So a cripple walks into a bar...

 

A Navy man and an Army man are driving opposite directions on a curvy mountain road. The army man hits a patch of sand, swerves, and nails the Navy man's truck. They both exit their cars with no injuries, but their vehicles are ruined.

Now, the rivalry between Army and Navy is well known, so needless to say a heated argument followed. Then suddenly the Navy man changed heart and said, "Hold on, this is dumb. It was an accident. Let's put this rivalry behind us."

The Army man agreed this was a good idea. So the Navy man offered, "Why don't we celebrate our new friendship over a fifth of vodka? I have a bottle in the truck."

The Army man thought this was an excellent idea. So the Navy man, being a gentleman, offered the Army man the first drink, and told the Army man to drink as much as he wanted. Soon half the bottle was gone and he offered the bottle back to the Navy man who said, "Thanks, but I'll wait till after the cops get here!"

 

A blind man walks thru the market. When he's about to pass the stall selling fish, he sniffs and says politely, "Hello ladies!"

 

That's not a joke its Afro Man - Colt 45. TRY AGAIN! D:

 

Wanna hear a joke?

Spoiler

Women's rights.

What's small, green and triangular?

Spoiler

A small green triangle.

What's small, grey and triangular?

Spoiler

The small green triangle's shadow.

What's big, blue, lives 10 ft under the ground and eats stones?

Spoiler

The big blue stone eater.

If you dug a hole from North Pole to South Pole and threw a rock in ah the North Pole, how far would it go?

Spoiler

Only 10ft, because the big blue stone eater lives there.

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And Immolo, FO3 dumb jokes rock.

 

Let epsilon be less than zero.

 

Jesus walks into a hotel, throws down three nails and says "Put me up for the night"

 

Chuck Norris counted to infinity, twice!

When Chuck Norris counted to infinity the third time,he counted in complex numbers.

The fourth time ,he started from minus infinity

 

Q: Why did Jesus die on the cross?

Spoiler

Because he forgot the safeword

 

So a seal walks into a club...

 

Searched 'Jesus joke' in google, this is what I came up with:

Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?

Spoiler

Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands!

 

Worst pickup line ever: "let's play Titanic. You'll be the ocean, and I'll go down on you."
When a guy used it on me, I naturally responded with " Sure, lets play titanic, I'll be the ocean, and as you sink into me, I'll tear you in half and leave you lying there on the floor." At this point, he started to back away, muttering something about sadistic bitches... I wonder why?

 

Sarah Palin?

 

I think its supposed to be HP, from a photoshopped HP/Matrix movie poster.

 

Q. What is the definition of "making love"?





A. Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.