Idea 1:

So here is an idea which I had awhile back. I'm rather annoyed by it to be honest because it combines two things which I absolutely detest seeing in Harry Potter fanfiction: crossovers and Asia (well to an extent). The idea is basically that Fletcher teaches Harry how to duel. I got the idea because I was sitting around reading another horrible Harry confronts Dung because he stole from him scene in fanfiction when I started to think about why Dumbledore keeps Dung around.

This lead to me thinking up a Drunken Master crossover where Dung teaches Harry the ancient art of drunken dueling which could make for a decent comedy in the hands of the right author.

Idea 2:

Arthur is the head of the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office, and he is really poor. Now, this leads me to believe that on the surface he has no cunning, intelligence, or ambition yet all of his kids with the notable exception of Ron are very talented at magic. My guess is that this job is a front, and Arthur is actually the head of a giant spy ring. He runs the department that spies on muggles, keeps track of their technology, the ways magic interacts with that technology, and what the muggle governments create as new weapons as well as what they plan on doing with said weapons.

I mean the kids obviously didn’t get any talent from their mom the housewife whose only real talent is cooking so this make wonderful sense especially given that Arthur would be the last person you would expect to run the wizarding version of MI6. He isn’t as dumb about muggle tech as he lets on either. I think he mispronounces it on purpose and that his wife Molly was chosen because she was too dumb about the muggle world to catch on to him being a super spy. She also makes some mean kabobs!

I'm not really sure where I would go with this idea, but it is original as far as I know, and it makes for an interesting characterization.

Idea 3:

Happy Birthday Dear Gin
You're a hoe with big breasts
So take the night off from hooking
If you smell what Dobby is cooking​

I've had the idea of a Dobby with the personality of the Rock, and I can't get it out of my head. I mean he is the most electrifying elf in the wizarding world today. These ideas were used in a little thing I wrote as a parody of a review/a guide to writing less shitty Harry Potter stories. It is actually what lead me to finding out about this site because someone read it and told me I would probably fit in here....I also pissed off several Canadians when I wrote it, but that is another matter entirely.

 

1. 'Dung was in the Order because he's a snitch. No other skills on that one, really.

That being said, I like seeing apparently talentless characters flushed out. While I don't think there should be an 'Ancient Art of Drunken Duelling', I could definitely see Fletcher utilizing the wizarding equivalent to sucker punches and cheap shots. Reductor Curse to the nuts: it crops up a lot in fanfiction, but only someone like 'Dung would probably stoop to that.

2. I vaguely recall some fic that had Arthur reprising his role as an assassin from the first war with Voldemort...I feel like it was a Jeconais fic. He didn't really do all that much with the idea though - I had a feeling it was just yet another reason for the entire Weasley clan surviving 'Teh Epic Final Battle!' and living happily ever after. Don't quite know what to make of this idea, though.

3. Heh, funny premise, but...nah. Dobby (and house elves in general) have plenty of quirks from canon to turn them into stand-out characters.

Although, the thought of Dobby saying "Dobby thinks Harry Potter sir's Big-tittied Ginger needs to shut her mouth", and the like, would be funny.

Of all the ideas, I like the first one the best. I don't think Fletcher should teach him how to duel in a traditional sense,though. For example, after Harry discovers he's been stealing from the Black Mansion, that turns into a cat-and-mouse game - with 'Dung using some dirty dueling technique or trick to escape. Harry learns something from each confrontation, or seeks out help in between confrontations, and sneaks out every weekend to track down 'Dung. That then spills out into tracking and fighting over the summer after 6th year, which escalates when he finds out that 'Dung potentially has the locket horcrux.

I dunno, there are plenty of authors here who could flush something out from any of the ideas, but I think the first would be the most fun to work with.

 

A Reductor curse to the nuts reminds me of that South Park episode where Butters keeps accidentally shooting everyone in the penis. Shit was lulz.

Dung as Jackie Chan? Meh. I do like JustBlaise's extension of Mr. Ripley's idea though--it's a lot more interesting than "Hey, I didn't know you could fight in the Awesome Drunken Master Technique, Dung! Teach me everything because I'm supposed to beat Voldemort? Kthx."

Arthur as the head of an unknown organization that spies on Muggles can't be any worse than Arthur who becomes head of the Order of the Phoenix after Dumbledore's death. And it's probably more realistic.

As for the third one, the Dobby as the Rock sound entertaining, but I doubt it is worth the effort of any author that could make it so. Unless you could get nonjon to do one of those drabble things he does.

 

Ginny and Percy are not talented by any definition of the word. We also don't know the requirements for Dragon-keeping, which for all we know could be simply spelling the dragon to sleep and feeding it live cows.

Kingsley, Moody or even Lupin, but the patriarch of uselessness? what the hell does he offer? I also hate the shit fics where they make him Minister of Magic. Way I see it, he only became Head of Muggle Artifacts was because no one else wanted the job and they tossed him a bone. Which could be an intresting plot device... that he owes someone a favor. My guess would be Dumbledore.

 

I thought it said somewhere in the books that dragon keeping was a dangerous job. My guess is it involves harvesting dragon parts for potions, wands, etc as well as daily upkeep of the dragons and their habitat. Also, regardless of what you might have read in fanfiction Percy is talented. He was head boy, and he received some very high grades. Just because he ended up being a power-hungry little twerp doesn't take away from his talents, and I happen to just think that Ginny takes after Molly though one could argue that Ginny has talent (lord knows JKR tries to do so), but I hate Ginny therefore she doesn't.

The actual point of these ideas where to develop some characters we know very little about in a creative way. I wasn't thinking about centering entire stories around them just using some ideas that might add an interesting twist to the character.

EDIT: My view on Bill is a bit different from most characterizations of him as well. He is a smart talented wizard, but he was also prefect and head boy. He took a lot of geeky classes, and I think his whole growing his hair out and getting an ear ring bit is annoying. I don't really see him as a bad ass. I think of him more like a geek who tries to be something he isn't. I mean curse breaking would seem to involve sitting around analyzing a curse then trying to find a counter to it or a way around it. He isn't fighting off magical creatures or in harms way. The only thing I see that could possibly go wrong is if he messed up then entered thinking he had broke the curse.

Conversely, I see Charlie as the real rebel of the family. He was a jock when he was at Hogwarts, and he loves dangerous creatures. I figure you need to be fast with stunning and shielding if you work around dangerous animals plus he doesn't try hard to look cool.

 

Someone should write a story where Charlie and Harry become friends ala Bill in the Bungle series. Bill sticks with his family, and Charlie tells them to fuck off. Then they go off after a dangerous creature? Extra points for a Harry/Fleur relationship.

Percy - talented. Ginny - talented. Sorry. If you write them any other way you have an issue with them, and an author shouldn't harbor hatred for his characters. Now, you can certainly make us hate Percy because he works with the Ministry, or Ginny because she's shiesty and feels like she belongs with Harry, but there is no reason to make them worthless at magic.

 

I don't get the whole Ginny being talented thing to be honest. I mean I've seen very little evidence of this in cannon. She was good with a rather childish hex, and she was decent as a seeker, but in the end, she really didn't accomplish much during the final battle or anywhere else. Well, she did manage to let a diary control her even though she should have known better. Ron is actually the only confirmed idiot of a Weasley. Though even he has some talent at chess though perhaps I am a bit bias since I hate both Ginny, since the first book, and Ron, since the 4th book.

The whole idea behind drunken dueling was that Harry would be drinking a lot which would annoy many characters especially Hermione who would take offense to the fact that Harry becomes skillful by drinking.

 

I think it should be a Harry/Hermione then. In one scene she's telling him how her family has always hated any type of alcoholic beverage, and then in the next, Harry is in a drunken stupor beating down any body that gets too close to him. She doesn't think anything can be learned from Mundungus and doesn't understand the amount of time Harry spends with him. And she especially hates it when he comes home smelling like that acrid green smoke...

But he loves that beaver pussy, you know? Gotta keep that shit on the DL

 

Grades do not make power, considering that while the boy was Headboy and Prefect, we don't know how you go about getting those. Spending two years behind a desk don't do much to your abilities, and with the whole Percy-Fred/George rivalry, I got the feeling the twins usually had the upper hand. The lad is basically a blank sheet in terms of magical abilities, so we really cant say shit.

What's the Canon proof for either?

Ginny has Quidditch abilities and the Bat-Bogey Hex, which aren't as epic as they would appear to the local wizard or witch.

Percy? A bootlicker for the ministry and wasted 2 years behind a desk, hardly something that kept his talents at full strength. Was a prefect and a Headboy for Hogwarts, but we don't know if that is based on grades (which seem to rely heavily on essays and the like) or on good behavior.

Write that. Now.

 

Not gonna lie, I lol'd. I was actually imagining the 4th year when I was thinking about it. Albus tells Harry he would be good trainer then he reveals his new skills for the first time against the dragon...I can just imagine the reaction of everyone when Harry walks out takes one look at the dragon then summons a couple of bottle of firewhiskey which he begins to chug down. I think Molly may just have a brain aneurysm seeing Harry drink at such a young age, and Hermione would well...I don't really know especially if Harry in his drunken stupor started hitting on her.

@Hashasheen There is a practical portion to the grading as well. Plus, I wasn't talking about power so much as talent. Talent can show up in many ways such as in Ron who is very talented at fucking up.

 

Irrational Weasley hate. Joy.

@Hash: IIRC, Ginny was duelling with Bellatrix until her mom stepped in (and bested her). She never really needed much personal attention during the DA, and Slughorn, despite what you think of his bias, didn't pick slouches for his club.

Every student in the HP-verse that's been talented, barring the trio, has also been fairly popular - and Ginny was popular. Ignoring all that, we don't know anything about the skill level of any witches/wizards below Harry's year, so it's stupid to say she's not talented because of irrational pairing hate.

Same goes for Percy. Headboys aren't slouches - there's simply no proof of an untalented Head Student in canon. And as for not living to his full potential, Voldemort, for his first job, putzed around a pawn shop solely to treasure hunt.

On topic: giving more thought to the drunken magic idea, I feel like it won't work. Good magic = full control of mental faculties. So unless the fic incorporated Harry fudging up his spells (a la Lockhart), yet getting extremely lucky results, this won't fly.

But it's fanfiction, so whatever.

 

Lockhart was actually part of the reason and the other was that crazy guy from the first book that messed up a spell and ended up with a buffalo on top of himself. It seems that messed up spells are actually better than regular spells unless you are dealing with pixies. Honestly, if a messed levitation charm can conjure a buffalo...actually, wouldn't that count as conjuring food which according to the 7th book was impossible, and even if it was possible you would think such a thing would take a lot of magic and a very complex wand motion not just a swish flick and mispronounce.

Also, I only hate Ginny because of her fangirlishness and the fact that Bonnie is the scariest thing to ever happen to humanity. I mean Daniel obviously buys into the doing your own stunts bit as he took a part in a play so he could mess around with some horses to get a bit of practice before trying to kiss Bonnie. As for Ron, I just hate him because he is useless prick who has a inferiority complex the size of Hagrid.

 

In before Taure. There is no magical power in the HP verse, only the skill of the caster affects spells.

 

I know it was never directly stated in the HPverse, but they always called Albus a great and powerful wizard, Voldemort was the most powerful dark lord in ages, and the elder wand made the impossible possible because it was a very powerful magical object. I really wish JKR would have explained this better in her series plus the idea of power levels and magical stamina makes things more interesting.

 

I don't hate all the Weasleys, just most of them.

DH, but I'll give you that.

They practiced Stunning, Disarming, slowing down, and the Patronus in the DA I think. Not that heavy a course. As for Slughorn, he picked people who went on to form businesses or preform in Quidditch not become the likes of Snape or Kingsley Shacklebot.

Snape was popular? Lockhart was popular despite his crap skills, and we have no indication of her popularity, except in Gryffindor House.
[/quote]
Same goes for Percy. Headboys aren't slouches - there's simply no proof of an untalented Head Student in canon. And as for not living to his full potential, Voldemort, for his first job, putzed around a pawn shop solely to treasure hunt.[/quote] We also don't know what is needed to become Head Student, be it grades alone or behavior and a good relationship with the Professors.

They have been overused to a massive degree, but still decent at times, and right now I'm leaning towards magic-users leaching magic off the enviroment, which is why they live in so isolated areas, or Taure's idea.