I guess I'm not seeing the point of the Vash-bash. From my comfy chair, this is the view:

Author wants to write. Author builds chops doing several fanfiction stories of increasing popularity. Author secures a contract with a publisher and sells a novel, apparently without a literary agent--impressive in its own way in today's market. Author finishes story and uses fanfiction popularity to market the original story.

It's a model that many in fanfiction (myself included) are watching closely in the hope that they may wish to emulate parts of it someday. It's amusing that the effort would be ridiculed because it's not a contract with one of the "big three," yet it's still a real publisher, not a vanity press shop. (Few who write fanfiction can put on airs about others' forays into original fiction anyway--even decent quality Diary of Anaïs Nin knock-offs would have difficulty passing themselves off as literary).

Originality? How many completely original ideas are there in the genre, or any, for that matter? Essentially none. That the germ of JBern's story shares a few superficial commonalities with a crap remake of a crap flick hardly disqualifies it any more than, say, every fantasy novel, each trying to recreate the magic of Tolkein (who was himself inspired by Beowulf).

Critics usually wait for the story to come out before ripping it up. Getting the order confused impels me to replace "critic" with "jackass" in my internal monologue, which itself leads me to think I'm missing important bits of back story. Perhaps someone can IM me with an illuminating link or three to fill me in....

 

Some people just dislike others.

 

Any chance I can get a signed copy of your book?

 

Hahaha, Jbern's fanboy droves cometh!

 

Wow. Meow.

 

Bio won this thread with 5 words. That's really all there is to it.

 

I find myself agreeing with Darius and Trag.

 

Crap aside, where can we get the book?

 

Amazon I believe.

 

It'll be on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. Signed copies, I'll look into that. Some authors do this thing where you download a "bookplate" and print it out. Next you send it in a self addressed stamped envelope, I sign the bookplate and send it back to you.

I dunno, sounds kind of hokey. Assuming things go well, I'll probably do a few conventions. I was originally hoping to do a "launch" at DragonCon in Atlanta over Labor Day Weekend, but given that daughter #2 is due in mid-August that's just not going to happen, but I'll be keeping an eye on the convention schedules for the MidAtlantic states.

Jim

 

You could have someone send it to you by mail , sign it, and then send it back. I'd be game.

 

Eh? You lost me there...

 

TML 7 Tease

Here's the first 1500 words of chapter 7. I have about 7500 done and I plan on finishing the chapter in the next 24 hours and sending it off to final editing.

Look for it by mid week.

Thankfully, I'm finally able to get Harry out of Hogwarts for an extended period. Ironically, I had a similar problem of Harry stuck at Hogwarts in TFtCD. All this emo-90120 shit just must not be my thing.

Chapter 7 – I’m Even on my Knees

You’re standing over a hot cauldron feeling lightheaded. Blood from the slits on your palms drips down the stirring rod and mixes with the pungent chemicals floating in the brass pot below. The metallic taste of the third blood replenisher sours in your mouth, but you stir on and fight the waves of nausea that threaten to overwhelm your senses.

The book says when and not if you get sick to do it into the pot. Necromancy – it’s not for the faint of heart or the weak-stomached. Oddly it’s not the first time you’ve worked with your own vomit before. Thundercloud was very convinced of the power contained in the fluids of the body. Blood, bile, hair, sweat, and even waste all have been touched by the witch or wizard’s magic. It’s primal and often disgusting. Some try to compare the “art” of potion making to chemistry. That usually holds up except for time like these when a bloke such as you happens to be doing the whole three witches from Macbeth thing.

One things for certain, the Harry Potter of twelve months ago would have recoiled in horror at the scene in front of him. Fortunately, you aren’t that idiot anymore.

It’s probably a bit childish to imagine how angry Dumbledore is going to be, but you need that motivation right now to keep you going. You needed his help to get at the Horcrux here at Hogwarts. The locket isn’t here and it’s a good bet the cup isn’t as well. You don’t need him nearly as much as he needs you. When this works, because you’re not willing to accept that it won’t, it’s time to get the hell out of here. Kwan is due back tomorrow and he sent an owl ahead simply saying he was successful and to pack for cold regions.

Kwan’s a man of frustratingly few words, but he knows how insecure Owl Post is, so his caution is understandable. That doesn't make it any less irritating.

In typical wizarding world fashion, your little rant to Susan Bones has been the topic of Rita's commentary and all over the wireless for the last three days. It's almost tempting to send a letter to Riddle and ask him why he really wants to rule all of this. He must be truly nutters. Most believe you've been lying low, simply attending classes and keeping your mouth shut to cover the truth – complex rituals take time.

“Does Puny Harry need another Potion?” Your troll asks from his comfortable spot on his couch. He's shrunken himself down to a reasonable size and is walking with an intentional limp. With Hermione coming over to bother you on a daily basis, Hack's suite was the best place to dabble in slightly off-color magic. Besides who is going to question any strange smells coming out of Hack's room? Bill is down in the Hogwarts library being seen and establishing his “plausible deniability”, only one of you has that diplomatic immunity and if they threw your Cursebreaking buddy into Azkaban, Fleur would be upset and probably willing to level the prison to get him out.

In a Fleur versus Azkaban matchup, even without assistance, your money is on Fleur. “Not yet, but be sure to give me one right after I ….” You spend the next few seconds emptying your stomach and blink several times while your eyes water. “Okay, give it to me.”

Hack uncorks the bottle for you and holds it to your lips. Choking it down you fight back the sensation to blow chunks again. Only thirty more minutes of this to go before the two hours of chanting. Who says magic isn’t fun? At least you’ve narrowed down the name of the thing to “Chuck” or “Ralph”. “Barf” just wasn’t going to cut it.

Now that you've done your best bulimic impression you have to know, "Hack what's with the limp?"

"Hack is Harry's assistant, like greatest troll who ever lived – Igor. Destroyed foolish wizard’s monster, killed foolish wizard, and fathered fifty-seven children by fifteen different trolls."

"I haven't heard that version before."

"Wizards always tell it wrong, supposed to be a love story. Hack tell you sometime."

"I'm looking forward to it, buddy." It can't be worse than this.

------

Dear Harry,

I will not claim to understand the position you now find yourself in. Repairs continue here in the cavern. Those same repairs were also the reason I haven't strayed out beyond the barrier to update my journal until this morning. Please accept my apologies that I did not reply immediately.

As to your current position, given your description of the British press, I do not recommend a direct interview. I would instead employ the Ambassadorial staff to prepare a written press release which can be interpreted, but not taken out of context as the spoken word can.

Having seen my fair share of history, I will tell you that the world is full of those waiting for someone to shoulder their burdens. Instead, seek to clarify your minor spat with this witch and turn it into a clarion call for action and personal responsibility in this conflict.

As to the conflict between yourself and Albus Dumbledore, I do not know the man, but I know the type. He is as convinced that his course of action is the best and is unlikely to be dissuaded. Steer a parallel course where you can and chose your battles wisely. I suspect the footstool incident was sparked by his knowledge that you do not like to be placed in situations where you are helpless. It is in your predator nature to chafe under that type of duress.

I approve of your plan to create the homoculus. Of course, take that for what it is. In the time of the real Conquistador who I ape, results were all that counted. If a darker spell would aid in subjugation of a village or help achieve a goal, a blind eye was turned. The level of hypocrisy would fill volumes, but you are merely trying to secure your freedom and this I know. Freeing yourself will again establish that you are a force to be reckoned with and remove his hold over you. Furthermore, it shows that you countered his provocation with a maneuver he did not expect rather than unleashing your fury. It may force him to reevaluate his dealings with you.

Finally, you are at a juncture where your worst enemy is yourself. Recognize that you have the power, but not the experience to wield it. I do not seek to slight you, but even you must admit this. All parties seeking to use you for good or ill will attempt to exploit this fact to their advantage. To achieve victory, you must be your own harshest critic and willing to admit when you have made missteps.

Until our next communication I remain,
Hernando

Often, it takes an outsider to keep things in perspective. The statue of Hernando de Soto sequestered in his hidden city is about as far removed from your conflict as possible. You hand the journal to Bill who takes it from you and points to the thing making gurgling noises in front of you.

"I suppose this is the part where I say congratulations. It has your eyes, sort of – at least the one that manages to open. Do you feel any different?"

"Actually Bill, I do. I'm pretty sure Ralph here is chipping in now. I think it's about time we brought the old man in on our new arrival."

"Ralph?"

"Chuck sounded too much like your brother, so I went with Ralph. Isn't he adorable? Yeah, I know. He's disgusting. I almost named him Albus Severus Potter, but that just seemed cruel. Why don't I slip out to Hogsmeade and you make a discreet inquiry on how well the wards are charging?"

He spends a minute scanning Hernando's correspondence. "He'd make a good Headmaster if we could get rid of Dumbledore. As for your plan, Harry, you should just go straight out the gates. Whenever you try to 'slip out' anywhere, chaos ensues."

"Very funny, but the senior ambassador has requested that I go see Mr. Santos for instructions, so either way I've got a legitimate reason for going."

“De Soto’s advice coming a bit too late?”

“No, Ambassador Dimperio seems to be thinking the same thing. Initially, we hoped it would blow over, but you know Skeeter and her ilk. He and some of his staff are coming to the castle this evening and we’re going to hammer out either a press release or, Merlin help me, a speech. Obviously, you know which one I’d prefer.”

Bill nods as you set "Ralph" back down in his/its bassinet. Dobby is taking care of the thing's feeding, but it’s a good bet that Dobby and quality child care aren't necessarily a good fit. Look at how Draco turned out. Fortunately, that's where good old Hermione comes in. She doesn’t know it just yet, but with power comes responsibility and that’s what she’s just about to get.

 

A great beginning. The best was the burn on ASP, Hermione's responsibility, and Hack's hero. Well done.

 

Would hermione have to breast feed it? thats the first thought that came to mind...

<Shrugs>

 

Fuckin' A.

That was a great teaser, I can't wait to see the rest of it.

 

I thought she was gonna have to fuck it...didn't she have to sleep with Harry to seal the (blood protection) deal?

 

Harry suggested it to mess with her, but they didn't actually fuck.

 

Beyond epic.

 

Oh.

I still hope she has to fuck Ralph.