I really enjoyed this one. The first thing that struck me was the grammar. I could count on the fingers of one hand the number of noticeable typos, which is impressive, considering the length of it. So many fics are just plain unreadable because the author lacks the ability to press the spellcheck button, regardless of how inspired the plot may be.

Also, the characterization. I know it's been mentoned before, but it is amazing to find characterization this realistic in a work of fan fiction. Hell, I actually think the characterization for this fic was better than canon. Canon Harry should have turned out nine different shades of fucked up with his childhood, yet he still ends up being your typical save-the-day hero? I don't think so. Harry has been shaped throughout the fic by the events around him, into a similar, yet very different person than in canon.

I really like Neville in this, surprisingly enough. You can see the shadow of canon Neville in him, but you can also clearly see how specific events have changed him. Too many authors that write AU change the characterization with no real reason. Yes, it's interesting that he/she's like that, but how did they get that way? It's a question that's often neglected, and I'm glad to see someone finally put in serious effort to answer it.

One of my new favorite fics. 5/5

 

So this Harry has trained, trained, trained, and is supposedly very streetwise, et cetera...

And he gets his ass handed to him.

I don't know, I found his behavior in this chapter to be totally uninspiring.

Spoiler

The way he bawled, "Who are you people?" during the resurrection ceremony was pretty lame for a kid who's been around the block like he has.

And way to go with the animagus form. It apparently never occurred to him to even attempt to fly the fuck out of there. I hate it when authors give Harry powers and then never have him put them to good use. Use it? I just have it for bragging rights.

Granted, this isn't one of those standard cliché fics where he gets an animagus form and a new super-wand, blah blah, blah... but still.

Ever notice how Pettigrew is constantly saved by his enemies' stupidity?

 

Eh, that was extremely weak.

Ever since the Voldemort/Death Eater element has entered this story it's been going downhill. The author has fallen into the trap of arranging things in a highly unlikely way simply for the purpose of making the story stay in line with canon. A common problem for AUs - people for some reason are willing to change the set-up, but when it comes to the actual events of the story they have to keep them the same, making the entire story worthless.

I cannot put into words how much this latest chapter pissed me off lol. In one chapter, the story went from a 4/5 to 2/5.

 

This chapter sucks for so many reasons i have a hard time listing them all...
First Peter finds Harry immediatly for no good reason at all, then Harry instead of doing the intelligent thing (like either hitting Peter from behind or changing into his animagus form and flying off) let's himself be suckered like an idiot.
If you are writing an AU then write a FUCKING AU and don't take a sledgehammer to your story just so you can fit the rather silly canon into it.
Have voldie capture a random order member (even a high ranking one if you prefer) and bleed him dry for the ressurection.

 

I agree, very poor chapter. The only reason Voldemort was so adamant to use Harry's blood for his new body was because he got burnt on Lily's protection in Book 1. Without that event, and with Harry losing his blood protection when Sirius had removed him from the Dursleys, there was no need for the author to try to fit him into the resurrection scene in such a clumsy manner.

 

wow I think harry was even more pathetic then in the original story's graveyard scene. And damn I know this has been said a thousand time for story's but I really hate it when they teach him martial art's...you know for supposedly 'master' martial artists you'd think they would teach him something useful like punching them in the throat or just the hole CFA fighting style.

 

if you teach martial arts he won't be going for the throat. He'll go for the "accepted" ways to attack. It's one of the reasons why true fighters usually dislike martial artists, like boxers they stick to certain rulesets.

Of course it would be more logical for Harry to find an ex-marine or something similar to teach him streetfighting, but those people seldom teach kids.

 

Thats what I'm saying...The Contemporary Fighting Arts(CFA) CFA dispenses with the extraneous and the impractical and focuses on real-life fighting. CFA is not for competition it does not practice forms(katas) or any other obsolete rituals.There are no fancy leaping kicks or hip punchs and it does not adhere blindly to tradition for tradition's sack.

also I'm I think it's thought to the military and stuff.

 

Looks like the flaming on Sirius' sudden (and absurd) de-balling affected the author in the latest chapter and a prompt 180 has been undertaken.

The Voldy resurrection was kinda gay, but at least there was some action. I'll take what I can get in this fic.

 

Really? I would think streetfighters would like going against strict martial artists, as they tend to be more predictable (rulesets and all that). And Marines seldom teach kids how to fight like Marines because it's too damn effective. Arm/wrist locks and take downs are good for civilians (who are then supposed to run away or get help), but military combat is supposed to substitute for a lost gun or knife, i.e. killing instrument.Although, I'd argue that Sirius and Harry could have found an ex-military type and used a little magical persuasion (or, you know, money), but that's neither here nor there.

Taure said it in a similiar discussion: to voluntarily teach a child how to actively participate in a dangerous situation, as opposed to how to properly get help/escape, is insane.

It used to be taught to the military, but recently the combatives (at least for the marines) were re-done - watered down and organized to incorporate BJJ-style takedowns and submission holds. I suppose the feeling is that hand-to-hand confrontations are so rare, that the risk of having post-Iraq soldiers running around with fatal h2h training and a chip on their shoulder isn't the best of ideas - not to mention arguably unnecessary with the advent of UAV and other more sophisticated weaponry.

 

Errr dislike as in look down their nose when they see them brag about their black belts. Not dislike as in "i don't want to fight him he might hurt me".
And yes, even the limited close combat training i got in the Austrian Army is not something i'd teach my little brother ("how to use a foldspade to inflict mortal wounds", "10 zones to hit with your knife to inflict maximum pain"). Mostly because i don't want him to hit someone in the throat in a schoolyard scrape. But Harry is a rather special case, so honestly i think Sirius should have tried to dig up some streetfighter/merc to teach harry the dirty side of combat. Martial Arts is nice as a sport (and might help a wizard since it improves agility which is rather important for dodging) but it won't teach him how to make his enemys bleed, which is what he needs the most.

 

Nice story. I worried a bit from the author's favorite list, [lot's of HP/DM] but this turned out to be surprisingly well. This is very similar on some fronts to 'Knowledge is Power' if Sirius would have taken him instead. Good characterization, good plot, nice writing. I like.

He just needs to pin them down. Magic will do the rest.

 

Not necessarily, pinning isn't going to be much help other than stalling; Especially if there's more than one opponent, he loses his wand, the wand snaps, ect... It'll help him, no doubt, but in the long run he'll need less passive ways to take down Death Eaters.

 

Sob I have been following this fic since it was posted in the review section, and I enjoyed it up to today. But noooo I log into my c2 see its been updated check out the chapter and enjoy it up to the end when I read this fucked up shit.

Harry’s mind, with a life of its own, shot to the very pretty red-haired girl with the very awesome older brothers that he’d talked to this morning. The pretty red-haired girl with the pretty brown eyes.

“No, nothing,” he said.

This was a crappy plan, but he would get a chance to see what she looked like with his corrective lenses. Sirius gave him a questioning look, but Harry ignored it and went back to work on his sandwich. I’ll get to try out for the Quidditch team! I’ll finally get to play with other people! Maybe she plays Quidditch . . .

 

Yeah this fic is starting to go down with its wanting to fit canon and the suddenly weak Harry.

 

Eh. If he's lost his wand then he's lost the fight anyway - no amount of physical fighting skill is going to help him, unless the Death Eater has lost their wand too. If Harry's facing down a Death Eater with a wand and he doesn't have one, then the correct course of action would be to run.

 

The sequel is up. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4423362/1/The_Wise_One_Book_Two_Awakening

 

A good story. Nothing more, nothing less.

The sequel looks like it might be good to.

 

First chapter of the sequel wasn't bad. 3/5.
Still, after the ending of the first one, it's going to have to do a shit load more cool stuff to win back my support.

Harry's "lethal martial arts skills" actually being fucking useful for once would be a start.

 

Not bad, but being sorted into Gryffindor and the way everyone practically celebrated (even Fawkes) when he got put there was lame. Thank god he's not an evil ravenclaw!

Plus I hate the "attending hogwarts under a false identity" thing in every fic I've ever seen it in. But whatever.