traditionally, an O.C is a miserable attempt by the writer to insert herself in the universe, and an attempt to be "cool" since she is friends with Harry Potter. this fic was better than most O.C/Mary Sue fics, but that isn't saying much.
2.3/5

 

I actually only clicked on the topic because I thought it said "the Transfer Student from the Enterprise", which, while still stupid, might have been worth a giggle.

"Not your average transfer student story!" however, can only be stupid. At least it doesn't suffer from 1000 words-chapters...

 

Ok, so here's my final summary.

The story is undoubtedly flawed: starting with the entirely overpowered nation of Kirians, whose Mages can conjure gold and Warlocks can put any Auror to shame, ending with a drastic lack of justification of some of the major events. (Why did the main character come to Hogwarts? Why does Harry abandons his friends so easily in favour of a person he barely knows? And why does the Mage gives him her trust so quickly? etc.) This list wouldn't exactly go on forever, but I don't have the required patience to point out every notable flaw of this story.

Disregarding all of the listed downsides, I kept reading it. Without a break till what looks like 4:13 in the morning. Why? Because, just for a couple of pages, I decided to leave my logic behind and see what happens. The result was a complete surprise: I actually started to like it. I got hooked up and, with occasional cringe at some of the worst moments,

Spoiler

The scene where she tells Harry about the rape incident was just too Kinsfire-ish even in my disbelief-suspended state.

I finished the fic without so much as a washroom break.

There's no denying the fact that any author's job is to write their stories in such a way, that the reader has no choice but feel interested. "The Transfer Student" fails at that and as such has no place in the Library. Still, if you feel like putting effort into liking this story you might be rewarded. I know I was.


3/5 - This story doesn't deliver. You have to go and get it yourself.

P.S. Huh, I think this was my first ever attempt at a decent review.

 

I stopped reading somewhere at "Magicwarper'.

Actually, I lied. I didn't even click the link after seeing some of the quoted parts.

I'm all willing to give Harry/OC a chance, but with plot devices like the OC being a transfer student, and hailing from some uber place with uber powers, there is no way that this fic won't fail.

1/5

 

I had to fight against it in the beginning due to obvious reasons lsited above.

But as Cathal said, I went until the end without a single break as well - really idiotic of my part since I couldn't wake up for school - and the end surprised me also.

The end, at least, was somehow better than the rest of the story. I'm sure you'll all agree if you put the repetitive idea and the ubber awesomeness of Liane behind and read the story until the end.

As it stands, 3/5.

 

Huh. I definitely feel that the author had tried to integrate the customs from another book series into this story.

This was interesting. For a transfer student story, it's pretty good. The concepts were somewhat unique. Sure, the OC was definitely OP, but for her age in the Harry Potter-verse, nothing too unbelievable. The overall plot was quite enjoyable.

That said - the execution was weak in my opinion. The writing seemed - loose. I didn't notice many grammatical/spelling errors (not that I was looking for them) but it lacked a certain tight coherent structure. The characterizations of many of the HP cast played straight into cliche.

I will forgive though making the Kirians (or whatever they're called) overpowered compared to the British Wizards. J.K. Rowling's society is so inherently flawed that it is forgivable to pick on them.

3/5

 

The story begins with a rather fresh exciting take on the Harry Potter world, it opens by giving one all sorts of questions on which to ponder; 'Who is this Lord Master?', 'Why does does he have two incredibly inane titles?', 'What is this "standard pose" to which the author refers?', 'Could be it be some sort of hot sexual position?', etc. The author then continues, with brilliant prose, to explain the 'gross incompetence of politics' in a culture we know extremely little about and thus have no reference point or any idea in the slightest what they're even talking about. WILL THIS BE REVEALED AT A LATER DATE PERHAPS?

The main character of this gripping tale, is finally revealed to be called 'Liane, the Magicwarper', this is a particularly clever and ingenious name for the author to choose and is no way belittling to the mysterious character that the author has thus far attempted to create. What could the talents of this 'Liane, the Magicwarper' possibly be? Could she have the ability to warp magic? Anything could be a possibility at this stage! Equally as mystifying is the name we are provided with for her companion; 'Amy Icebender'. Whilst obviously not as terrifying and mystifying as 'Liane, the Magicwarper', for who indeed would let their best friend be even slightly as magnificent as they, the name 'Amy Icebender' has it's own unique questions; 'Who would in their right mind with the last name of Icebender call their child Amy?', 'If it is not an inherited surname, how on earth does one bend ice?', perhaps these will be questions that are never answered.

Let us hope so.

0/5

 

Upon further reflection - wtf is a Kirian? Where is it? How the fuck does it support an economy with homo-sapiens as an indentured class? Why isn't there an Amnesty International presence there?

I want answers to these questions.

 

Write the author an e-mail. Or better link him to this thread.

Oh, and if I'm not mistaken, Kiria is supposed to be some sort of a country somewhere in the magical world. Not a bad idea (magical world having different countries/borders) but severely underdeveloped.

 

Hmmm ... looks like this is from the same author who wrote 'Mahou mo Ken'. I remember reading MMK a while back. It was rather average and had this annoying focus on Jap customs -- but a decently written and fairly enjoyable fic, otherwise. And I'm pretty sure MMK made it to the 'Recycling Bin' here in DLP.

So, yeah. I'll probably skim over this 80K(!!!) one-shot.

 

Kirians? Hey, dat bring back sum memory... CAN THIS HAS BE VAMPIRE EARTH TIEM NAO? 8D


... Owait, that's "Kurian". And my thirst for a decent HP/VE cross must go unsatisfied still, it seems.

Contributing nothing to the discussion, and signing just to be annoying,

Mors

 

*activates the Admin signal to ban this troll*

 

-Pops up VATS with fatboy and lines up a headshot-

: D



Edit: sorry, too much Fallout3