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Lamest joke you know!

Discussion in 'The Humor Mill' started by Mage Ronin, Jan 9, 2009.

0/5, 0 votes
Page 3 of 4
  1. SEG-CISR

    SEG-CISR First Year

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    Feb 7, 2009 #41
    So a cripple walks into a bar...
     
  2. Knox

    Knox The Last Remnant DLP Supporter

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    Feb 7, 2009 #42
    A Navy man and an Army man are driving opposite directions on a curvy mountain road. The army man hits a patch of sand, swerves, and nails the Navy man's truck. They both exit their cars with no injuries, but their vehicles are ruined.

    Now, the rivalry between Army and Navy is well known, so needless to say a heated argument followed. Then suddenly the Navy man changed heart and said, "Hold on, this is dumb. It was an accident. Let's put this rivalry behind us."

    The Army man agreed this was a good idea. So the Navy man offered, "Why don't we celebrate our new friendship over a fifth of vodka? I have a bottle in the truck."

    The Army man thought this was an excellent idea. So the Navy man, being a gentleman, offered the Army man the first drink, and told the Army man to drink as much as he wanted. Soon half the bottle was gone and he offered the bottle back to the Navy man who said, "Thanks, but I'll wait till after the cops get here!"
     
  3. Argosh

    Argosh Groundskeeper

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    Feb 7, 2009 #43
    A blind man walks thru the market. When he's about to pass the stall selling fish, he sniffs and says politely, "Hello ladies!"
     
  4. Knox

    Knox The Last Remnant DLP Supporter

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    Feb 7, 2009 #44
    That's not a joke its Afro Man - Colt 45. TRY AGAIN! D:
     
  5. lolinho

    lolinho Squib

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    Feb 7, 2009 #45
    Wanna hear a joke?
    Women's rights.

    What's small, green and triangular?
    A small green triangle.

    What's small, grey and triangular?
    The small green triangle's shadow.

    What's big, blue, lives 10 ft under the ground and eats stones?
    The big blue stone eater.

    If you dug a hole from North Pole to South Pole and threw a rock in ah the North Pole, how far would it go?
    Only 10ft, because the big blue stone eater lives there.

    -----

    And Immolo, FO3 dumb jokes rock.
     
  6. Xiph0

    Xiph0 Yoda Admin

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    Feb 7, 2009 #46
    Your avatar kicks ass, where's it from?
     
  7. Dark Minion

    Dark Minion Bright Henchman DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    Feb 7, 2009 #47
    Let epsilon be less than zero.
     
  8. Khazad-Dumb

    Khazad-Dumb Loves the Gay Porn DLP Supporter

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    Feb 7, 2009 #48
    Jesus walks into a hotel, throws down three nails and says "Put me up for the night"
     
  9. DarkAizen

    DarkAizen Professor DLP Supporter

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    Feb 7, 2009 #49
    Chuck Norris counted to infinity, twice!

    When Chuck Norris counted to infinity the third time,he counted in complex numbers.

    The fourth time ,he started from minus infinity :)
     
  10. Xiph0

    Xiph0 Yoda Admin

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    Feb 7, 2009 #50
    Good one, haha.
     
  11. Khazad-Dumb

    Khazad-Dumb Loves the Gay Porn DLP Supporter

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    Feb 7, 2009 #51
    Q: Why did Jesus die on the cross?

    Because he forgot the safeword
     
  12. Zombie

    Zombie Black Philip Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐

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    Feb 7, 2009 #52
    Rofl. Jesus humor.

    Made me laugh this morning.

    Especially this one:

     
  13. Koalas

    Koalas First Year ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Feb 7, 2009 #53
    So a seal walks into a club...
     
  14. Grubdubdub

    Grubdubdub Supreme Mugwump

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    Feb 7, 2009 #54
    Searched 'Jesus joke' in google, this is what I came up with:

    Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
    Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands!
     
  15. Zombie

    Zombie Black Philip Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐

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    Feb 9, 2009 #55
    What did the pacific ocean say to the atlantic?

    Nothing, it just waved.

    What did the deaf, blind, and paralyzed boy get for Christmas?

    Cancer.

    Why did the girl fall of the swing?

    Because she had no arms

    Also, this doesn't really go here, but in light of the Men > Women Thread(s)

    Funniest joke I know?

    WOMENS RIGHTS
     
  16. Schrodinger

    Schrodinger Muggle ~ Prestige ~

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    Feb 9, 2009 #56
    Worst pickup line ever: "let's play Titanic. You'll be the ocean, and I'll go down on you."
    When a guy used it on me, I naturally responded with " Sure, lets play titanic, I'll be the ocean, and as you sink into me, I'll tear you in half and leave you lying there on the floor." At this point, he started to back away, muttering something about sadistic bitches... I wonder why?
     
  17. Amerision

    Amerision Galactic Sheep Emperor DLP Supporter

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    Feb 9, 2009 #57
    Sarah Palin?
     
  18. Argosh

    Argosh Groundskeeper

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    Feb 9, 2009 #58
    I think its supposed to be HP, from a photoshopped HP/Matrix movie poster. ;)
     
  19. DarkAizen

    DarkAizen Professor DLP Supporter

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    Feb 9, 2009 #59
    Q. What is the definition of "making love"?





    A. Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.
     
  20. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    Feb 16, 2009 #60
    My boss has a favorite joke to tell that apparently NEVER gets old. He tells it constantly and finds it to be the most amusing joke ever. Here it is:


    What do you get when you cross a giraffe and a german shepherd?

    A watchdog for the third floor!


    ...I know, it's not even funny because it's so stupid, but it is probably the lamest joke I know.

    Also, I've just realized I don't know how to do spoiler tags. Anyone care to enlighten me?

    EDIT: Thanks to the two of you who told me how to do the spoiler tags. Cheers!
     
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2009
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