See anything wrong with this picture? His reviews/chapter are on par with works by Shezza and jbern.

 

Here's a surefire winner...

Dance! by Naia reviews
AU Hogwarts is the most famous ballet school of Europe, and Hermione is proud to be part of its graduating class. But this year, the young prodigy Harry Potter, son of two ballet stars is coming to Hogwarts... This is a year everyone will remember. Complete - Fiction Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 85,905 - Reviews: 1060 - Updated: 10-22-08 - Published: 8-28-03

Hats off to the "author" for actually finishing this, but look - it took her five fucking years!

Anyone want to bet this is where nonjon got some of the inspiration for "Dimension-Hopping"?

 

Whoa...isn't some of her crap actually in the Library? Frightening...

I just looked at her profile and found some interesting parallels!

"I'm a 23 year old French girl studying medicine..."

Is this Tinn's alter ego?! Are you just lying about your age, Tinnie?

 

I'm turning 21 in March.

My grammar is better than hers.

Her reader-base and her review-count are way, way better than mine.

 

I guess it's because

1) you started posting your stories much later than her.
2) If it takes 5 years to finish a story, there's a lot of time for people to leave reviews with nothing but "UPDATE PLZ"
3) her stories appeal to the millions of fangirls out there, which your stories obviously don't, otherwise you'd have more fangirlish reviews. That's a good thing, by the way.

...errm, I mean the "not appealing to fangirls" thing

 

This type of story was fashionable for a time, but hers was by far the most popular.

Another of Naia's stories, Anarkia, was remarkable for its time and still reads well today. While some of her stories are out there (Ballet!Harry) and others are disappointing (her take on Squib!Harry), she's done some solid work too. The scare quotes around "author" probably aren't warranted.

I've never been intrigued enough to read her dragon story, but I've heard positive things about it. (That it has a S'TarKan-esque review count is also noteworthy).

At her best, however, she's still nowhere near as good as Tinn Tam. (And no, I'm not just saying that because I'll be vacationing in Paris this summer... though I wouldn't turn down some restaurant recs from a local ).

 

I'd say positive things about her Dragon story, its one of the few fics I started to read years ago, that I can reread today without completely cringing.

 

Got this from a C2 alert.

Who am I really?
Summary: Harry's life before hogwarts is not what we thought. After making a
new friend at school his life may change for the better or for the worse... no
one knows...

My danger sense tingled, but I ignored it. Rest asured, I won't do that again in the near future.

 

Unbeknownst to you, that was just a trap to get your age

Oh wait, its in your author profile. Oh well, then.

By the way, I mean no offense to you when I insult French people in my latest story. Sorry there, Tinny...

 

Excuse me while I kill myself.

A Japanese person who will surely befriend Harry, an unknown Pureblood family with a faggot child and pre-angst Harry as a 5 year old will not add up to any positive numbers. Maybe three lines of diologue total, and of it maybe one even had grammar included.

As a side note, I am absolutely sure that this line will pop up later in the story after 'Ay' and Harry become fuck buddies;

 

Worse than that, how many Japanese people are named Smith?

 

That's the very first thing that popped into my head. What a goob.

 

Serpens Armarum

FanNoWriMo! Harry has an unusual reaction to Basilisk venom...one that will shake the Wizarding World to its very core. AU MagicalCreatureHarry, ManipulativeDumbledore, preslash

Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: T - English - General/Supernatural - Chapters: 23 - Words: 72,050 - Reviews: 1136 - Updated: 11-29-08 - Published: 7-10-08


This story is probably the worst one I've ever read, or rather attempted to read. I believe I got till 30k until I stopped. The number of reviews was what drew me in - even if it's not truly a relevant criteria for a good story.

It starts in the summer after Harry's second year. He has this weird reaction to the basislisk venom which turns him into a freaky human/snake creature. He starts to devour rats and moves in with a OBHWF clone family in Knockturn Alley who maintains an inn for all the poor freaky outcast creatures that aren't loved by wizarding society. Part of Harry's new patchwork family is his future love interest, another MALE freaky creature. So we have bestiality between two different species.

Furthermore, there's lots of Abused!Harry angst, he gets comforted by his new OBHWF clone family and the male love interest. The amount of angst is similar to the one found in your usual cliché DracoInLeatherpants/Pussy!Harry story.

The reason why I hate it so much? Because it starts out fairly innocent and degenerates into a serious mindfuck. There would have been potential for the idea, but it's drowned in angst, slash and Weasley clones.

-5/5 from me.

 

I contemplated reading that a few times, but the Pre-Slash factor thankfully stopped me.

Thanks for the heads-up!

 

On the subject of HP/Twilight crossovers that one can heartily condemn to the flames of the fourth circle of hell, we have this:

Emerald Twilight» by Bittersweet Alias reviews
AU:Slash:Non-Magic: Crossover-Twilight. When Harry moves to Forks to be with his dad, he never expected to fall in love with a classic vampire. Nor did he expect to have a nomad vampire named Tom Riddle Jr. madly obsessed with him. Edward/Harry Complete - Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 148,668 - Reviews: 1636 - Updated: 12-27-08 - Published: 9-25-08

Okay, non-magic Harry Potter, SLASH, cross-over with Twilight, partial Severitus story premise, unbelievably OC characters, and some of the worst dialogue that has been seen in fanfiction. I got into trouble from this author's bloody LEGION of fans when I posted my 'helpful' review, so I figured I'd consign it here, where it belongs. Am I the only one who feels that the fact this story has over 1600 reviews is vaguely upsetting?

 

Post your review and the subsequent outrage somewhere. So that way at least something good came out of that steaming piece of fangirl shite.

 

Way ahead of you, the review was already posted on DLP in THIS thread, along with some of the subsequent fangirl rage. I have to say that I probably provocated the issue more than I should have, but in this case, I think I was rather justified.

 

Pipe In » by phoenixfaery2 reviews Hogwarts reopens post-war with the same old rivalries. Enter Piper Urlington, American transfer and former rock star to liven things up a bit.Fiction Rated: T - English - General - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,442 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 3-1-09 - Published: 2-27-09

Biggest Mary-Sue I have ever seen. No plot as of yet.

 

Harry Potter and the Trip to the Past

19 years after the war with Voldemort Harry Potter is thrown 25 years into the past, arriving just before the start of his first year at Hogwarts. Please Read and Review.

Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General/Adventure - Chapters: 27 - Words: 145,917 - Reviews: 1408 - Updated: 7-2-08 - Published: 9-26-07

I'm starting to feel slightly sick.

Harry was also the world's most freaking uber-awesomest Gary Stu ever with a cherry on top.
Also, the author has a bad writing style.

Lawl. That needs to be quoted twice. Don't forget to clean your Dark Arts after every use, kids. You might catch some sort of disease if you don't. It's why Voldemort looks so freaky and snake-like. He got sick and deformed because he didn't clean up after practising the 'Dark Arts'. Yeah, right.

and

Fucking imbecile. You're doing a summary of Rowling's stupid epilogue, but you can't be bothered to get the fucking names right. Fuck you, you fucking illiterate.



I didn't finish the first chapter. I can't believe that this has actually more than 1400 reviews. Stupid fangirls.

 

Super!Harry is one thing, but a Harry who doesn't use that magnificent power and his few remaining brain cells to skew the odds in his favour, is a whole different kettle of fish altogether. Coupled with Snape fangirlism and Cry-baby!Harry, and you've got a large sum of FAIL on your hands.

I have very bad memories from this story, the prologue somehow failed to get all the rampant and blatant Severitus foreshadowing through my thick skull, and I moderately enjoyed the rest of this crap up to ch 8, when my enthusiasm started to dim rapidly. Having Snivelus Harry's only confidant, an Adult!Harry who's even more dim and childish than his canon counterpart, and one of the single worst PS climaxes I've ever seen in a redo fic, was thankfully enough to rid me of the remaining sadistic tendencies, and I stopped reading.

I may be exaggerating slightly since I only skimmed enough to make sure that I wasn't mixing up stories, but I somehow doubt it.