Title: Spyral 9
Author: Random Writer 46
Category: WIP
Genre: General/Adventure
Rating: K+
Pairing: ?
Link: fanfiction.net
Summary: In a world devoid of ninja, a new power rises in its place. They are known as Gears, weapons of war piloted only by those chosen. When Uzumaki Naruto finds one in the middle of a siege on his home, a story begins that will forever change the world.

I'm not sure whether this goes here first or in the Naruto section straight away.

As AU as you can get. No ninja and jutsu. But there are giant robots, interesting fight scenes and all of the characters so far seem pretty well rounded. I'm not a good judge of grammar and spelling unless they are completely horrible and easy to pick out, but a grammar Nazi said it was good, so I'll take his word for it.

Now, most of you are probably making faces about mecha and Naruto being put in the same sentence. But this author makes it work for some strange reason. I'd suggest anyone to try the first chapter or two before making a judgment.

5/5 definitely up there with the best of them.

 

Minus points for using the term 'techies' in a narrative manner when there isn't a narrator, capitalizing 'Armor' in narration as a method of indicating that it's special, random indecipherable Japanese 'Santen Shogun', 'launch a counter-offensive attack', and using fucking JAPANESE SYMBOLS in the middle of a story. 木ノ葉戦記 Does NOT belong in the middle of a fucking story. If I want to read in Japanese, I go to a Japanese website. When I saw this, I stopped reading.

Tsunade is extremely out of character in the intro, and in fact, this isn't even a Naruto fic from what I can tell. It's a mecha fic using Naruto character names and appearances. GTFO.

1/5 because it won't let me rate a zero.

 

When I want to read a story about people riding mechanical 50 ft tall robots I'll read a Power Rangers fic. Zords have no place in the Narutoverse.

 

Hmm.

I was tempted to label it fail right from the outset. I nearly clicked the x after seeing the random Japanese kanji in the middle of the page.

I kept reading, though, and forced my way through the descriptions and semi-accurate attempts at trying to stay within the characters of the Naruto verse.

It didn't work. I clicked the x anyway. The writer tries hard, I'll give him that. But the premise of the story and it's execution just doesn't seem to click. Where's he going with this? What's the point?

2/5, for effort and for semi-adherence to proper writing.

 

It was decent in the beginning I guess, but it gets painful to read as you keep going. Props for a semi-original cross over, but I couldn't get into the Wave arc at all. 2/5

 

Let me guess, you skimmed past the first chapter, so far past it in fact, that you went right past the big bolded words that said Glossary, then proceeded to rate the story on what you saw there. Nice.

Tsunade is out of character how exactly? Because, really, I don't see how you can judge someone with only a minute of talking to them.

I understand the hesitancy to touch this with a ten foot pole, because it easy to label this as semi-high school!Naruto fic with a mix of big robots and fail. But that is only before you read the story, like I said, the author somehow makes it work for him.

 

I did a count on the first chapter, 3k words, a good quarter of which aren't story. If someone needs to spend that many words on additional notes outside the story itself, they're doing it wrong.


As for the Kanji use, instant fail. If the writer is so fond of the language, why not ditch the english and write entiely in Japanese?

I could not have put it better myself, so I won't try.

 

I'm not going to defend my decision over whether or not I should have put this for review. I think this fic is great, if you decide it is not your cup of tea. The that's fine also.

 

The author is an anti-environmentalist fucker.

1/5

 

A Naruto fanfiction without "ninja" is, by definition, not a Naruto fanfiction.

Frankly the summary was fail enough to keep me away.

If you like the story, go ahead, like it. But please don't market it to us as quality Naruto fiction.

It's insulting.

 

I believe saying it's insulting is a little harsh, but never the less, true that it really isn't Naruto fiction. More like fiction with Naruto characters with some ideas taken from Naruto.

I decided to read this after reading how much everyone here believed it to be fail. My thought was after reading about how crappy it should be, my expectations were low. It was probably to due to this that I actually enjoyed this. I'm not going to say that it is anything great, but I'd probably call this a 'guilty pleasure' and follow it.

I'll give it a 3.5/5.