This is a challenge I have accepted from Shujin1 of ff.net and I don't think it would be cheating to ask what you guys think so far of the concepts. I get bonus points for including a bond.

Anyway, so far the idea I have is that Harry, in the summer of fourth year, is being his normal bitching emo ass about Cedric and the onslaught of Voldemort driven nightmares. A particularly vicious one sends Harry to unconsciously send out a magical sonar (exact details other than raw power and accidental magic, haven't figured out) which pings on a London vampiress.

Vampires find mates this way, flinging magical power around in a show not unlike a peacock strutting for the chicks. Most vampires die off within a century, some can live carefully up to around 400 years before they go mad from magic deprivation and have to be put down by the Ministry.

Aforementioned vampiress is suffering from an onset of magic deprivation; a magical mate will stall it since she can then access his magic. Born of desperation, Harry's magical "ping" is impressive. She accepts but is less than pleased with the boy himself.

To make him more suitable, she deprives him of sleep by using the bond to give him nightmares, forces him to learn Dark spells or risk having his precious friends and Godfather fed on, or his wand snapped, gives him weekly assignments of telling her, by name, wizards and witches to kill, finding volunteers to Crucio the Boy-Who-Lived, etc...

Good idea? Think I should crawl back into my parent's basement? Any noteworthy stories on how to torture Harry properly?

 

I don't know... magical sonar sounds silly. Besides that it's okay, though it have weak points. How long are you going to make this story?

 

As long as it needs to be, I suppose. I doubt it will work as a oneshot. I might end with Harry saying fuck it, and killing her, or I might end with him and his Gryffindor honor joining Voldemort as all other vamps were.

40k? 50k?

 

Insane & evil older woman teaching the Dark Arts to Harry and shagging him? Sounds like the standard HP/bella plot. Fanboy mode on, I'm in. Then again there's many it could fail.

Fuck no. DLP-worthy Harry doesn't join Voldemort. He could infiltrate the DE to kill Voldemort, but really join him ? Fail.

DLP-worthy uses his newly gained powers (is he turned or just the vampire's mate ?) to become... Dark Lord Potter.

 

Aha, my mistake. So I have to turn emo!Harry who has yet to lose faith in Dumbledore into a true badass motherfucker. And the stakes raise...

Hmm, I wouldn't know about a standard Bella plot. Does that mean I should focus more on dehumanizing Harry or simply a warning against mindless smut?

 

To find out what's DLP-worthy, read this (This is not gospel or anything, but a general guideline. And full of lulz)

Bella plot : you have to keep the vampire's character interesting (insanity is very hard to write), and make Harry's descent into darkness believable. AND watch out for mindless smut.

 

Ha! That was very lulzy, thanks for the link.

 

Like some others have said, I hope you find another name for a magical sonar cause the name just sounds extremely silly. Besides that I'm not sure what I think about the plot. It'll be really easy to make it suck, so I'll have to read it and see I guess. Also I would like to see you not go overboard on the emoness or the 'torturing' because that gets old after awhile. Best of luck.

 

It would be a very fine balance, and I am going to fail miserably. I seem to never want to be nice to myself; on that note does anyone know any fics of goingInsane!Harry that is well done?

It's a weird edge I'm dancing around. Won't allow myself to sop out and copy but the amount of fail I seem to be inviting is staggering.

 

Me and Mindless already hammered out a DLP-worthy Vampire!Harry fic here. No, you can't have it.

Harry that is lead by the balls into being powerful by someone ridiculously overpowered is never awesome. Sorry, but no. And the way you've written it, you've gone beyond that and made him her bitch.

 

I wrote the first chapter of a crazy!Harry story a few months ago in the WbA section. Unfortunately, no one understood what was going on because I didn't instantly reveal that Harry was crazy; since I don't like explaining things to stupid people, I discontinued work on it.

Here's the link to: Repression

 

Here's an idea, stop making smut about fourteen year old boys.

Seriously, bump up his age to at least eighteen or so. Makes it less creepy and more original.

 

Staggering, but don't give up yet. Write a little - i.e. try on your characters for size. You don't necessarily have start on the first chapter, just a random conversation will do. See where it goes and you'll find your characters will develop from there.

I'd make the bond something Harry doesn't agree to and has no wish to be a part of it. It would add a great deal to the crazy vamp vibe that sounds like you're going for. Try for a Stockholm syndrome direction with the fic.

Magical sonar? Wut? LOL, I don't think vamps are out to save the whales so let's try for something a little less laughter inducing. How about Harry subconsciously sends out a strong psychic pull because he's feeding off of Voldemort's crazy powers (or something similar) and this greatly attracts the vamp's notice.

You could go the Laurell K. Hamilton route and make him into her human servant in exchange for power and help defeating Voldemort. Or perhaps she enthralls him because wizards live for a long time and hey, free meals! He breaks free, tries to kill her and she promises if he doesn't kill her, she'll help him get rid of Voldemort - possibly even offer to turn Harry. Using JKR's oath thingy - I can't remember the name of the fucking thing - that might fulfill the "bond" part of the challenge.

Please, please, please make it something less facepalm inducing. Change vampiress for Ginny and you'd have the basic plot line for a Ginslut bodice ripper. Let's not go that route.

I like the less than pleased with Harry part of things; you've got something going there that would give a plausible excuse to change Harry's character a bit.

How about she really does kill a few people he cares about? Make it messy. Gives him very good motivation to obey what she tells him to do. Torture is fun too. Harry mouths off to her at the breakfast table and she stabs him through the hand with the butter knife then calmly continues to eat.

Read a Stephen King book or two if you really want inspiration for fucking with peoples' heads.

I don't think you need to crawl back into your parents basement, but I do think you might need to go back to the drawing board a bit and think things over. Whatever you decide to do, the Work By Author section of DLP will always be open for business.

 

Yeah, yeah, I know sonar was...a dumb way to describe the concept. That is a politest way to insult myself but there is a reason why I asked first. So my pride can be castrated later in the Author Works forum. :awesome

Amerision, she's a vamp. Not a pedo. My summary is misleading but the fic is going to span more than a summer.

Tehan, was afraid of that. But Harry getting more breaks in "accidently" figuring out how to manipulate the bond on his end is so contrived, it hurts. Ask Deus ex Machina Hermione to read it in a book? Dunno what to do!

Swindraconian,I can do Stockholm Syndrome. I can also do a convoluted, Russian Roulette in which poor Harry is forced to participate but can't tell anyone they are also playing. Damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don't situation that could either be acceptable or be an epic failure.

And...Ginslut bodice ripper? It sounds lulzy but I'm almost afraid to ask what the fuck is it?

 

Bodice ripper; add one Ginevra Molly Wealsey to achieve ginslut status.


Just to see if I'm reading this right, the basic premise is Harry getting into a relationship with a female vampire, and that somehow leads to him acting like a dark lord. A ... 'bond' is established between the two.

Well, the existing data on vampires in the Potter-verse is next to nil. They drink blood, they aren't allowed, or are just unable, to use wands, and the list of canon examples is a good case for clawing one's eyes out. (Basic data - Named ones)

I'd suggest approaching this form a two-pronged approach, if you are dead set on using Harry's magical power. First off, don't fixate on any kinds of pulses, just use accidental magic. Harry has a history of not being in control of his magic, and Book 5 gave us the exploding office. Something he read in the prophet can just set him off.

Vampires now, can enjoy the rush of that ambient magic release, where there is no control at all really. Maybe it allows them to grow in power, extends their life-span, let's them stay more alive looking, or something. Short point, they can siphon that off for their own use, acting like a parasite.

That can be one impetus for your vampiress to seek out our unstable 'hero'.

Second attack point, the regulations about the treatment of vampires. We don't have their text, so you can pretty much make them up to be whatever you want them to be. Attaching herself to Harry can mean some kind of standing within the wizarding world. (Not for her outright, since as a non-wizard; part-human she won't get any real standing ever, but Harry can sound like the perfect patsy to use as a front.)

You can also use a kind of blood bond, to borrow from other vampire mythologies, to give her an in for compelling Harry. That should also fulfill the bond aspect, without the need to go for some shitty soul-bond concept.

Since we are talking about Harry, Mr. Lucky beyond all belief, the thrall like nature of the blood bond just doesn't take him completely. He can basically manage to resist, but he has to be on the lookout for the attempts.

Breaking the bond could be as simple as killing the vamp, but the better nature of Harry can get in the way for that. By the time he's over that, he be used to her, or whatever the plot needs/demands.


Storywise, I'd rather see manipulative ways and ambition being encouraged on both sides. The whole being dark for the sake of dark seems highly annoying. So, she's using Harry to have a chance at influencing the wizarding world, as well as being a walking happy meal of excess magic. Harry, in turn, will have to become far more paranoid, so she doesn't mess with his head with the bond. All the while that is going on, she'll also keep encouraging his emotional side, that produces those delicious magical outbursts.

The entire torture, blackmail with friends, and kill list thing seems utterly trite. That's like writing a Crucio happy Voldemort, simply not interesting as a credible villain.

 

The Stockholm syndrome idea is what would work best with your initial plot, IMO.
Like others said, I'd like to see something more along the lines of manipulation and psychological evolution that an endless list of Crucios and murders.

There's potential for Harry to become a terrorist fighting for the vampire's rights there. That would explain him going a bit dark.

 

Y'know, the fact that he's being enslaved and tortured into becoming evil is a sign that, for once, the Ministry was right on the ball when they decided to crack down on Vampires.

If all they need is ambient magic, they just have to set up shop next to Hogwarts. Plenty of ambient magic in the air there, far more than that produced by one canonically incompetent child...

 

I didn't say a righteous fight for vampire rights.
It's not like vampires would say "yeah, you treat us like shit, but we're a bunch of motherfuckers anyway, so that's alright." To them, we're food. They don't care wheter the Ministry was right or not, they're still gonna eat us.

 

About the whole vamp needs magic thingy, I thought of magic as something like a muscle. In order to become a magical being, you must have inherent magic (so no muggle vamps or werewolves, I think canon doesn't contradict this). Magic finishing "developing" at around age 11 and after that it is a muscle. It must be used or it runs the risk of atrophy.

Being non-human, Dark creature, whatever they aren't allowed wands in order to use their magic. Weres atrophy quicker because of the magical stress transforming gives them. Vamps are like a slow sieve with the max amount of magic they have at one time decreasing over the years.

To fix this, they either need to build up "magic endurance" through wands, or be a symbiote and use their magic through another (like messing with Harry's head).

Does that make any sense whatsoever?

And can I be a faggot and say I love you guys? Or is that not allowed?