No I don't. If a world is internally coherent, no suspension of disbelief is needed.

 

If I may, what do you find to be incoherent about it?

 

Off to go read the fic again so I can go through it systematically.

Being banned from TS means I have the time to do it.

 

Hm, very much appreciated. I'm looking forward to it.

 

Okay, I lied. I started to do this, but then I realised that effectively betaing 50k words of story was not my idea of a fun Saturday night.

So yeah, you win by default.

But I have mentioned some of the stuff that brought me out of immersion earlier in the thread. Actions I considered unbelievable given certain factors, the arbitrary/wandering nature of the plot progression, the ease with which Harry's protections are breached (given that Dumbledore is possibly the most powerful wizard in the world and that Harry is his top priority), much of the magic doesn't meld well with my view of canon (lots of it seems more like Dresden magic), the fact that Harry wasn't located very quickly (the whole 'Tonks didn't read the paper' thing didn't convince me, and just seemed even more convienient).

 

I have to say that I liked the whole idea that Tonks didn't read the paper, it irony was delicious.

Overall, while the story is still very enjoyable to read, it is still very hard to see where the plot actually comes in. Well written and so on, but what is the plot?

I'm content to be patient and wait for it, at least. I get the feeling RustyRed has planned this out, and has some decent stuff in store for us.

 

Good update. Malfoy's fate pleases me and the river spirit was interesting.

I'm not sure I buy Fudge having much leverage on Harry even if he started randomly AKing people at this point, though. If Dumbledore was dead maybe, but with the master politician still kicking post-OOTP Fudge is totally neutered (probably part of the Dumbles master plan(tm)). Hopefully he gets slapped down into place quickly.

 

I think the next chapter is going to be very interesting. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe most people were led to believe that he willingly chose to come aboard the ship and take part in the pit. Fudge's reaction and the extent that the law reaches to the Galleon will be something I will take great interest in. Can the law touch the Galleon? Or has it become so powerful due to it's clientel that it is nearly-untouchable and actions on it don't bring severe legal penalties in the real world.

The spirit seemed interesting, and good riddance for Malfoy. I can see Harry's mindset a little clearer with this chapter. He tried to patch Malfoy up, but, when it became clear that Malfoy was doomed and only dead weight, Harry hardly blinked in leaving the man to fend for himself.

I'll give it a 4.5/5 for me right now.

 

Nice Chapter. However like Sesc, I very much doubt that there is anything that Fudge can actually legally charge Harry with. Even if the events on the Galleon were chargable by the Ministry, I don't think there was any proof that Harry did anything illegal. The people on the ship only know that:
1. Harry participated in two Pit fights.
2. Harry had a fight with Malfoy.
There isn't anything really concrete to pin down.

Even with the matter of the wand, there isn't shown any sign that anyone actually knows what the wand is, seeing as how Tonks, at least, is completely clueless to what it actually is.

The only thing I can really think of here, is that perhaps Fudge wants to somehow bribe/blackmail Harry into revealing the full details of what happened so that the Ministry can get some popular press or something, but that itself seems unlikely.

Looking forward to your next update.

 

Well, I for one really enjoyed that chapter. Definitely looking forward to the next one.

 

I just cought up with the last three chapters.
Aside from the fact, that there really is no coherrent plot as of now - and I'm with Ellisande on that, I can wait - it was really enjoyable.
I hope Harry is a bit more intelligent this time and actually tells someone what happened and what he apparently is able to do. He needs help and he knows it. Especially if he is to find out how the water spirit (which I liked, by the way) was imprisoned.

I'll definitely keep my vote at 5/5
Now go and update.

 

So, eh, it's been a couple of Wednesdays since the last chapter -- and this is the best, most unique fic I've read lately... what's happenin'?

 

I was begining to wonder the same thing. It almost seems like alot of the ff I read have not been updated lately.

 

Always take the author's predictions on when he can get the next chapter out with a pinch of salt. You never know what sort of work/school or other real life commitment can crop up.

I mean, take Jbern for example- No offense to him of course, as he has a kid now, but his update for TLIL came out three weeks past the date he set down for his readers.

So yeah, Rusty will update when she updates. That's all that can be said, I think.

 

Loved it, but a bit rushed at times, and you're introducing a FEW too many new concepts. Loved the blood wand.

Eleven out of ten for originality.

Oh and LOL at the river spirit. Actually LOL.

 

If blood can be used to escape (Lucius's blood ultimately), why didn't Harry use his own blood to escape rather than put it into a wand?

 

I assume it's because he didn't think of it until after he saw all the blood pooling on the floor, having only used the ability once before.

Also, he needs to get enough blood on the floor to fit his body through. He'd probably pass out from blood loss if he did that

 

To RustyRed:

Don't get discouraged about writing because from what I have seen, the people on this forum have a very strong tendency to blow very small things out of proportion. I'm new to this community but my immediate first impression was that they spent way too much time trying to find little nitpicky mistakes or inconsistensies. Whenever they find little plot holes, they focus all their attention on them, instead of considering the actual story as a whole.

It's like they all expect a perfect story. Nobody's perfect, and the fact is whether or not they realize that they criticize small things, they don't help matters by being harsh about it, instead of presenting their critiques as constructive, friendly criticism.

That being said... the number of 5/5's in this thread is astounding. Your originality and sheer creativity are astounding, and I think the plot is moving at a very good pace. Some have complained that they'd like to see more explanations, but what would be the point of that? The whole point is that Harry doesn't really know what kind of powers he has or what the Other Side is -- shouldn't the story be about how Harry learns more and more about his powers as time goes on? Don't ruin the adventure and mystery just because some people want to know everything (although I don't think you planned to).

Eagerly awaiting your next update.

5/5.

 

For a site that focuses on "little nitpicky mistakes or inconsistensies" and never considers "the actual story as a whole" it really makes you wonder where the hell all of those 5/5's came from...

Generally when you're posting on a site, especially when it's only your second time, it's usually not a good idea to post a message to the author in a public forum spending 2/3 of the paragraphs insulting that said site.

On the story...it's only gotten better since it's started and I'm still looking forward to reading future updates.