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WIP On the Way to Greatness - By Mira Mirth - T

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by ChuckDaTruck, Mar 31, 2009.

  1. maidros

    maidros Fourth Year

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    While the fic does flow reasonably well, there is nothing about the fic that makes it stand out. No original ideas, no novelty from Harry - just a summary along with a dash of Slytherin experiences. It is not bad, but there is nothing much to recommend in it, simply because you can't put your finger on one thing and say - this makes it better than others of its class

    Score:3/5
     
  2. stickybynature

    stickybynature Squib

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    I'd give it a 4/5.

    I've been enjoying this so far, nice to read only significant parts of the canon plot, rather than the author writing the whole books again word for word.

    I also like the way in which Slytherin house/students has been done, some stories tend to take the house politics and fighting too far in my opinion. Harry in this story is an improvement over many Slytherin!Harry stories in that isn't still sensitive despite being a Slytherin, or going completely psycho because of it.

    Looking forward to more updates.
     
  3. Rin

    Rin Oberstgruppenführer DLP Supporter

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    I have to say I like what I'm reading so far. Tentative 4/5 :: -1 for some of the grammar mistakes that lightly pepper it.
     
  4. h2o

    h2o Professor

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    Can't help but liking this fic. Normally I dislike Slytherin!Harry because its almost always written in the same poor way. This is more like it... while its not the most spectacular of fics its a nice, easy read. For what it is? Solid 4/5 from me. It has a lot of potential...
     
  5. Rin

    Rin Oberstgruppenführer DLP Supporter

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    I wish the author had stuck to the plan of brief one-chapter-per-year chapters. Too much extra shit in the last three.
     
  6. Memory King

    Memory King Order Member DLP Supporter

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    Posted that in the Almost Recommended Thread a few weeks back, when only two chapters had been put out. The author updated a few hours later, which was a pleasant surprise.

    I'm not sure if the story will manage to keep its momentum, but I'm fairly optimistic currently.

    Some pretty good lines here, and I liked how the author didn't throw Harry into that PS plot again.

    4/5
     
  7. Memory King

    Memory King Order Member DLP Supporter

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    Updated, year three is over.

    Don't think I've seen this version of events before, ever. It's pretty logical given the events that did not transpire, but still totally unexpected.

    I'm pretty confident in my rating now.
     
  8. Garrus

    Garrus Groundskeeper DLP Supporter

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    I'm really enjoying this story. The characterization is done right. The characters aren't unrealistic. Harry is intelligent within reason but still retains a childishness that is refreshing. Usually in these stories all the Slytherins act like they're fifteen years older.

    The characters are portrayed in refreshing new ways, especially the lesser shown Slytherins. I think the chapter lengths are appropriate for this type of story. Also it's enjoyable to see the author focus on the differences rather then retell canon with a slightly different perception.

    I also enjoyed that the Pettigrew's dead body didn't automatically absolve Sirius in the eyes of the law. A lawyer could come up with a dozen reasonable explanations for why Peter lived beyond when he was supposed to have died and why Sirius was still guilty.

    Overall a very good story. I give it a 4.5/5
     
  9. Dark Syaoran

    Dark Syaoran No. 4 Admin

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    Best story I've read in a long while.

    The only real problem I have is the meshing of Harry's friends. It's common in these types of stories - where Harry is actually more like his canon self instead of turning into some asshole that hates everyone - but it's something that can backfire.

    It's always Neville and Hermione, for some reason. At least Blaise is not even paying Hermione any attention, at all. Millicent always struck me as someone who wouldn't be so tolerant, especially when she was locking Hermione in a headlock in second year, but I like this version of her, even if their strange kinda-acceptance of Neville is just plain weird.

    I know he's a pureblood, but so is Ron. Then again, Neville isn't a bigot.

    Anyway, it's minor. I enjoy it all the same.
     
  10. knothead

    knothead Groundskeeper

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    I've been reading the story, and I think that its ordinariness when compared to other stories is perhaps the best thing "On the Way to Greatness" has going for it. That being said, I'm holding off on rating it because I want to see how the author portrays the fourth and fifth years.
     
  11. This was pretty decent, I would say a 4/5 because of some of the original twists, especially in the last chapter. I have to wonder how the future years will go due to the ending of book three...

    All in all, I have seen a lot worse Slytherin!Harry fics out there.
     
  12. merchantofam

    merchantofam Fifth Year DLP Supporter

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    Though there is no originality to the story its something to read on a rainy day. However in my opinion the author fails to give important turning points in the HP universe enough detail. For example in the latest chapter the meeting between Sirius and Harry is too short to truly understand the impact on Harry's psyche. In cannon there was at least two or three chapters completely dedicated to this specific encounter, although I would not expect mira mirth to devote a couple of chapters I would still expect them to dedicate at least half a chapter not a couple a sentences or a paragraph.

    Still the story is better than most the drivel we see in fanfiction. 3.5/5
     
  13. Johnny Farrar

    Johnny Farrar High Inquisitor

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    The latest update is quite good. I liked the way Sirius behaved. It's expected that a man who has spent more than a decade in Azkaban would have a rather questionable sanity, though it would have been better had the author shown a bit elongated confrontation between Harry and Sirius.

    I liked the way Harry gets angry and suspicious at Lupin too. I always thought Harry was very forgiving towards him in canon.

    Harry's thoughts regarding Hermione being given the Time-Turner was also nicely done.

    Overall, a fairly decent story that has the capability to make the library.
     
  14. LuxDragon

    LuxDragon Fourth Year

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    I didn't like that last chapter.

    The forgiving part I agree with everyone here, it's the ignorance I can't stand. He says the he doesn't trust Snape yet he follows his advise? He's not a bigot, but he doesn't trusts werewolves because they're werewolves? Sirius is innocent, I'll just forget about him and move on, that's it?

    Lupin lied because if word got out what he is, he's fired. Sirius is innocent so Harry should've heard him out or at least want to move out of the Dursleys (Harry still hates them), and basically ignoring every problem instead of actively solving them... I really can't see how he's gonna go on to "greatness" at this rate.
     
  15. Kthr

    Kthr Unspeakable DLP Supporter

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    Am I the only one confused by that? As far as I remember, Ron is a pureblood as well, so I cant see him really calling another pureblood that. Then again, that is one of the most common swears that we see in fannon, even when a stupid eleven-years-old weasley wouldnt really know what that means.

    Anyway, I dont really enjoy 1st-3rd years re-make. Firstly because the author usualy give-up, and secondly because you wont see any good actions before the triwizard starts, so I'll refrain from rating till there.

    The excuse he gave to keep his 'friendship' with hermione is also a lame one. I dont care how usefull she could be, with all the bias against muggleborns displayed on this story slytherin someone would have set Harry straight about getting any funny ideas.
     
  16. Grubdubdub

    Grubdubdub Supreme Mugwump

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    I like this story, though I'm not too sure about a few of the turns it decided to take. I guess I'll just have to wait and see how it turns out.

    I once called my brother a SOB in that age range. You should'nt look for too much logic when you read about preteens swearing.
     
  17. Lucky_Number_sLevin

    Lucky_Number_sLevin Banned

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    This story is interesting and has very good grammar. This line has me looking forward to future chapters...
    Lots of potential for a great story.
    4/5 so far, will probably go up once we get some more action.
     
  18. ChuckDaTruck

    ChuckDaTruck Overlord

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    Updated.

    Harry is getting more ambitious, and a significant deviation has begun to form it seems from Canon.

    One of the better chapters so far.

    4.5/5
     
  19. darklordmike

    darklordmike Headmaster

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    I'm really enjoying this one so far, and I don't usually like Slytherin!Harry stories. Too often Harry gets turned into a snotty little bastard or an unrealistically cunning genius. The author is doing a credible job of slowly adjusting canon Harry's personality to bring out his more Slytherin traits.

    4/5 for now, but I think this could be a 5 if the plot eventually deviates from canon in an interesting way.
     
  20. whateveritis12

    whateveritis12 Third Year

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    I agree with pretty much everything that LuxDragon said.

    While not forgiving Remus for not being there for him during his time with the Dursley's is understandable. Not forgiving him because he didn't tell him he's a werewolf isn't. Maybe some time will make it better. But now you have a Harry who is self-centered to the point that he doesn't care about anything except for the slights against his person. The fact that he holds a grudge against Sirius to the point he wants to see him pay just for seeing him at his weakest is bullshit.

    The point is that Harry is turning into a blood purist with some exceptions. Namely being friends with Hermione. In fact at this point I can easily see this Harry becoming the next Dark Lord after he kills Voldemort. He's seeking power for powers sake. So while he might not be as ruthless as Voldemort is, he could see that being the biggest man on the block can do for you.

    Look at Dumbledore. He doesn't do shit for the greater part of 60 years, but he is recognized as the most powerful wizard of the time and no one questions the decisions he makes until 5th year when Fudge does it deliberatly to discredit him. And then when the truth comes out Fudge doesn't last in office for another month.

    All in all I don't really like this Harry. While he goes into school the same way he was in canon, being sorted into Slytherin would no doubt change his character. But I don't think it would've changed this much in 3 years. Think it's just from the fact that he's looking down on people. Remus comes to mind that he takes Snapes word for it and starts distrusting someone who's generally been nice to him just because he's a werewolf on the words of someone who's been a dick to him.

    So while this is a good portrayal of Slytherin!Harry, I think the author's changed him too much too fast considering he had the same starting point as what would've happened with a Harry in Gryffindor.
     
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