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Challenger; Voice of the Nerfherders.

Challenge;
Harry Potter has spent the last two decades as the Magical World's own personal Larry Flynt with some degree of success. But as of late, he's grown tired of the eager-to-please, average house-wife types that have volunteered for his photographs. He's decided life needs a new challenge. That Challenge? Convince Tracey Davis; the intelligent, well-off, conservative-minded blood-purist to pose as his next featured-model.

Edit;

Taure wants one as well, so here we go...

Taure! Just for you!
Challenge;
Ginny knows. He thinks she doesn't, but she does. She does! The problem is, you see, Ginevra Weasley has chosen the wrong witch to accost.

 

Someone mind tossing a challenge my way?

 

I wouldn't mind one either.

Chengar, for you:

Thirty Minutes.

Harry was all in favor of anything that caused Draco a rough time, but perhaps Grawp had taken that sentiment just a little too far.

 

Alright, Vladdy, my man. Ive got one for you.

Challenge;

Harry and his group of priests and priestesses have finished the preparations to their ritual, live human sacrifice included. Now if only he could get rid of the meddlesome twits who insist on picketing his ceremony. Did they not respect religious freedoms anymore? Though, perhaps he shouldn't have chosen an open field.

 

what the hell throw one my way.

 

Fuck it, throw me one. I haven't written anything seriously since about a year after ff.net went Nazi. So 5+ years. Try not to make it too difficult.

 

§-p

Poor, Poor bastard.

Korisovra! I choose You!

Leangth: 8" minimum
Line: 'Er, Remus? are you wearing one of Molly's Bra's?'

 

Manatheron: George is back and better than ever, if slightly incorporeal. Unfortunately, he chooses the wrong ghost to prank, and discovers why the Bloody Baron is so feared.

 

Accepted.

Work schedule came in, 12 hour days. This is going to take a while, for that reason. I do, however, have an idea for this. If it goes how I want, this is certainly not going to be a likeable Harry.

 

Accepted, I'll have it to you by the end of the week. 8 inches? Where's my ruler?

 

Hopefully this isn't too horrifically bad for my first attemot at TGYH challenge.

------------

It had been two days since the battle at the Department of Mysteries, and Harry Potter was getting a little tired of having every single student at Hogwarts constantly badgering him for details and asking him to confirm or deny the wild rumors that had quickly spread.

"No." Harry resignedly answered when the bright eyed first year girl who had been chattering at him for the last half hour asked him if he had really killed a dozen Death Eaters. As the girl opened her mouth to ask question number 47 Harry quickly cut her off, "Sorry, but I have to go ..." Harry wracked his mind for a good excuse, "To the hospital wing to check on Ron and Hermione."

Silently congratulating himself for coming up with such a good excuse, Harry quickly departed before the girl could make another effort to entrap him in conversation. Deciding that unless he wanted the wizarding world to start calling him The-Boy-Who-Snapped-and-Killed-an-Annoying-Brat-Who-Asked-One-Too-Many-Questions he probably needed to get out of castle and find a bit of peace.

"Potter!" Harry mentally groaned as the all too familiar voice of Draco Malfoy came from behind him. "You're going to pay for..."

Harry turned around to see Malfoy with his wand out and an angry expression on his face and mentally sighed; he really wasn't in the mood to deal with this shit right now. "Expelliarmus. Accio Draco's Wand." After pocketing the wanna-be Death Eater's wand, Harry regarded his would-be nemesis and contemptuously added."Fuck off, Malfoy." Not giving the waste of oxygen time to respond Harry stunned him made his way out of the castle.

The sun was bright in the sky and the weather fine, but Harry's mood only darkened as he saw Neville Longbottom chatting with Hannah Abbot and Susan Bones, who both seemed to be raptly listening as Neville provided them with his own version of the events at the Department of Mysteries. The normally nervous and uncertain boy seemed to be eating up the attention the two attractive witches were heaping upon him.

"Oh Neville, you were so brave." Hannah said while subtly pressing her generous breasts against the boy's arm. Susan, not to be outdone by her friend, decided to express her admiration by kissing the boy on the cheek and whispering something in his ear.

"Neville fucking Longbottom has girls throwing themselves at him ... I get first years annoying the hell out of me." Harry muttered under his breath. Turning his gaze to the heavens, he sighed and declared. "It's just not fair."

"What's not fair Harry?" Asked a familiar sounding voice from directly behind him, causing Harry to jump slightly in surprise. After his brain quickly processed that he was not about to be ambushed by Voldemort and a dozen Death Eaters, he turned around to find Luna Lovegood standing a few feet behind him with her usual dreamy expression on her face.

"Oh ... hello Luna." Harry said, trying to recover his composure from her unexpected appearance.

"Hello Harry." Luna said, smiling brightly at him before her face shifted to pensive frown as she earnestly told him. "You seemed distracted and you were talking to yourself ... that's usually a sign of wrackspurt infestation."

"Um ... no, I'm fine." Harry responded slowly as his brain tried to process the girls statement. After a few moments of thought he gave a slight shrug and decided to attempt to gracefully leave the conversation. "I was about to go for a walk, so..."

Luna's smile returned full force as she declared. "I was about to go check on the outskirts of the Forest for signs of a Lowland Kurznot, Father told me there was one in the area recently." The girl paused, then asked with an un-Luna-like hesitancy. "Would you like to help?"

Harry was about to politely decline when some tiny part of his brain that comprehended a fraction of the female mind warned him that doing so would hurt the girl's feelings. With a mental sigh, Harry forced a cheerful smile onto his face and said. "Sure Luna."

Three Hours Later...

"...And that's the difference between the tracks of a Highland Kurznot and a Lowland Kurznot." Luna explained as she sat on her knees, getting even more dirt on her robes in the process, and studied a series of indentations in the ground that vaguely resembled animal tracks of some kind. "Father will be disappointed to hear it wasn't really a Lowland Kurznot, but I suppose whoever gave him the information couldn't tell the difference."

"Yeah, I wouldn't have been able to tell if you hadn't explained it to me." Harry agreed, his earlier dark mood having vanished hours ago; it was hard not to get swept up in Luna's cheerful enthusiasm. Just as he was about to ask her another question a loud crash came from within the woods.

"Oh!" Luna declared excitedly, leaping up from her position studying the tracks. "Maybe the Kurznot is still here! It's not as interesting since it's just a Highland Kurznot, but if it's here it would still be worth finding." With no further explanation the girl rushed off into the forest, eagerly seeking her prize.

"No, Luna, wait!" Harry cried out, recalling all the rather unpleasant things that lived in the Forbidden Forest. Seeing no other option, Harry drew his wand and plunged into the forest after the girl, hoping she didn't come across any centaurs, acromantulas, or ...

"GRAWP BORED!" The giant's familiar voice boomed out from the forest, followed by another crashing racket from the direction Luna had eagerly rushed towards.

"Shit." Harry eloquently declared.

Not wanting to risk his rather odd but very loyal friend being injured by Hagrid's little brother, Harry broke into a run toward's Grawp's clearing, and was most relieved when he heard Hagrid's familiar voice trying to calm the irate giant.

Harry emerged into the clearing just in time to see Luna calmly walk up to the two brothers and say, "Hello Professor Hagrid." As though there was nothing unusual about finding him in a hidden clearing in the forest trying to entertain a dangerously bored giant.

"Oh ... er ... 'ello Miss Lovegood." Hagrid said nervously, shifting his position in a vain attempt to block Grawp from view. "I was ... er ... well, y'see..." Hagrid nervously looked over the clearing, trying to find a way out of his predicament when his eyes fell on Harry. "Harry! What're you doin' here?"

"Oh, I was following Luna." Harry explained. "We were looking for Kurznot tracks when we heard a noise and..."

Hagrid glanced at Harry, then at Luna, then back to Harry, taking in the dirt on Harry and Luna's robes and their flushed faces from the run to Grawp's clearing. Suddenly a grin spread across the large man's bearded face and he shot Harry a none-too-subtle wink. "Right, 'course you were. Lookin' fer tracks."

Harry blushed and glanced nervously at Luna, his hormonal teenage mind taking the opportunity to point out that aside from the odd fashion sense she was fairly attractive. Suppressing that thought for the moment, Harry turned to Hagrid and said, "Anyway, now that we know everything's alright we'll get going, right Luna?"

Luna, who seemed to have either ignored or missed Hagrid's innuendo, gave Grawp one last appraising glance, then turned to Harry and said. "Yes, we should go back to looking for tracks." Harry suppressed a groan as Hagrid chuckled and shot him another wink.

The two were just about to depart when Draco Malfoy burst into the clearing and triumphantly declared. "You can't run away from me any more Potter, now I've got you!"

"Malfoy?" Harry asked.

"The two of you run into the woods, don't try to deny you were run away from me!" Malfoy crowed, brandishing a wand that Harry recognized as Goyle's. "You knew you were no match for a real wizard ... now give me back my wand and apologize and I may show you mercy."

Grawp, who had been briefly entertained by Harry and Luna's arrival but had already started to become bored again, was quite delighted by this new arrival. He could tell that, unlike the girl and the other boy, his brother did not like this new arrival, so the giant decided it would be fine if he used the human for a little bit of entertainment. Unfortunately for Draco Malfoy, a Giant's favorite form of entertainment was random violence and destruction.

Grawp casually uprooted a small tree and swung it at the Malfoy heir, who saw the blow coming in time to avoid having his skull crushed. However, on the backswing one of the tree's branches slammed Malfoy between the legs, lifting him several feet into the air before dropping him back down, where Malfoy promptly curled into a fetal position clutching his shattered equipment.

Grawp, very much amused by the effects of hitting Draco in the crotch, slammed a foot down on Malfoy's chest to hold him in place and eagerly lifted his tree-club, then proceeded to repeatedly strike Malfoy in the balls, chuckling happily at the groans Malfoy emitted.

Harry winced sympathetically as he saw Malfoy take multiple shots to the family jewels; normally Harry was all in favor of anything that caused Draco a rough time, but perhaps Grawp had taken that sentiment just a little too far. It didn't matter if it was mortal enemy or just an annoyance like Draco, Harry had to feel a little sympathy when he saw another man getting repeatedly hit in the balls.

"NO!" Hagrid shouted at his brother, desperately grabbing the giant's arm and making a futile attempt to restrain him. "BAD GRAWPY!"

"FUN!" Grawp eloquently countered, and with an almost childlike glee the giant shifted his focus to smashing each of Malfoy limbs in turn before finally crushing the Slytherin's head with a single mighty blow. Malfoy's struggle's ceased, and while Grawp continued to batter his corpse Hagrid's efforts to stop the giant slowed and finally ceased.

"Er ... tell ... Dumbledore ... help." Hagrid mumbled under his breath, looking despondently at the shattered corpse of the student his brother had just murdered. "Great man Dumbledore ... he'll know what to do."

Grawp, having grown tired of hitting Malfoy's corpse once it ceased spurting out new and interesting bodily fluids, picked up the shattered remnants of the once proud Slytherin and crushed them together into something vaguely ball-shaped, then tossed Malfoy's corpse into the air and slammed it with his tree trunk. Much to Grawp's delight, the force of his blow sent his victim soaring into the distance, unfortunately in the general direction of Hogwarts. Judging the horrified screams that came a few moments later, it had landed in front of a number of students.

"Well, so much for burying the body and hoping nobody notices." Luna said cheerfully to nobody in particular.

"GRAWP HIT BOY GOOD!" The giant happily declared, his earlier boredom now entirely cured.

 

:awesome: Doesnt have to be a likeable Harry. I'm sure itll be awesome either way. I look forward to it.

 

I want one.

Preferably within the next 4 or 5 hours.

 

@Korisovra:
That was wonderful. I really enjoyed it.
We get rid of annoying pain in the ass, irritatingly good-hearted idiot, and actively dangerous person all at once!

 

Ask and it will be delivered.

Challenge;

He couldn't believe it. He just couldn't fucking believe it. He, THE Harry Potter was married to Ginevra Weasley, the dirty little tramp from some nothing town, while fucking Dudley Dursley was married to a woman like... like... HER! There was no way in HELL he was going to stand for this!

Edit;

If anyone wants to toss one to me, I is bored.

 

Accepted, it may take a bit though, My schedual was rather rapidly filled agian. I hope to get it out by the end of the week, so please be patient.

 

May I have a reasonably easy one please? I've just finished my exams so I've got plenty of time on my hands.

 

Well, if this one grabs your interest:

Ginny, desperate to win Harry's interest, slips a love potion into his pumpkin juice one day. Things don't go at all the way she planned.

 

D:

No one's gonna post one for me now? What? Have I become persona non grata #1?

bitches.

 

Vash:

All his training. All the time spent. It was for naught. Harry would never be as magically powerful as Voldemort. At least, not in time to save the Wizarding world from destruction.

Harry now knows he must cheat if he is to win. He turns to summoning demons. Beings that can grant immense power, but there is always a price.

As Harry stares into the pentagram, an unholy light fills the room, and the stench of brimstone hits his nose, and he wonders how high the price will really be.

So, Vash, how high the price?