I'm not sure if this is worth anything, it's the first time I've written in English so... Voilà! Sorry about the colour, couldn't do anything about it, sorry.

Challenge :

Ginny, desperate to win Harry's interest, slips a love potion into his pumpkin juice one day. Things don't go at all the way she planned.

Lactose Intolerance​

The Great Hall was slowly emptying as Harry drained his goblet of pumpkin juice under Ginny’s watchful eye. She had earlier claimed that he wasn’t eating enough so had piled bacon and toast on his plate before busying herself with his goblet , spilling juice all over the table in the process. She then started on her own meal while occasionally smiling at him in a way... well he didn’t really know what to make of those smiles so decided to ignore them all together.

Harry wiped his mouth on his sleeve, earning himself a disgusted look from Hermione which was answered by a grin, and gazed at the remaining students in the hall, lingering on a seventh year Hufflepuff for a moment, before turning back to his friends who had finally finished eating.
They headed out of the Hall and towards the dungeons, waving goodbye to Ron who was heading towards the Common Room.

During the lesson, in which they were working on an Elixir to induce euphoria, Harry started feeling rather nauseous but blamed it on the fumes coming from his cauldron and didn’t think twice about it. However, an hour into the lesson he gasped as his stomach suddenly cramped up, feeling as if it was being poked with needles, before going away after a few minutes. The day caried on in the same manner, stomach ache coming and going and Harry ignoring the concerned looks, Hermione kept sending him.

After a very light lunch, Harry headed, with his friends, towards McGonagall's classroom and settled himself towards the middle of the room. He tried his best to follow the lecture but was distracted by the nauseous feeling that had come back with a vengeance and, with a friend. Said friend was currently sticking needles in his stomach, making it cramp and bloat before dropping what could – metaphorically speaking – be an anvil on his bowels. This had as effect, the rush of all the air in his stomach, towards the closest exit.

The Sixth year Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs stilled as the Mother of all farts escaped from the Boy-Who-Lived’s anus. Harry’s face turned from surprise to mortification as the silence turned into laughter. The scent of rotten cucumber and cheese embalmed the room causing the faint of heart to dry heave and cough. Others continued to laugh, imitating fart sounds and pointing fingers towards Harry, who had long since buried his face in his arms, as Hermione tried to hide her disgust enough to comfort him. McGonagall, well she stared at Harry with disbelief for a few moments before waving her wand to open the windows and requested silence.

Once obtained, McGonagall continued her lecture, occasionally glaring at the still sniggering students, until the bell rang and they rushed out to spread the news. Harry rushed towards Gryffindor Tower, with speed unseen since “Harry Hunting”, and from there jogged towards the lavatories. The anvil had helped release the gas, but with his copious breakfast this morning and his suspicious bowel movements all day, Harry should have been prepared for what happened next.

Harry locked himself in one of the cubicles, unzipped his pants - which were pulled down with his underwear - and sank down on the loo behind him. He relaxed his clenched stomach and put his head on his knees in shame. He shuddered. Sharp pain raced up his back, straightening it, as a gasp left his mouth. He lifted his head from his knees and pressed his palms against the wall as his body shuddered again, but this time, what felt like gallons upon gallons of dark, bloody, runny feces exited his crack painfully. He was left gasping, his eyes watering and his body sweating.

Harry waved his wand, opening the windows as to evacuate the smell and sat back trying to catch his breath. Just as he was about to wipe his bum, he heard the door opening and a nervous call of ‘Harry?’ He paused, paper in hand, trying to recognize the voice. Ginny.

‘Harry, Ron told me what happened in Transfiguration... I’m sorry.’
Before he could ask what she was sorry about, his body shuddered again. He moaned in annoyance, wondering how he could ask Ginny to leave without sounding too rude. However, she obviously had other plans, as he heard her sit down on one of the sinks.

‘Harry, I’m so sorry. I... I really didn’t think you would react to it like that... You weren’t supposed to, you were supposed to...’
‘Ginny, he squeaked out, I’m kind of busy...could you leave?’ Obviously she couldn’t as she went on talking.
‘I... I put a potion in your juice this morning, a love potion. You... you weren’t supposed to be ill, it was to make you happy... make me happy...’ She trailed of with a sigh.

Harry didn’t know what to do, he felt like ripping her head off but at the same time he was sitting on the loo, with his arse covered in shit... He had no where to go, and he really needed to know what in the potion was making him so ill. When asked, Ginny replied:

‘Oh, erm... a Werewolf tail, some Billywig blood, an Imp tongue, er... Centaur milk, Niffler hairs...’
‘Centaur milk?... Milk?’ Harry gasped out as another wave of bloody stools shot out of his ass violently shaking his body.

Ginny was hit with the foul smell and couldn’t hear him as she had run towards an open window. Harry cast a cleaning charm on himself and flushed the toilet shaking with anger. As he unlocked his stall and stepped out his gaze searched and found the redhead leaning out of the window. He walked towards her, his fingers twitching, longing to be around her skinny neck. He opened his mouth to speak, but apparently nausea's friend hadn’t finished with him, as he let rip a loud fart that echoed in the silent bathroom. Ginny, who was back to Harry, jumped at the loud noise and fell out of the window with a scream.

Harry, stared at the window where Ginny had been a mere moment before in shock. He walked towards it and searched for her body on the ground, grinning with satisfaction as he noted an immobile black dot with red hair on the grass. Turning around, he headed for the door intending to go to the Infirmary for his stomach, the sniggers of his classmates unable to put out his good mood.

 

A challenge answered and a Ginny Kill Off to boot. Beautiful. I would love to see other Harry's allergic reactions to various products/things/animals/people/etc.

 

I've got some time off between work, throw me one.

 

A new challenger as appeared: Seratin.

Time: Whatever
Length: Whatever.

Line: "I'm so sorry Mr. Potter. But we're going to to have to remove them." The old hospital matron said tenderly.

 

@Averis

That was pretty good but not exactly what I was expecting. I was more expecting them to put it on the shelves of their store and have a multitude of kids buy and use it in the middle of the Alley.

 

Nice work on the challenge Hira. I wasn't expecting the allergic reaction angle, and you did a nice job of describing the situation and Harry's reaction to it. Killing Ginny was a major plus of course.

I might be up for another challenge if you or anyone else wants to toss one my way.

 

@Poytin: Most people try to take these challenges and make them into jokes--which is fine, because I've certainly enjoyed them, and of course, done the same thing--but I thought I'd take this one somewhere else. I think it turned out okay considering the time I wrote it and the mindframe I was in at that moment, but it could have been better. Much much better.

@The Fine Balance: You're absolutely right. I might come back to it and elaborate or clean it up a bit, but I'm not really in any rush. I think a lot of the problems came with the style I tried to write in--my writing is usually detailed to the point of boredom, but I wanted it to be vague for some reason. Shit. I was high.

 

Felt you needed to experience your fic?

 

Can someone chuck me one?

 

Challenger: Malaga

Length: what you feel would work best

Time: What is time but an illusion

line: “ Harry, whats wrong” “ I think I just saw a Crumple horned snorcrack, in Snapes office, in his pants”


Or

Line: "Luna how exactly did you get your hand stuck in Hermione's.....You know never mind"

 

Noticed no one gave The Fine Balance one so I will.

"That is no way to make money Harry. You have the body parts in the wrong spot," Hermione said after looking at Harry's plans for after Hogwarts.

 

Fine was given two on IRC. D:

Also; fukken newbs and retarded challenges. >_>

 

Do you have a problem with my Challenges? And if so please tell me why and what I did wrong, they seemed fine to me. And rather different than the ones already on here.

 

They're far too specific. The broader a challenge, the better, because it gives the author freedom to surprise the reader.

Example from the previous thread: I got challenged to "Harry, Hermione, and a popsicle". This could have resulted in almost anything.

 

Next person to post a 'challenge' that consists solely of an innuendo-laden quote gets a nocturnal visit from a pack of trained rape octopi.

 

Ok see, now I know what to do and not to do. And can improve upon that and shall actively try to improve that.

 

Could someone throw me one? I haven't written anything in the past few years and want to have a go at it.

 

Well, hopefully you can find something interesting to do with this:

Challenger: Redd Lenses

Normally Harry never would have gone along with a mad scheme like this, but he was really bored and at the time it had sounded like a good idea.

I could use another challenge myself.

 

Challenger: Chengar Qordath

Peeves has three days left before his exorcism takes place. What will he do with the time?

 

And since no one else has mentioned it, I should let you know that Fight Club rules apply here. That means that you need to write a story before you can post a challenge (at least one that won't get ignored on general principal). The ratio of challenges to stories in this thread is pitiful, so get cracking people.

I've had a nasty case of writer's block lately, but maybe I can break it here. I'll look back at the rest of the thread and see if anything catches my eye (I doubt it, seeing as most of these challenges are pointless one-liners that aren't worth the time and effort it would take to shoehorn them into a decent one-shot), but if anyone has something specific in mind for me, go ahead and post it.