Though it kind of reminded me again of canon, just Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle who seem slightly more intelligent.

The Voldemort and Flamel scenes were great, and the best part of the chapter IMO.

I'm not much of a reviewer so I'll leave it with a great job, about fucking time, and update soon.

 

That scene was to set up Kevin's attitude for the later books. It was also to highlight Harry unknowingly asserting dominance in the dorm. This will be important for book five.

Thanks for clearing that up.

 

Liked the new chapter was kind of hoping the curse that Harry threw at Corner would be slightly more painful, but eh he's a first year, in his first couple of weeks of school, can't really expect any Crucio's or other torture curses yet now can we ? Glad you haven't abandoned this story as I enjoy it greatly, can definitely see Harry developing into a ambitious, intelligent wizard like he should have been in canon.

 

Loved the revision and the update. Definitely looking forward to more. You've been upgraded to a 4.5/5 for this one

 

This story is kind of cute. I´m very interested which way the story will take in the future.

It is an interesting idea that Quirrel got the stone, but it doesn´t really work. That is something new.

And I hope that the diadem will be more importment than in cannon, the title sounds promising *grin*

I give it a 4.5/5

A nice read, but it is just the beginning and I hope for good future chapters

 

This is definitely a Harry/Padma story...but I suppose any pairings if at all won't appear in the story untill 4th year at least.

But cool stuff. By the way, is the curse on the DADA position still effective? Or has it been lifted? *grin* It would be really funny if Quirrel of all people lasted longer than a year...

 

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The smilies appear like that because the copy/paste function screws up. It happens every single time I review because I write the reviews in Word first; though that still doesn’t really excuse the fact that they appeared in his post. I’m guessing he didn't preview his post and took the copy/paste as a given? <o></o>​

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@Seratin<o></o>​

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The story is very well written, I like the beginning quite a lot. The scene divider, the "D", made me frown in confusion for a moment. I realised what it was rather quickly, but it’s still a bit jarring whenever I come across it. It makes me stop every time and wonder why it’s there, even though I supposedly already know. <o></o>​

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Smallish fist pump and a cheerful yes at the ending of the first chapter, Flitwick is so my favourite character for that particular assignment. I lol'd at the Santa Clause reference in chapter two.<o></o>​

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Spoiler

Flitwick's character feels absent, and the lack of Harry/Fillius interaction is annoying as hell. An ongoing conversation between the two would have been far more welcome than the barest telling that we received. I feel like I'm reading a short-hand idea.

You're repeating information to your readers that they already know. Repetition becomes necessary over time, this is true, but not within the span of the same chapter. Having Harry go over the rake incident is one such, being told about the Dursley's reaction to his shopping trip is another; since you show us their reaction as well. All of those are jarring to the flow of the story.

The writing is starting to go downhill later in the second chapter and I’m not liking where it’s heading to be honest. I find myself not caring one whit about the Patils, they feel more like puppets than actual characters. Punctuation and comma-usage are also becoming problematic. It makes me wonder how you breathe when reading it to yourself.<o></o> <o></o>​

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I couldn't continue reading the third chapter, the interaction on the train just annoyed me too much. I skimmed the chapter, frowning at both the interaction with the hat and the chosen house. Personally I didn't see anything in Harry's character to warrant the selection. Hufflepuff would have been a far more believable choise. <o></o>​

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I give this a cautious 2.5/5. It needs some work, a bit of re-write also wouldn’t go amiss. I like the premise and the overall idea, but as I couldn't get passed the third chapter I can't recomend it.